I have just discovered I have a physical condition, not life threatening, but it will get worse and affect my looks. I am in love with a man I'm not married to. He is married too and loves me. I have a loving husband who is good to me now but hasn't always been. I just can't feel the way I should about him. I know there are many who have it worse than me but I'm so depressed I feel I don't want to live. I can't seem to function. I'm still in my robe at 1:30 pm. Am I selfish to feel this way? I don't even know why I'm asking this question. I feel I'm losing my grip.
2006-12-21 05:28:54 · 9 answers · asked by crazywoman88 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Okay, to all - I am not running around with a married man. I said I'm in love with him and he's in love with me. We are not having a physical affair. We have known each other a long time but we have never touched each other. I have not committed physical adultery. We have no control over how we feel. Neither of us will leave our spouses but we will love each other always.
2006-12-21 05:52:07 · update #1
Oh, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It must be tough, especially in a love triangle. I think you need to sit down and analyze your life. Talk to someone, whether it is your husband, a therapist, a doctor, a good friend, or just somebody who will listen. I dont think you are all that selfish, but I do know you should get help. I hope you feel better
2006-12-21 05:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by goober 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work on the depression first. Take one of the many depression tests on the net. You can get get free or low cost help if money is an issue. You should find out if it's something easy to fix. The sooner you do the quicker you 'll be over this. If you are depressed, neither your health or your will improve unless you do something. You don't have to tell any one, they'll notice the change in behavior before you do.
2006-12-21 13:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by lyyman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should quit running around behind your husbands back...dump the guy who has another wife. Just come clean and tell your husband about the affir and you will feel better. Even if you have to work things out and make up for running around...you will eventually feel better about yourself. You have deep hidden remorse / regret that is tearing away at you from the inside because you deep down know your not being true.
Plus, your husband married you for better or for worse...so if you stay in your current perdicerment the other guy will leave you cause he has nothing to loose...but if you change now and seek forgivness from your husband he will be there to comfort you in the longrun.
2006-12-21 13:41:11 · answer #3 · answered by DAVER 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a psychologist or counselor can help you sort out some of these issues and your feelings behind them. Do you or your husband have mental health insurance? Usually you can see a counselor for free for a few sessions. Good luck. Go ahead and get dressed, then go for a nice long walk. If it's too cold, go walk in the mall. Exercise can help clear the mind so you can more effectively figure out your situation.
2006-12-21 13:39:24 · answer #4 · answered by Christy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are selfish because you are seeing a married man. As far as feeling sorry for yourself, that is totally OK and natural, but only for a moment. Then, you have to get over it. Everyday I am grateful I am not a woman born in Saudi Arabia and have not stepped on a landmine. Then I have a good day. Feel better.
2006-12-21 13:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by Lonestar Girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not that physical condition, whatever it is, so don't identify yourself as that. Stop messing around on your husband with some married guy; it is all wrong. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen Christmas Eve.
If you don't make changes in your life, someone else will.
2006-12-21 13:41:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're not losing your grip. You're just seeking that attention you wanted to feel. Now that you're getting it both ways, your ego won't let go of them. Well put your foot down and let your egocentric biatch side of you know that you're taking control! Leave the other man and come back to your husband's embrace. Love him no matter what, accept his love under any circumstances :)
My prayers for you.
2006-12-21 13:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you see i might not help you very much but if you dont think you husbend is the right guy then you should maybe tell him ? or do something so speacial for him to make him feel he is the greatest man alive maybe that would help your relationship. or tell him you cant keep a secret for two long or maybe you can go on the maury show and then tell him, who knows how you can get on there but it is worth a try !
2006-12-21 13:40:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sexi Betch 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go shopping. That's sure to remedy your doldrums.
2006-12-21 13:37:21 · answer #9 · answered by Azathoth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋