She is going through a divorce. He has been abusive for years, verbally and physically to her and her kids. When she threw him out he did over 85k in damages to the house. Broke EVERYTHING!. He said he was going to chop up my sister while the kids watch and then kill them. The police are aware but won't/can't do anythiing. Should I go out there and put some hurt on the guy?
2006-12-21 03:51:50 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, do not allow your sister to go near this guy and you stay away from him also! If you want your sister and her children to stay safe, send her away! This man is serious! I know, my friend Phyllis is dead because of a man like the one you described. Send her to a place where the husband will not even think to find her there. I think she will be able to change her ss# because of the threat to her life. Help set her up somewhere. Make sure there is no paper trail left behind. No credit cards used, close all joint accounts. Change the kids names. Get her out of there if you want her and the kids to stay alive! Teach her to use a gun. Help her get a permit to carry one. Tell her not to hesitate to use it. The most dangerous time is now when she has left him. This is when most women who are in domestic violence situations are likely to be killed. Make sure there is a restraining order on the dude and that she carries it on her at all times. If he threatens her or her children, it is better for her to kill him than for her to die at his hand. The children's lives are worth more than his. I wish Phyllis would have listened to me when I begged her to carry a gun. Her husband shot her through the door and she died in the arms of her 15 year old son. She was married to this man for 21 years! After years of violence and abuse she left. The sad thing is that one week before this, he was arrested for the 37 th time and the judge saw fit to let him out of jail with a "warning"! What a joke! I miss my dear friend. She was a wonderful mother and a lovely person! Take care of your sister while you still can! Keep her and those dear children safe! God bless her and her children! She will be in my prayers!
2006-12-21 04:19:00 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should take him seriously. You should report this to the police, going up in rank and getting names and badge numbers until you get results. Your sister needs an order of protection which she MUST keep on her person at all times to have enforced properly. This is not a joke. If he thinks it is, then law enforcement should teach him differently. We just had a case like this in the state where I live. Horrible. Although attacked first, the mother survived, but the four children didn't make it. A horrible waste of life. Take him seriously.
Contact a women's shelter. They know all the ropes in these matters and can advise your sister properly of the steps to take to insure her safety. Her lawyer should also be filing motions for her safety. If she never pressed charges for the abuse you say she and the children suffered it will be a bit difficult, but if you have witnessed the threats and/or scars of the abuse, you can also testify to the necessity of a restraining order.
Finally, a restraining order is only as good as it is enforced and the person who bears it is wise. Other than through her lawyers, your sister needs to nix all communication with this man. That includes accepting calls on behalf of the children too.
Good luck.
2006-12-21 04:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. If you do that, you're gonna end up in jail and will be unable to do anything if he really does want to do something bad to your sister. Best thing to do is beef up your security around the house, have your sister keep an eye out on her surroundings, buy some mace for self defense etc. If he threatens again, call the police again and get a restraining order.
2006-12-21 03:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was already legally removed from the house by the divorce have him arrested for vandalism. A police report will allow her to turn it into the insurance company. Get a restraining order through her attorney for the divorce and an alarm system for the house. You putting the hurt to him may land you in jail or worse.
2006-12-21 03:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah right, put some hurt on the guy and end up in jail for assault why he roams free. Especially at this time of year.
The only thing you can do is encourage your sister to get a restraining order. Hopefully she filed a police report and insurance claim when he went nuts. If she has pictures of the damage get them to an attorney to support the restraining order.
2006-12-21 03:57:54 · answer #5 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you go there, take your sister and kids to a safe place.
I cant believe the police can not put this nut in jail.
Your sister and her kids have witnessed enough physical abuse and violence, what they need from you good common sense.
Help them get the help they need.
There are abusive hot-lines and several programs that can assist so the family will be safe.
2006-12-21 04:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs to go and obtain a restraining order or Order of Protection. This will allow him from coming near her and any other family members she mentions in the petition. If he does do something to her or come near her. She would be able to call the police and he will be arrested. If she does obtain an Order of protection, she needs to take a copy to the police station and any schools if she has children. She needs to keep a copy with her at all times.
2006-12-21 04:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would like to tell you to kick the crap out of this guy but that is not going to solve anything. You will be locked up and he will be even more pissed off and maybe follow thru with his threats. Beef up home security by changing the locks ect.. I know that the police do not always help out in these situations and it gets very frustrating. Make sure she gets a restraining order and keeps the police up to date on everything. If he comes to her property when she has this restraining order on him then she can shoot his *** legally in self defense and be done with it!
2006-12-21 04:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Crickett 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all why the heck can't the police do anything? You need to report the police department about that. He is threatening to kill her and the kids, that's communicating threats. If you do something to him, you'll get in trouble, she also needs to take that communicating threat charge and then go straight to the court house and get a protective order.
2006-12-21 04:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy G 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, because you will just end up in trouble over that...... She needs to get a restraining order on him that way when he does these things the cops can do something about it if he violates the order he will be arrest and keep in jail overnight up to the 3rd time then he is gone for up to 30 days........
There is no need in making more violence for the kids to see they have been through enough....... Just take her to get an restraining order and wait for him to break it and have him put in jail.... but make sure that you have a video recorder handy that way if he leaves before cops get there you have proof for them to arrest him.....
I know it is hard and frustrating been there but it is the best way Good Luck
2006-12-21 04:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋