I'm ready to move on and start fresh. Had 8 good years of marriage, but last two have not been the same. I can't seem to get my feelings for her back. I think she'll be hurt when I tell her, she knows and admits there's problems, but she seems to ignore them. We have one 11 year old daughter.
2006-12-21 06:57:54 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage in forever. Go to counseling stop being so selfish and work this out.
2006-12-21 06:59:33 · answer #1 · answered by lilmama 4 · 5⤊ 5⤋
Remember your vows for better or worse. Have you violated your vows by inviting someone else in? This is why you can't get those feelings back you have given them away to someone else. What if she did that to you. How would you feel? What comes around goes around I'm afraid this is true. Are you not attracted to her any more, does she annoy you, is she not giving you sex and respect you deserve. What if you got married and if you got a divorce you would have to remove your penis. I bet you wouldn't be so quick to bale you would work it out becausse you had no choice.The think with marriage now is if it does't feel right and not easy, and smooth I just don't want to do this any more.Your daughter will be so disappointing and unstable, because you are suppose to protect the most important women in your life. I know how you feel it's very difficult to try to regain what you once had are wanted. Marriage is about creation, creativity. Love is what you create your living in a fantasy world if you don't do this. The next women seem more appealing, but asa you get to live with her and business and kids it will all turn into the same thing. You love your wife because God said love everyone,but your not in love any more because maybe she and you started a life together and life is just like a business, up and downs, disagreements and agreements etc, but through all of that you want the greatest business on earth you want to be successful at it. God bless you I hope that God leads you and guides you and help you through this.He is the only one than can help you now.
2006-12-21 07:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick it out. You will be surprised if you do this for your daughter if nothing else.
NASA doesn't give up on astronauts when there is a problem. They will do anything to keep them alive and safe. Why should a parental relationship be treated any differently.
Put yourself in your child's place. She will think it was her fault that daddy is leaving and breaking up the family.
Put your heart, mind and soul into what you are doing. It's no longer just about you.
2006-12-21 07:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by Rowdy Yayhoot 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you gone to counseling? Just because the spark is gone doesn't mean you don't love her anymore. It is remarkably hard to fall out of love. Love can change, but rarely goes away entirely. That's not to say you really don't love her. But for everyone involved, try counseling first. Maybe a trial separation is in order. Get away from the same ol same ol and see how much (if at all) you miss her.
2006-12-21 07:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Men and women who make such statements are cowards. Who told you that marriage promises a live happily every after. Regardless where you took your vows in a church or in court, did you even understand what you were repeating or just as an idiot repeated word for word. Every marriage goes through such time, but men with dignity and integrity face the problems and don't run away from them. What type of an example are you setting up for you 11 years old daughter that if the going gets tough QUIT. Bravo, my hats off to you. You don't have to tell her anything just RUN away she will get the message. There was something you felt that made you want to marry her, try to find that lost feeling. You are a lost man and without your family you will be lost forever.
2006-12-21 07:26:11 · answer #5 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Try 8 more years and see what you get!!A 19 year old daughter that new it was tough, but Mom and Daddy stayed in it for the long hall! A better stronger marriage,come on later in life you'll be able to laugh at this. Let me share this with you wi091000, think...
now if the good times out weigh the bad you are definitely a keeper! Hang in there big guy."
2006-12-21 07:18:57 · answer #6 · answered by hot chocolate 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Spend some time apart. Go on a vacation so your daughter doesn't wonder where you are. But don't go some place crazy and exciting like Vegas... go some place relaxing with one of your close MARRIED buddies.
Go sight seeing, go to parks and museums and look at art and culture to get a better appreciation of life and people.
2006-12-21 07:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by kdaofficeninja 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
to be honest couples do get bored of one another and the passion they once had has gone staile, you gotta tell her because its just gonna get worse then it already is. 8 years is a long time and i know some people who do have a great marriage and last 20 years or more, but some ppl just need a little boost, try not to let you little girl get stuck in the middle please, what you must do is sit her down and explain whats going on and only you two can decide from there whats gonna happen to your guys marriage. take a long walk, go out for dinner, do something romantic, bring back some spice into your love life with her go on a mini vacation together you domt know for sure if you lost the love for her unless you try, you both can make it work think about what made you fall in love with her, and how she made you feel at the time try to bring that back and if not then you both should just call it a day
good luck to both of you, and your little one
2006-12-21 07:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
When you say "love" do you mean lust?? Because there is a BIG difference between loving someone and lusting after them. I would utilize counseling before opting to leave... especially because there is a child involved. However, if you are CERTAIN... than I suppose the only thing that you can do is be honest. it will probably crush her... divorces tend to do that to people... but what choice do you have if you've already made up your mind? Just remember... the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the hill. Marriages, ALL marriages, have ups and downs... and you did take vows to ride those out... did you not?
2006-12-21 07:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by AngelBaby 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yahoo is the wrong place for this answer (sort of like seeking heart surgery via the internet)... but, the realities are that you give little info on where this is coming from. As a shrink, I'd advice marital therapy first, and not as a last ditch effort (most couples go there to justify the divorce and that they tried everything). This is too critical to leave up to the number of well intentioned at times, but very mislead people that typically respond to this stuff.
2006-12-21 07:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I totally understand what you're saying, but, Dr. Phil said once, "Try EVERYTHING before you walk away; so if it doesn't work out, at least you tried everything." or something like that. Dude, try a marriage therapist, they can work wonders with one little sentence.
Give it the old college try before you bail. If it still doesn't work, then bail. And for pete's sake don't do it over Christmas.
2006-12-21 07:11:24 · answer #11 · answered by Ade 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋