i dont have a lot of real friends because I have high standards when it comes to a definition of a real friend. so even when i go out and have fun, when i get home, i feel lonely. i do actually know two girls i really like and they make quite good friends, i could say, but they live in another town and we can't afford to visit each other on a regular basis.
how can i just be happy in my own company and not depend on others for emotional comfort
thanx
2006-12-21 07:46:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Do you have any hobbies that you can do when no one's around? Find people who are interested in the same hobby so you can talk with them.
2006-12-21 07:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by Claire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Human beings are naturally social creatures. So the fact is that you really CAN'T be happy by depending on your own company all the time. Some lone time once in awhile is healthy and good, but if you want to live your life that way, you'll never be happy.
The best thing you can do is to work on developing healthy relationships. Develop a healthy and reasonable standard for making friends. You are not perfect. Stop expecting your friends to be. Get out and get involved in things that you are interested in. Volunteer to do charity. Join a club. The more people you meet while doing things you are interested in, the more likely you'll meet friends that you have something in common with. Treat others with warmth and respect, and they will do the same to you. That is how you make friends.
And if you are depressed, get help! Nothing turns others off of you quicker than if you are a big downer to hang around. Plus, depression hurts your esteem and lowers your motivation, making it that much harder to do the things you need to do to be happy. See a doctor and talk to them about how you feel. Get some exercise, eat right, and get medication if necessary. This will improve your mood, and again increase the odds that you'll make more and better friends.
In the end, you reap what you sow. If you want good friends, then you'll need to be a good friend. In the meantime, take comfort in the fact that things can always get better. All you have to do is put in the effort.
2006-12-21 15:54:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your standard of a true friend might be a roadblock to you. I understand that their are all kinds of people who pretend to be a friend, and just use or abuse you. But could it be that there is a built up level of suspicion that has built a wall around you that is causing your loneliness? Perhaps there is a humility thing going on that says maybe you're not that good of a friend to others?
All I know is that to make friends, you've got to be a friend. And the more loyal a friend you are, the more loyal friends you'll have. Friends need to be cultivated too. A first acquaintance does not necessarily make a good friend. It's somewhat like dating. Possibilities arise regularly, but there are usually more misques than developed relationships. Spending time with those who show possibilities for friendship, develops that friendship.
If all you really want is to withdraw into yourself, and content yourself with your own company, I doubt that you'll ever totally banish loneliness from your life.
2006-12-21 16:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could tell you.
I'm one of those people that IS content with my own company. I watch movies, do whatever I want on the computer, and write (almost to the exclusion of all other things).
I would actually RATHER be holed up in my room than out with others. Not that I don't have friends and family, I do, I just choose not to socialize.
Oh yes, and I agree with Nicki D: get a cat. I have a grumpy old fat one but I love her:)
And don't listen to Evil Spoon. You CAN be happy alone.
2006-12-21 16:03:08 · answer #4 · answered by Voodoid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess honestly you just deal with yourself more than anything become more self sufficent in many ways like relying on people or wanting to talk to somone i mean i kinda have the same perspective as you but i dont know
it's complicated
so i guess the best thing to do is not think of the friends you dont have apreceiate what u do have change ur train of thought at least i try to sometimes
2006-12-21 15:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by rm4real 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do something that you find meaningful when you're alone. It's hard to say exactly what that would be because different people find different things meaningful. Things that are meaningful are more "filling" to your being and last longer than a good time. They help you appreciate the peace you have when you are alone, since they give you a sense of fulfullment.
2006-12-21 17:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by Mark W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dog is a good friend. I think all people have the basic need to connect and rely on others for emotional comfort.
2006-12-21 15:49:20 · answer #7 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I accept and believe that it is better to have NO company (be lonely) than to have BAD company (people who are destructive to you in one way or another).
Of course it would be great to have GOOD company, but that's very hard to find in American society.
2006-12-21 23:33:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a cat. They are very affectionate and they can sense when someone is feeling lonely or down. Cats are very comforting. Good luck!
2006-12-21 15:55:41 · answer #9 · answered by *NuBCaKe* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a hobby, and let down your guard a little. there are a lot of great people that you just have to get to know.
2006-12-21 15:57:00 · answer #10 · answered by Sammee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋