my hubby gives in to his grown children all the time. it does not matter what i say..he gave his oldest son a cell phone and he ran the bill up to 700.00 in one month! we took the phone..this was 2 years ago...this year we gave his other child a cell phone and he is doing really well and not going over his minutes...now the other son wants another cell phone...i said NO! but i over heard my hubby talking to him and saying he could not do it that night that he would do it in the morning!!what should i do if he was talking about a cell phone i do know that if ups comes here with one i'm sending it back!! who thinks i'm right??? help!!!!
2006-12-21 08:25:56 · 28 answers · asked by melissa m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
relax,
give the guy a chance,
may be this time he will be more reasonable.
Do not be so confrotational... they are his children, he loves them very much.... try to be more subtle...
2006-12-21 08:28:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
there are two options :
1. let him give the son a cell phone but make it clear that if he gives the son a cell phone that the child is responsible for paying any extra charges that come up, because if he is old enough for a cell phone, then he is old enough to pay for whatever charges he puts on that bill. Tell your husband that the sons will learn how to be resonsible this way.
2. Tell your husband no, and remind him of what happend last time he let this happen, and how much of a financial and credit strain this put them through. His money is just as much yours as you and him are married and he needs to remember that your opinion matters also, and that there should be no behind the back moves, if he makes a decision, it needs to include you too, otherwise it is a sort of betrayal.
Consider these options but dont be made to look like a door mat either, remember marriage is a partnership also. good luck
2006-12-21 09:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's probably not the best thing to do. Sending the phone back may just make the situation worse.
I would accept the phone but instead of giving it to the kid I would talk it over with your husband first. Set up some rules that the kid must follow in order to keep the phone. Then approach him together as a united front and lay out the rules to him. If he agrees then he may have the phone on a probationary basis. The first time he goes over by even one minute, thats it!
The important thing is for you and your husband to stick together and enforce the rules. Also, it has been 2 years and the kid may have matured enough to handle the responsibility.
2006-12-21 08:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate more with your husband--you are both undermining each other by contradicting each other. Tell him that if he thinks it might be a good idea to give your son a cell phone again, he needs to explain to you why and talk to you about it so that you can come to a compromise. He may think that now that your son is older, he will be more responsible with his cell phone.
Maybe instead of no phone at all, you could give the son a phone with a set number of minutes, and when the minutes are up no more calls (besides emergency calls) can be made.
Good luck :)
2006-12-21 08:32:01 · answer #4 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like to me that the two sons are not your sons. You are a step mother to them. I hope that is correct because it is in this light that I'm going to answer your question.
I think it is ridiculous that a parent is paying for a cell phone for adult children. They should not be mooching off him. But, they are his kids; so it is his decision.
If these kids were both of yall's - that is, you gave birth to his sons; then I would say, this is an issue you and your husband should work out between you in private and then pass along a single decision on to the kids.
But, if these are not your kids; then it is not your business.
By stepping in between his kids and him you make yourself into an evil step-mother figure needlessly.
2006-12-21 08:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by krinkn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband to supply you with his son's new phone number and give him a call.
Let him know the mistake he made before really upset you and your husband.
Then urge him to be more aware of his minutes and SHOW him how he can check his minutes on his new phone.
...You don't want to put a wedge between your husband and son, so grow some wisdom and show his son how happy you are that his father gave him a second chance.
Best of luck.
2006-12-21 08:47:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are married then you should be able to talk about things like that and even if your not married it still applies that you should talk things threw, but then it depends on his personality as well you could tell him what you think and he could go mad at the fact that your 'telling him how to raise his children' it really is a hard thing to deal with he is wrong to give his children whatever they want especially if there adult, if he split from his first wife/the children's mother then that might be why he wants to give them everything. all i can suggest is that you talk to him if his kids are working then sort something out so that they pay there own way and if ther not its good for them to get a job lay out some rules about how much money you give them and when and why they get things bought for them, they will never be able to cope when they leave home if they've no idea how to pay there own way. good luck sorry i can't be more help x
2006-12-21 08:40:29 · answer #7 · answered by Hazel_Divine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a second chance with the phone. If he runs the bill up again, either take the phone away again and tell him he can have a cell phone when he can afford it, or make him pay the bill.
2006-12-21 08:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by Maverick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deserves a second chance. If the son messes up and goes over his minutes again, then I think your hubby will probably have no choice but to take the phone away again... this time, for good.
2006-12-21 08:27:55 · answer #9 · answered by LGT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One major thing about being married that I have watched with my own parents is --- the importance of parents sticking together and supporting decisions jointly. I would sit your hubby down and have a little chat about how it contradicts authority if you say no and he says yes. Both of you should jointly agree to compromise --- like a cellphone with a set number of prepaid minutes.
2006-12-21 08:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by Ilovedhim! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not your son don't come between
the two and return the phone. You and
your husband need to sit down and learn
to communicate each other's feeling and
wishes better.
If you do come between the two you will
be doing much more harm then you think.
2006-12-21 08:30:18 · answer #11 · answered by Semaj S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋