So yeah i did it?

Question

I kicked my signifigant other to the curb... and at the time it felt great . but now iam hurt and i dont know why the only thing we ever did was argue and all i wanted him to do was love me .... we cant stand one another. but why the pain? if anybody is getting a divorce or in the same situation please help how do you get by???

Answer 1

It hurts bad. Even when you hate them, it still hurts. The reason is? Because we tried, we were hopeful, we put all our energy into trying to change the relationship for the better, we invested time and each and every day of our lives are precious. And maybe the sex was real good. Sometimes when you fight with someone a lot, the sex is great! This gives us a false sense of what "love" feels like.
I don't know your whole story but I am sure that what you did was the right thing or you wouldn't have done that. So allow me to say, I am proud of you. I am proud that you had the courage and the self esteem to let him go, especially if he was not treating you right. Focus on the reasons why you let him go and that will make you feel better, but only a "little" better. It will take time before you are completely over him. You should keep yourself surrounded by friends and people you love and do something special for yourself.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

This is so over used but time does heal all wounds. I think that you are hurting not just because you lost your love but you feel like you have lost your best friend. He was the one person who probably new you best and that you were able to be open with about anything and everything. Loosing that is really hard to swallow. My hubby and I separated for a year and ended up working things out but what helped during that time was being able to be civil and still have a friendship sort of. If he needed to talk I would listen and vice versa even if it hurt it was still something. Best of luck to you and have faith that things will get better. Some people are better friends then lovers anyway, they just don't realize it.

Answer 3

Not being able to achieve the goal that you obviously wanted the relationship to go is a let down. Divorce is very hard, whether you do it on your own, or it's mutual. It's letting go a part of your life. Your emotions will be up and down, you'll get through it. Keep busy, go for a walk instead of crying or whatever. Keep busy and remind yourself why it didn't work and why you did kick them to the curb when you start getting sad.

Answer 4

We often do not realize what is in front of us until it is not there anymore. You're probably realizing there was a lot of good in your relationship but selfishness on both ends kept you from focusing on it. We get so wrapped up in trying to make our experiences just like we want them to be that we try to change our partners actions and thoughts and values instead of finding comfort in our differences and our options to work things out. Accept you needed to be much more yielding in your relationship and be different in your next relationship. Love is not dependant upon having the same views on anything. Love only needs willingness to let go of everything else for it to flourish. The pain is there because you are aware things could have been different. Acknowledge it and then be happy about how much you've grown from it. Loving yourself despite failures is the cure to pain.

Answer 5

I am not currently in the situation but have been in the past. If all you did is argue then it is a waste of time. Life is too short to be unhappy. You are feeling this way because you do love the person but just cannot live with them. Anytime you spend a part of your life with someone else it is hard to get over that you are losing that part. But, time will heal all wounds. You get by, by going to work or school. By talking with your friends. By possibly starting to date again when you feel capable. I recommend not to date too soon. You need time to get completely over this person. Spend time with yourself. Figure out exactly what you do not want. This way you will know better for your next relationship. You need to grieve, it is part of the healing process.

Answer 6

There is a period of mourning when relationships end, that's just how things work sometimes. I know EVERYONE says it, but for me, all that really worked was time. It got easier and easier every day.

Give yourself a break. What you're feeling is normal. You can get by by spending time with your closest friends and family. Also, when this happened to me I found that movement of any kind really helped. I went for walks, I went shopping, I cleaned my apartment.....anything to just MOVE. Maybe that would work for you.

Good luck!

Answer 7

you're in the mourning stage of the break up. whenever you start getting depressed, think of the reasons you are not together. remember the good and the bad but never forget why it's over. it's ok to mourn. maybe you can only be friends and not lovers. it's possible. but what ever you do you should let yourself heal before getting involved with someone esle. it's good to mourn and it does pass.

Answer 8

Of course you are in pain. That would be normal. You loved him once, or you wouldn't be married, now you are having to let go of that it will be painful. You will eventually get over it. This is just a bad time of year to have to go through this.

Answer 9

i know how you feel first of all. Ok you know how you said that you just wanted him to love you? Well thats a big part of your pain right now. you wanted things to be good between you two and this is what came of it. listen it will be rough at first but you'll realize that things happen for a reason.....even if you have to feel pain for a lil while.

Answer 10

Seperation anxiety. You become so accustomed to someone that when they are gone you miss them as though you lost a part of yourself.

It's normal, and is a part of getting over it, but don't confuse it for love or dependency. Stay firm to your decision, and trust your head back when it was clearer.