Why do people at work try to get you to go on outings with them?

Question

After saying 'no thank you' for the umpteenth time, I thought I'd ask you guys for your views. Why is it that bosses in particular find it highly sociable to force you into 'social gatherings' in the form of meals, parties, or other activities which 9 times out of 10 only exist to provide an opportunity to kiss their a**? I'm fine with my dignity and current position and I really don't find using my private time in the company of people who you see for 3/4 or the time you are awake. I also am not fond of the overly camp ex-colleagues who attend just to gossip, rustle up rumors about people and make a point about their sexuality in almost every other comment. Surely it's a rather sad affair if people are not content enough with their own time as to spend it with people who really just don't gel with as a group anyway. Is it just me or what?

Answer 1

I have been asking myself that same question, i work on this department, where the women on there, are very two faced, then a work do was organised, and i thought to myself, if you dont give me time of day at work, why do you think i will use my personal time with them out of work? the next day people were like, why didnt you come out? i said no, i was tired, it was true id worked my *** off the previous day, i felt like i had to somehow justify myself to them

But then i thought who are these people to question me on any level? on the other hand these people are rude towards me, and dont show any sign of interest or respect for me as a human being, so i thought they can frig off!!

Basically i think people want to see you out of work as a means to see if you are anything like you are at work, people make pre conceptions on others, without ever getting to know that individual properley,so they use it as a weapon to see if you will change, if you have one too many drinks for example,

I think nights out with people who arent very nice to you at work, then have the front to ask you why you wont go out with them is completely illogical!!

Then again i think you mentioned people who kiss a**? im with you on that one, people who want to work their way up in a company, so it seems where i work, will spend the night at managers house, go out for a drink and generally suck up to, to get what they want!!

And as for the sexuality thing, these women are obsessed, i can guarantee the talk is about who s****** who, on a night out, and i have seen a vulgar side to their personality, they are also like this at work too, and i think to myself do you not have one ounce of decency, night outs are generally manipulated into a form of ridicule,

There are only a handful of people who i like at work,who have something about them and give me time of day, and i would happily spend my leisure time with, the ones who treat me like s**** in work hours, by ignoring me or being rude? stuff em, im not missing out on anything, they are missing out on me...

Answer 2

I didnt read the other answers, but i agree 100% I think its thoughtful to invite people, but i see these people 5 days a week 10 hrs a day! I don't mind going out to lunch every so often, but Afterhours is my time. I have Family & friends that i see less than co-workers and thats just wrong.
Everyone in Coporate knows thats there is more than enough time to bond during the 30 coffee breaks people take throughout the day.

Answer 3

The aim is to get to know each other and work better as a team and that is why the bosses try and get you out, and it isn't to "kiss their A#*"e". They are people just the same as you and while your out of the office enjoy having a laugh with them because you can get away with a lot more.

Stop being a Scrooge and get your butt out the office social events. maybe you would like them more after a few nights out

Answer 4

My boss tried to cattle-prod all of us onto last year's Christmas party. I still refused to go, despite his insistence that it was 'sending out a bad signal to the staff.' I spent a very nice evening in front of the TV and felt fine next morning. They all got hammered and made arses of themselves, woke up feeling lousy next morning and the back-biting went on for weeks. I dare anyone to tell me I made the wrong choice by deciding not to go.

To hell with it, I say. If you don't want to go then don't go. It's hardly a sackable offence and your boss has no right to try and force you.
My boss didn't even bother asking me this year. Good.

Answer 5

As a company, the workplace is far more efficient when coworkers feel at ease with each other. Everyone may not like each other, but open communications (not gossip) enrich work operations.

Answer 6

not just you i`m afraid, my boss tries every year to do that and he has to bussinesses and tries to get all the workers from both places to attend his idea of a xmas party when we are breaking up for the holidays, but mostly are woman who just want to get home to their husband and kids as there is a lot to do at this time of year. they don`t take no for an answer either and it is so irritating, you work with them but your private life is your own and as i say , maybe i have to work with them but i have my own circle of friends to go out with and that does not include them, have a lovely xmas

Answer 7

They want you in their camp so when backing up is needed they can count on you.Office politics for you, sooner or later you will have to join in one of the parties as no man is an island.There is no sitting on the fence

Answer 8

Some people can be alone without being lonely and are comfortable with silence.

Most people crave community. They are not comfortable with only their own thoughts to occupy them.

Answer 9

Have you ever thought , that they could be lonely and are just in need of some company ? On the other hand, They just might fancy you !!

Answer 10

I only ask the good looking girls out to my company do..I give the ugly ones a book token.