Well last weekend my ex husband meet my new boyfriend ...and ever since he's been calling me and telling me how ugly he thinks my boyfriend is..He tells me that he can't belive i'm being with someone that looks like that ... Now i know my boyfriend is no Brad Pitt but i know he's not a fugly looking @ssface like my ex makes him sound...Now i don't think his new girlfriend is pretty at all but i don't call him to talk bad about her..In no way i'm i trying to compete to see who has the best looking bf or gf...He also told me how everyone tells him how pretty his new gf is and how he is lucky to have a gf as pretty as her..For some reason my feelings are really hurt..Most of the time i don't care what he has to say but i'm feeling really emotional about this..How can i stop feeling like this and what can i do or say to my ex about his..By the way i have to pick up the phone when he calls because we have two kids together
2006-12-21 07:40:22 · 17 answers · asked by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like he's a little bent over the fact you have a new boyfriend. It also sounds like he's trying his best to get you jealous of his new girlfriend. Just remember, ex's are ex's for a reason. Now you're seeing one of those reasons. Don't be hurt by what he says. That's what he's trying to do. It's what you think about your boyfriend that counts. Who cares what the ex thinks.
It's hard to start a new life after being married. Don't let your ex bring you down. Show him you can have a good life without him.
2006-12-21 07:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't take that kind of crap from your ex. He's sounds extremely stupid and childish and is basically having a pissing contest with himself. Apparently he's making himself better by belittling you and your boyfriend.
Don't waste your time having a conversation with him about it, or talking it out with him....unless he does this in front of your children then that's just plain disrespectful.
Even though you have to talk to him about the kids, the minute he brings up your boyfriend end the conversation. Don't even give him the satisfaction of acknowledging his childish behavior because that's what encourages it. Remember he's either not going to be interested in volleying all that ammo if he's not doing any damage or it's going to make him nuts. So don't give him the power, take it away by refusing to even be party to the conversation.
Of course it hurts your feelings, you are only human and it's because it's just plain mean and not nice. Just remember he's the jack@ss and he's probably not as smug or happy as he appears to be.
Kudos to you for not bad mouthing his girlfriend. Next time he tells you how great she is, tell him you're happy for him.
2006-12-21 08:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by hw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God and I thought that I was the only one who was experiencing something like this and my ex-husband hasn't even met my bf yet...lol... My ex-husband has been living with some girl for a while now and I think even prior to our divorce being finalized. Anyway, recently he has been trying to have a friendship type of thing with me and I thought that was fine and dandy but once he found out about someone I am seeing, that's all he wants to talk about and it drives me nuts. He'll try to talk about the car that the guy drives, how he probably is ugly because I don't want them to meet, and many other negative things. I mean the extent to which he goes on about it is ridiculous and I find it very annoying because he is with someone else and I don't understand completely why he feels the need to belittle this new guy or just even care for that matter if he's moved on and with someone else. I have thought long and hard about this one and I think it may have something to do with his trying to boost his own ego because he either a.) realized you've moved on b.) is comparing himself to the new guy (and is most likely feeling insecure or inadequate over the fact that you might actually have found someone better) or c.) he's simply put jealous. I also don't understand why it bothers me so much but I guess in my view, it's like a blow to the face like he's saying I can't do better then him or something and it drives me up a wall because the thing is looks (and in my case dealing with my ex possessions) are not everything and I don't see why he needs to build himself up by trying to bring me down. I presume after being divorced that he would be able to a lil more mature then he was during our marriage but apparently not. He knows how to get under my skin and now he is almost turning this new guy against me by constantly putting him down (if that makes sense). You just have to realize that this new guy must be really good or else your ex wouldn't be trying so hard to turn you away from him with his jealous words. Your ex is immature and can't handle the fact that you are no longer pining away over him and have met someone decent and new so his new attempt is to belittle and pick this guy apart so that you are not happy with him and so he can try and make himself look better. It is considerably hard to listen to but if you don't write it off for what it actually is (jealousy, insecurity, immaturity, etc) then it is going to keep bothering you and might even take its toll on your relationship with the new guy, which was going good up until this guy came in and started being a douche. Good luck and one way I started to keep my ex quiet was to ask him if he was jealous or something every time he brings the new guy up. Take care :)
2006-12-21 07:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is obviously hurt that you have a new boyfriend. Why else would he try to convince you how ugly your new love is? You're lucky to be rid of this jerk. You'll have to deal with him since you have kids together but be the bigger person. When he mentions how ugly your new boyfriend is, just keep saying what a kind, loving, man he is.
2006-12-21 07:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as long as you let it bother you he will continue to try to hurt you. so what if he doesn't think your new bf is good looking, he isn't dating him you are. there is a reason he is an ex right? well if he has nothing to say about the kids and all he wants to do is try to hurt you don't stay on the phone. Simply say I have to go bye. A man will only do what you allow him to do. If you allow him to hurt you he will.
2006-12-21 07:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are happy to discuss your children, but nothing else. Why do you care what he thinks of your new guy? Your ex doesn't matter at all anymore, except that he fathered your children.
Set your boundary with him about discussing only the children and if he breaches that boundary, then hang up the phone.
2006-12-21 07:44:02 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's insecure and is trying to make himself feel better. He should just be happy he has a gf and focus his efforts on that. Think about why anyone would have to say something, its bc they have some insecurity within them. People that are confident, and secure of themselves don't bring others down to feel better, they just know it in how they act and carry themselves.
2006-12-21 07:50:55 · answer #7 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my ex called me continuously to talk trash about my bf, how ugly and short he is, whatever (I think he is very handsome) When he asked me "How could you be with someone like that?"I told him "You may not think he's much to look at, but the sex is incredible!" Mean? Yes. Did he deserve it? Definitely.
2006-12-21 07:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have to like your new boyfriend. He only has to do the right thing by the kids.
So just ignore him. He's only trying to mess with your head
2006-12-21 07:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him to grow up.. or just stop taking his calls. and dont let him get to you. its more important how u feel about your new boyfriend. not what your ex thinks of him.
2006-12-21 07:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by kute_regina_gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋