The child grew up right and was adopted but searched and found my daughter, who is a seller of drugs. The young woman now is selling drugs and using and living with characters she pays and upkeeps. My daughter wants her to stop. I suggested my daughter has to stop in order to set this right. My young granddaughter I haven't met but she is angry at her mom and her mom does not need to sell. She is living well without selling. Any advice on how to stop this. My words haven't had effect. No other child of mine has done this.
2006-12-21 04:10:39 · 9 answers · asked by nanbeloved 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
okay.. Young women come to me for mentoring... I call them 'daughters'. They are grown and already been taught an old way of dealing with their problems. I try to teach them a new way. I'm sometimes good at it and sometimes rather meddling. Eccentric and erratic somewhat. I spoke my mind, when my daughter didn't like being treated so. I told her to gain her daughter (who she lost at 4) to get clean. Do not have extra money. Be poor and need the granddaughter. The granddaughter is a caregiver. I stressed the granddaughter needed to be needed but that my 'daughter' must change this course. Ask her daughter to come and help with the laundry... not for rides to do drug deals. You all have given great answers... I will think on it more. Thanks... I hope I cleared that up. This has been going on a long time ... as this war.
2006-12-21 08:45:59 · update #1
Your daughter is not going to stop until she wants to. There is a reason she lost her daughter in the first place. If she has been selling long enough to for her daughter to grow up and start looking for her, the likelihood that she is going to stop is very slim.
2006-12-21 04:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can to is pray to God to change their heart and let them see the error of their ways.
As painful as it would be for me, if the grand-daughter is a minor, I would report the situation to Child Protective Services to have her removed because she will alway think is is ok to use and sell drugs as long as she has the poor example of a mother doing the same. If the girl is of age, there is not much you can do other than try to lead by the example of life that you would like for her to have.
Don't beat yourself up; kids turn out the way they do not only because what we do for them, but in spite of it and once they reach legal age, we have no control over them or what they do. The best you can do is set boundries and stick to them, don't loan money you know is going to drugs, don't pay bail, don't pay her bills because she spends her money on drugs...do so is not helping it is only enabling them to continue destructive behavior.
2006-12-21 04:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first, i am a little confused, how old is the child/your granddaughter now????? if a minor, she doesnt need to have any contact with her biological mom/your daughter,,,,,,,, wait till she is of age,,,,,, then as far as her anger, yes of course she is angry,,, as to your daughter, drug addiction often is not about/has nothing to do with, how someone was raised,,,,, how many people in their life currently love them and show it,,,,,, nor how well their life is going in other areas,,,, its an addiction,,,,, sometimes biological/sometimes mental,,,, often both,,,,,,,, your daughter and granddaughter both need counseling,,,,, with a psychologist, to help them come to terms with what is going on,,,,, before they try to have a relationship or go into detox or change their lives,,,,,,,,
2006-12-21 04:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by dlin333 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter has to stop regardless. But for the sake of your granddaughter, maybe you can spend as much time with her. Show her that you care and show her that she means something to you.
2006-12-21 04:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by phgl83 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your daughter does have to stop the life style that she has in order to set the example that she wants to with credibility. i think it's great that she wants to be involved in her daughters life and cares enough to do what she has to. children are going to do what they are going to do. but they do see the light when they are ready to. your daughter should go ahead and clean up her life. she should also keep trying to help her daughter through her own experiences. that in itself can be the best way for her to be a role model for her daughter. the best was to teach is through experience. it takes time but your daughter has to be consistant in order for her own daugther to get the message. i applaud her efforts.
2006-12-21 04:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look into counseling both family and individual for your daughter, contact your local crisis center, or drug and alcohol rehabliatation facility for some ideas for treatment, if your daughter wants to quit be supportive, if not seek out alanon meetins for yourself to help you grow healthy.
2006-12-21 04:13:39 · answer #6 · answered by sexyandsingle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say, you have no control over this situation. All you can do is love them and maintain firm, healthy boundaries. Good luck and God bless you all.
2006-12-21 04:13:20 · answer #7 · answered by CJ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to send them both to treatment fast...get them help before it is too late...its not safe for women to be doing that kind of crap they can really get into some serious trouble healthwise or criminal wise...that is if they are lucky!
2006-12-21 04:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
watch her 247 n dont let her do any of that... thats bad **** rite there
2006-12-21 04:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋