Recently my friend has become very withdrawn. He is normally a very happy lively person but recently he has been acting differently. I know he has had issues with his sexuality and i just fear he is beating himself up inside. ive tried speaking to him but he continuously tells me there is nothing wrong. He is a great guy and i wish that if he thinks he is gay he would tell me. I just dont know what to do to make him happier. Im not so good at giving advice. Anyone got any suggestions?
2006-12-21 07:47:27 · 10 answers · asked by kringle 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
P.S - i myself am gay. dont know if that makes a difference.
2006-12-21 07:55:34 · update #1
Just be there for him. Let him vent his feelings when he's ready. If you yourself are gay you KNOW from experience what a hard desicion it is to come out of the closet so to speak. Just be sure to remind him that no matter what you have his back. Your a good friend for the simple fact that you see something is wrong and want to do something so you get a big high five from me on that. But like I said, make it clear you're there for him and let him come to you when he's ready. Good luck!
2006-12-21 07:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by preciseonegirl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he's withdrawn and quiet doesn't mean he's struggling with his sexuality at the moment. He could just be under a lot of stress or it could be S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder)
Don't push him to talk to you, that will only exaserbate the problem, whatever it may be. Just let him know that if he needs someone to talk to, he can count on you. Then let it go.
My son's a naturally moody person. He's usually outgoing and extroverted, but he has his moments of seeming sullen or stressed and so he becomes quiet which people mistake as withdrawn. He figures out what he needs to do and usually comes out of it fairly quickly. Sometimes he comes to me and just says "Mom, I really need to talk to you" and I'm always there for him...I let him vent his frustrations, help him come up with solutions and let him act upon his best convictions.
He's a teenager, so moments like that are normal and usually pass rather quickly.
2006-12-21 16:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not good at all it reminds me of how I had got with myself I was self-destructive, depressed and distance myself from my gay friend. My friend never asked me if I was gay but he knew because one day he came over and we were talking and he mentioned something to me about coming out and I just listened and didn't respond. I could not utter the words I'm gay, It was really hard for me to say it and I remember practicing in the mirror and I used to say i'm going to come out, i want to come out. The coming out process is really hard.
2006-12-21 16:19:30 · answer #3 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, are u gay? If so, just loudly (jokingly) yell "IM GAY TOO! So what's the problem?" Seriously. I did that when i was at a friends house. She had been goin through a lot and she hadnt come out to anybody, but i KNEW. And one day she just started crying and i yelled it out! It actually made her laugh. lol. And then she poured everything out to me. It made her feel so much better.
And if u arent gay...ummm...im not sure what advice 2 give. Maybe he needs to talk to someone who is.
2006-12-21 15:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Raynebow_Diva 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Coming out is something we must do on our own terms. I am not out all the way myself. I know no one will CARE that I'm gay, but whether or not they care is not the reason I am still hidden. It's about how comfortable I am, not them. Wait until he's ready.
2006-12-21 17:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by Autumn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps, you should turn the tables. Tell him that you have had thoughts, curiosities about the same sex. See if opens up to you then. If he doesn't perhaps it is something else that is bothering him.
If he does, then be there for him, it's hard coming out. Not as bad as previous years. But still hard.
2006-12-21 15:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by fish011481 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him tell u when hes ready and dont push 2 hard or he will distance himself from u
2006-12-21 15:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by theocluvver 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you are concern and all one needs to do is wait until he opens up to you. Just keep being his friend as if nothing is wrong and help him to overcome any hurt and perhaps this will help him better.
2006-12-21 17:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know you are concerned about his unhappiness and are there for him. Good luck.
2006-12-25 15:01:30 · answer #9 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to let him know that you're there for him, and if he wants to talk, then he will. You can't force him to talk to you. Just be supportive.
2006-12-21 15:50:35 · answer #10 · answered by bpsfm_2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋