Following on from an earlier question, which English king was killed by a red hot poker up his jaksy?

Answer 1

Edward II of England

"It was later rumoured that Edward had been killed by the insertion of a piece of copper into his anus (later a red-hot iron rod, as in the supposed murder of Edmund Ironside), supposedly as a deserved end of a homosexual. It also supposedly had the added benefit that it would appear that the king had died a natural death; this is due to the fact that a metal tube was inserted into the rectum first, allowing the iron rod to penetrate the innards without leaving a burn on the anus. This rumour was elaborated in a much later history by Sir Thomas More:

'On the night of 11 October (1327 AD) while lying in on a bed [the king] was suddenly seized and, while a great mattress... weighed him down, a plumber's iron, heated intensely hot, was introduced through a tube into his secret parts so that it burned the inner portions beyond the intestines.' "
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Answer 2

According to some academics, the red-hot poker story has simply been circulated because of Edward II's known homosexuality. Some have suggested that he actually was killed by being smothered by a heavy door or sat on by 15 knights.

However, symbolically, the red-hot poker up his anus story wins as the most gory demise for the first English Prince of Wales.

If you click on the link below, you can take part in a poll on how you think the unfortunate monarch died.

Answer 3

We have a long legacy in this country of killing our top chaps in exciting ways.

It is rumoured that Edward II was killed by the insertion of a piece of copper into his anus, supposedly as a deserved end of a homosexual. It also supposedly had the added benefit that it would appear that the king had died a natural death; this is due to the fact that a metal tube was inserted into the rectum first, allowing the iron rod to penetrate the innards without leaving a burn on the anus. This rumour was elaborated in a much later history by Sir Thomas More:

"On the night of 11 October (1327 AD) while lying in on a bed [the king] was suddenly seized and, while a great mattress... weighed him down, a plumber's iron, heated intensely hot, was introduced through a tube into his secret parts so that it burned the inner portions beyond the intestines."

Edmund Ironside is also rumoured to have suffered the same fate but, my favourite is the First Duke of Clarence rumoured to have been drowned in a cask of Malmsey wine (what a way to go).

Answer 4

Edward II.

Although the first mention that this might have been the method of killing doesn't come until 60-odd years after the event. Also, as one scholar has pointed out, in order to keep it "secret", the conspirators are said to have put a pillow over his face to blot out the screams. Therefore, why didn't they just smother him in the first place?

Still, it's a great story ... (and I promise you that, if I have to teach about Edward II in my history lessons, I would *definitely* tell the kids about it).

Answer 5

It was definitely Edward II, but I prefer the reserved description of Schama, who said that Edward II died from "the insertion of a red hot poker up into his fundament," Oucheee!!!

Answer 6

As the McGonnigal would have written.....

it was Thirteen Hundred and Twenty Seven,
In Gloucestershire's Berkeley Castle.
They got a red hot rapier,
And they shoved it up his a*******

This was what they thought a fitting end for the Bisexual monarch, Edward II.

Answer 7

Edward II

Answer 8

You mean King Henry 2 a notorius gay imprisoned in the tower
and killed in what they thought was an apropriat way in September 1327. LOVE THE EXPRESSION BEST LAUGH IF HAD ALL WEEK, although i wouldnt think poor old henry would have agreed

Answer 9

It's true. It's on this site I spotted - along with some other amazing facts about Kings and Queens etc.
http://odd-balls.co.uk/kingsandqueens.htm

Answer 10

Edward II (allegedly, at least)
History in school would be way more interesting if they included these details...!