wasn't even aware I was pregnant. At my best guess I was around 1 1/2 to 2 months along. My cycle last month was way lighter then normal but my mood swings were ridiculous. and then a few weeks ago I had a cycle that was way out of time with a strange reddish-brown color . I wasn't even close to time but my birth control had done that before (when I first started a few years back) so it didn't occur to me that anything was wrong. After about a week of thinking it occured to me I might have been pregnant. I went to the clinic (no insurance) and they confirmed that there were signs of a miscarriage in my bloodwork and an exam (thankfully it was complete so there are no further complications seeing as it took me a full week to realize anything)
My question now is...how do I tell my husband? We weren't trying to get pregnant, we're not ready to have kids AT ALL!!! But he didn't even know I was pregnant. How do I tell him with out shocking the hell out of him?
2006-12-21 07:55:21 · 13 answers · asked by bubb1e_gir1 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My suggestion is you wait until you feel it's the right time but don't wait to long because he is your husband and communication is very important and just sit him down and start by saying baby I have something to tell you and just say it . I'm very sorry for your lost and when the time is right you and your husband can sit down and talk about having a child god bless.
2006-12-21 08:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by Ebony 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear you had a miscarriage; but as you point out in your note, you are not ready at this time. I'm glad you went to the clinic and made sure you are healthy.
Now, on to your question. You'll be interested to know that the majority of conceptions end in the first few months before the fertilized egg has even had a chance to implant (something like 70%, I read this years ago and I don't remember the source, but I remember being blown away by that number)
I think you can tell him just as you told us - in a very straightfordward way. He will be surprised, but he'll be happy to know you are all right and have already looked into this with your Dr. I'm sure he will be concerned for you.
This will be a good opportunity for you guys to start talking about kids and start planning the steps you might want to take to prepare for one.
In a way, it is good you guys got this warning. You're obviously both healthy and fertile; you could easily get pregnant again even using your birth control. He might want to start using a condom for a while just as another layer of birthcontrol .
Good luck - invite us all to your baby shower when the time comes.
2006-12-21 16:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by krinkn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK the same thing happened to me but i was 15 years old and the guy and i were actually trying to have a baby and now four years later he and i are married and still trying to have a baby well you have to sit him down and let him know but make sure that he is not extremely happy or extremely sad when you tell him because that can have long lasting effects
2006-12-21 16:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by leespitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be able to handle that news, especially if no baby is on the way (assuming that that is NOT what the two of you want at this time). He needs to hear that news and be supportive to you because this was not easy on you either. If he is not able to handle that, he has a selfish streak that needs to be addressed before you do have kids.
2006-12-21 15:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by Bob T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good marriage and can be open and honest about everything you should tell him. Things happen for a reason and he deserves to know. It dont matter if you were ready or not he needs to know. Honesty is everything in a marriage. Good luck and I am so sorry it happened. Just remember things happen for a reason.
2006-12-21 16:06:49 · answer #5 · answered by colee97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell him. No birth control is fool proof, there is always a chance you can get pregnant. I would be more concerned as to why you miscarried, you should probably see a doctor and see if there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
2006-12-21 16:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't top Kelly's advice, but will add that I am sorry. And I hope that when you are ready for children everything goes well.
2006-12-21 15:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by tantiemeg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is really your friend he can feel that you are worried. That could be an opening for you to simply ask for his guidance . It is great to share your fears and joys.
2006-12-21 16:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by nischal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kelly B got it right on!
i am sorry for what happened to you, but i am sure your husband loves you and will understand and comfort you..
2006-12-21 16:09:17 · answer #9 · answered by goldenheartcity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sit him down and tell him the exact thing you just told half the world. be honest and open and encourage him to do the same.
2006-12-21 15:58:05 · answer #10 · answered by Kelly B 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋