I wasn't even aware I was pregnant. At my best guess I was around 1 1/2 to 2 months along. My cycle last month was way lighter then normal but my mood swings were ridiculous. and then a few weeks ago I had a cycle that was way out of time with a strange reddish-brown color . I wasn't even close to time but my birth control had done that before (when I first started a few years back) so it didn't occur to me that anything was wrong. After about a week of thinking it occured to me I might have been pregnant. I went to the clinic (no insurance) and they confirmed that there were signs of a miscarriage in my bloodwork and an exam (thankfully it was complete so there are no further complications seeing as it took me a full week to realize anything)
My question now is...how do I tell my husband? We weren't trying to get pregnant, we're not ready to have kids AT ALL!!! But he didn't even know I was pregnant. How do I tell him with out shocking the hell out of him?
2006-12-21 07:47:34 · 7 answers · asked by bubb1e_gir1 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all let me say, I'm very sorry for your loss. Even though you say you weren't ready for children, this is still a loss nonetheless.
I don't imagine there's any easy way to tell him, but just start by telling him what happened. Tell him just like you told us, and the clinic confirmed what happened.
I don't suspect he will be upset with you or anything so you really shouldn't be worried. Another thing, most of us are never really ready to have children.... :)
I wish you all the best.
2006-12-21 07:59:10 · answer #1 · answered by favrd1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to tell him, but if you feel you need to....approach him when he's not busy...like just after dinner one night just before getting up to do dishes and just be honest with him. Tell him that you had an unusually occurance with your period so you went to the doctor/clinic and they told you that you had been pregnant and that you miscarried. Re- assure him you are fine and things between you are not different but you thought you should tell him. The start the dishes or move onto a normal activity. He may or may not want to talk about it. This way and can choose to discuss it or not. He is your husband and I'm sure things will be fine.
2006-12-21 15:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by honey20_30115 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid, first of all. This is common. Spontaneous abortions can occur in something like 80% of pregnancies in the first month and a half and many before the mother is even aware she is pregnant. I would, first of all, be more careful about using protection if you are not ready for kids, and second, sit down with him, calmly, and let him know what happened.
Again, this is perfectly normal, but if you aren't ready to have kids, don't wait to dodge the bullet again: use protection! But you knew that! If there is nothing else wrong with you, he should have nothing to worry about.
2006-12-21 15:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by celestraof12worlds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you really need to tell him, unless you feel it could happen again then you might want to mention it so you can figure out if you need a different method of birth control. I have had 2 miscarrages, I new i was pregnant both times and it was very upsetting. But take heart in knowing that statistics say that about 75% of all sexually active women have had at least one miscarrage and don't even know it, or didn't know they were prenant before it happened.
2006-12-21 15:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by rose_calhoun23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same thing happened to me about 3 years ago i got pregnant, my bc failed do to being on an antibiotic, and didnt know i was pregnant, had a miscarriage, went to the doc they confirmed, thats what it was. I told my husband simply, I was pregnant, and now I'm not. The birth control failed there wasnt anything we could have done differently to prevent me getting pregnant or anything we could have done to prevent me having a miscarriage.
He accepted that better than i accepted the fact that it happened. He was fine with what I told him.
Good luck
2006-12-21 15:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by KTINA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him straight out and be as "matter of fact" as you can because the upsetting part would be any emotional conveyance he might read from you.
If you feel comfortable, incorporate a smile or laugh and playfully tell him that y'all need to be more careful.
Your desire to avoid shocking him will have everything to do with how you present the news to him when you tell him.
2006-12-21 15:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by Chick-A- Deedle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him relax and be calm then say I would tell him I got pregnant on my birth control and I had a miscarriage.
2006-12-21 15:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by Monet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋