do u like this poem? feedback please?

Question

Rebirth

Returning home for rebirth
a young soldier
who has seen the unspeakable
yet wants to tell that he is broken
for the time that slips into silence
for everyone else are a scream to him
pounding louder than his pulse
he can’t seem to find anymore
not sure if this is life or death
the distinction cannot be felt
those around stare carefully
cover fear with concern
he is untouchable now
skin covered in his mind
by the burns that scorched his soul
open pores taking too much in
struggling to make sense
of the life bent into his knuckles
the present and the before
he wants to unwrap yesterday
he wants to go back in time and run away
they drill ideas of democracy and freedom
into his mind when he begins to scream “why?”
The hands of a killing machine
cannot kill the enemy of self
for souls last he knows beyond body
for he sees ghosts going in and out of this world

his father sits in the musky basement
his son’s head on his lap

struck by the stillness of his boy’s skin
wishing that his soul too will find such peace
afraid to leave, afraid to scream, afraid he wake
his son from a peaceful dream
the seven stages that we move through
to be healthy and do all the things you’re suppose to
to say good by and reemerge victorious
over that which was supposed to break your soul
but the only that can console is his boy
returning home for rebirth

Answer 1

I, personally thought, that was a great poem with much feeling and depth. I disagree with the other one that answered saying poems too need punctuation, because when you feel that much emotion there is no punctuation.....very well versed my friend, keep up the good work, oh and by the way, if I might ask, is this just something you read about or something you have been through yourself? Just curious?

Answer 2

poems need punctuation, too. you've basically shown us one very long sentence.

edit:
Well, not to quibble, but the responder below me is wrong. Poems need punctuation. Where do I stop if it has no periods or commas? If you're really a writer, you know that you need punctuation.
For instance,
Those around stare carefully,
Cover fear with concern;
He is untouchable now.
Versus the original; a part of one very long sentence. Add punctuation and it becomes readable.
Like this, here:
Skin covered in his mind
By the burns that scorched his soul.
That's one sentence. The selection above is not one sentence. How do I know that if you don't punctuate?!

Answer 3

great.