The birthday party is being held for a physician I work with. He awarded me last year for excellence in my field. I am fine when I am at work, but socially on the outside, I guess you could say my self esteem is just crap, and I am getting really nervous because I am expected to show up at the party place in 2 hours. It makes me have a sick feeling in my throat and I cannot decide what to wear, what to take along, and how to behave when I get there. My neighbor friend is supposed to meet me there. I asked him to go just for moral support and now I am not sure if that was such a good idea. All of the other partiers will be bringing their spouses and significant others. How do I cope with all of this? I need advice quick.
2006-12-21 09:20:40 · 9 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think a couple of shots would make me relax, so I will do that, Now WHAT ELSE???? Help please
2006-12-21 09:30:44 · update #1
There will be a group of physicians there. We all work in the same hospital, and one of them is really funny. If they all bring there wives, there will be a room full of doctors. I guess if I have a heart attac, I will be in a safe place. Oh Crap this makes me so nervy
2006-12-21 09:32:57 · update #2
take a couple of shots of whiskey before you go
2006-12-21 09:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Happy Birthday!!
2016-03-13 09:26:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST BE YOURSELF AND CALM DOWN, AND DON'T LIE TO THEM ABOUT ANYTHING IF YOU WANT.
2006-12-21 09:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ugly George Bush 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Remember to STOP...
S.....stop
T......think
O......observe
P......proceed
Don't drink...you are apt to overindulge due to your anxiety, which will create worse anxiety tomorrow. ( and also confirm some of your fear of being "social")
Deep breaths through your nose, long exhales through your through lips (shaped as it you are whistling)
.
Continue to tell yourself that you will not:
Pass out, faint, etc.
Remember we can all do ANYTHING for one minute....if that works, try 2 min., then 3, then 5....I'm sure you see what I mean.
Remember that you can leave at ANY TIME....including 2 minutes after you get there.
Park your car in an accessible place, "not parked in". If you use public tran. know the schedule, and where you can wait if you leave before the next bus, train, etc. Have enough money for a taxi. If you are prepared for some unexpected's you will have less to fear.
If you allow yourself to "not be obligated" you can feel more at ease.
Keep in mind...this may be fun.
2006-12-21 09:50:35 · answer #4 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just breathe. Trust me, I'm pleanty paranoid when it comes to social interactions, and it's never as bad as you imagine it will be.
If it's formal, just find a nice button up shirt, tie, and dress pants if you don't have a suit. Otherwise, just wear something that looks presentable but that you're comfortable with. If you wear something you hate, it's not gonna help you feel any better.
Other than that, all I can say is breathe and don't panic. I know it's easier said than done, but it's really all that can be done. Don't drink, don't take any meds, just calm down. Listen to some music on the way there, talk, do something to loosen up and just be yourself. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing, and you won't. If you're just you, people will accept you better and you'll feel more at ease.
I wish you luck at this event.
2006-12-21 09:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by Amba 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a real solution to the problem. Drain the pipes and smoke a blunt of that good or have a stiff drink. But remember to drain dem pipes.It helps you relax if wait an hr. before the party. My brother was the same way untill a friend from college came home for the hollidays with me . My brother dose this now ritually.
2006-12-21 09:38:38 · answer #6 · answered by sweet cakes 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If it casual dress you should find a shirt that would make it easy for somebody to start up a conversation with you. Wear a t-shirt that has your college on it or something and then people will easily be able to ask you about your college experience. Or maybe take something with you that you know a lot about. For example, show up wearing your ipod if you know a lot about it. People might ask you about it and you can probably hold a good conversation with your knowhow.
2006-12-21 09:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by nitrox420 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Chill out! Stop feeding the freak-out mechanism in your mind by spiraling out chatter about it. Look forward to meeting the friend who will be there for you and remember you are invited, you belong there, you have nice clothes to wear, and you are not at the center of everyone's thoughts. Have a good time and don't over-drink. Observe other people. When monkey-mind starts screeching at you, say, "thanks, but no thanks." You're just freaking out, that's all. It's not real.
2006-12-21 09:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Obvious 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well if you are not going to see them agin then just be yourself
2006-12-21 09:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by Kayley M 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If this is about self-esteem, it is a completely different issue. That can be fixed with some of the comments people have come up with here. But, if it's Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), no one else who has answered here has a clue about how difficult SAD is. It's not something that can be fixed by saying, "just buck up," "have a plan," "wear an interesting conversation starting shirt," "be yourself." It has nothing to do with any of that. I know. I have SAD. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain and it is the most god-awful thing in the world. You feel sick, panicky, like you would rather die and you want to run screaming from the room as fast as you can. You want to hide in a dark corner and not come out until it's done. I used to drink a lot just to cope. PLEASE don't do that. PLEASE DON'T DRINK, IT'S NOT THE ANSWER. I don't drink anymore, and so coping is so much more difficult again. For me, I don't go to parties anymore. I politely decline. People call me anti-social, they say mean things, but it doesn't matter to me. I am much more comfortable being with myself. I have even gotten to the point of forcing myself to drive all the way there, then sit in my car for 10 minutes trying to get up the courage and ultimately driving off back home. It's a horrible thing. But, if you have to go, taking a friend that you know is without a doubt the best answer. You need someone to hang with that you feel comfortable with. I am on Lexapro now, which helps a lot, but it still doesn't fix everything. For now, go to the party with your friend. Definitely with your friend. If you go alone, you will find yourself hiding in the bathroom all night. I've done that too. Just remember, as soon as you've put in your time and said your "pleasantries," you can leave. If you have to lie by saying you have somewhere else to be because people are too insensitive to understand the truth, then you have to lie. Then go see a doctor and get some medication to help with this disease. Good luck. I know how you're feeling right now... =/
2006-12-21 09:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by Venice Girl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋