Say you've subconsciously "blocked" a person because of something they did to you. Say you forgave them and are willing to move on, but you just can't get over the "block". Say you want to be "in love" again, and still do the outwardly loving things, but the raw unadulterated feeling of unconditional love and devotion is just not there. What about the feeling? Can you get it back? Is wanting that blissful feeling again having an immature, western view of love and marriage?
2006-12-21 05:09:30 · 20 answers · asked by lucypearl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my wife falls in and out of love with me on a daily basis deal with it
2006-12-21 05:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by mustang64093gt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the odds are pretty high it won't come back. In addition to the fact you've fallen out of love, which happens in 99% of all relationships even when the people involved didn't do anything bad to the other, it sounds like this person did something to you where you cannot trust them either. I've read the occasional therapy success story where people said they got past the betrayal and fell in love again, but none of my friends or family members have ever been able to retrieve this feeling once it's gone even when betrayal was not involved. Most hang in there for the long haul and just adjust to the not being in love feeling, but my sister for one refuses to settle for a relationship without it and is divorcing her husband of 11 years even though they have young children. If you don't have kids and are not married, I'd move on if I were you. If you're going to have to deal with the eventual fact that most of us fall out of love with everyone, at least you should be able to trust the person.
2006-12-21 05:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not yet really forgiven.
As far as the feelings of being 'in love' - those are romantically based and less prevalent after the initial discovery process in relationships. TRUE love grows and along with it feelings of romance from time to time........BLISS is earned, by going through the good and the bad, the challenges, the hard work, the joys and the pain and when you share that with someone you WILL feel blissful.
2006-12-21 07:38:14 · answer #3 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds more like conscious blocking.
If you can't get over the block (how long has it been?) then you might be wasting both your and his time trying to get that old feeling back. If you have been betrayed and are the kind of person that that is a definite deal-breaker, I say move on to someone who has that same value, otherwise your guy will just kill himself trying to get you to forgive him and you will never feel right in the relationship. Best of luck lucypearl.
2006-12-21 05:22:30 · answer #4 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you are commited to the other person and making it work, if you can really start over, and forgive and forget, then the love will be there. it will not come over night, but it will be there, and im not talking about the infatuation thing either, that is a chemical reaction to someone, usually someone new, so i doubt if you will get the butterflies in your stomach. you will feel a deeper more secure love. and if you don't, well hunny, you've already moved on.
2006-12-21 05:23:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place you don't "fall" out of or, into "love" it's not that simple and easy.
When I remember falling "in love" I kept thinking about the girls, she was on my mind every day. I saw her quite often but ignore her at first. Then after a few weeks I spoke with her. I then asked her top a dance. It was then about six months after I first saw her that I knew I was "In Love " with her. She said the same thing. This January we'll be married 49 years.
I have seen other woman that I admit made my heart patter but, not like this one.
2006-12-21 05:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is very hard to fall in love again. I felt out the love about two years ago, I still with my boyfriend because we have two kids together, but I'm not in love with him anymore. The reason for this I think is because people do not change. Obviously you felt out the love because you didn't like his ways, and his ways will never change.
2006-12-21 07:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by ism 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is possible to get those feelings back....as long as you remind yourself all the reasons you dont feel the spark anymore...you will never feel the spark. You have to realize the problem, and promise yourself that you truely want a happy marriage. Let go of all hard feelings and truely give it EVERYTHING you have. But be realistic...it will never be exactly the way it was when you first met.
2006-12-21 05:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you feel a block then you really have not forgiven this person. Sometimes we do forgive them in words, and try to make ourselves believe we have.... Sorry, maybe trying to forgave again and this person will have to win your trust back in order to free you of your block. Sometimes time does heal, but do you have that much time?
2006-12-21 05:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People fall in and out of love everyday. Even married couples go through ups and downs in regard to love. I think you need to make sure that you are not just falling back in love to be in love because you miss it. Love can't be forced and you should never settle.
2006-12-21 05:17:39 · answer #10 · answered by Love2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you honestly can. Sometimes we have to do the actions first, then the feelings will follow. Wanting that blissful feeling is not immature at all - it is what brings us joy.
2006-12-21 08:24:34 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋