Need help - Violation of Custody Agreement?

Question

My husbands ex-wife has decided that my husband does not call their daughter often enough, so she is now not letting my husband talk to his daughter on the phone. We sent his daughter Christmas gifts only to receive a voicemail from his psycho ex stating that she was changing all of the tags on the presents to say they are from someone else. She lives in Colorado and we are in Arizona and the divorce was done in Wyoming. We don't have a lot of money to retain an attorney. Is there a way we can file a motion with the Wyoming courts to let them know what is going on and make her abide by the custody agreement. I don't know what to do. My husband just wants to talk to his daughter.

Answer 1

I do believe that this would fall under both "creating a hostile environment" and "depriving the non custodial parent of contact". Both situations are absolute no no in most custody arrangements. First, I would make sure that the voice mail message is kept and then I would seek legal council. You don't really have to "retain an attorney". You may just need to speak with one that can point you in the right direction of the paperwork that you need to file and then you can file said paperwork yourself. You may also try one of those free legal advice web sites. They may be able to help you find what paperwork you need as well. Good luck.

Answer 2

Sounds like you need to file with the courts about the violation, you shouldn't have to go through the divorce court, but through family court. If you have the custody papers and go through the same court system (Wyoming) you might be able to print off the papers you need and refile them. Have you tried calling the courts in Wyoming? They would be able to tell you where you need to file, Colorado, Arizona, or Wyoming. The courts should be able to help you and you shouldn't need a lawyer.

Answer 3

Might be a long shot but...
If it is true that your husband has not been in contact with his daughter as much as he should, maybe the both of you can send an apology letter (not filled with excuses, but just a sincere sorry) addressed to both the ex and his daughter saying that you are sorry for not being more active in her life.
It won't cost anything and maybe this could put out the fires that are burning and the ex may be a little more forgiving. I agree that her mother's actions are not right but we are all guilty of acting out of anger at one time or another.
If it doesn't work then I would definitely petition the court.
Best wishes to you and may God bless your new year!

Answer 4

Yes you can file a petition in the court without getting a lawyer! Call the county courthouse where the divorce was done and ask for them to mail the paperwork to you. If you have any questions about filling them out there usually is someone in the courthouse that will be more than happy to answer your questions!

Good luck! I think it is mean and vindictive to use children like this! Your husband has every right to talk to his daughter and she has every right to talk to her father!!

Answer 5

SAVE that voicemail from the psycho chick. start documenting everything (with dates and times next to it).

call your local legal aid office. all states have them and are in most counties. they go on a sliding scale, so its free to most. look in the phone book or call your county court clerks office and ask if they have the number. they would know about how to handle an issue/violation from state to state.

some links below may help; just click on your state and find the section you need.

Answer 6

where do you live now i believe that is were you would file for a motion you need to call a attorney they do phone consultations for free I understand I've got an ex that i didn't get along with but we have both grown up and now get along for or children we have joint custody but he doesn't see them like he should but i see it as he is only hurting himself Your ex needs to stand up a be a man if he wants to talk to his daughter then he should not let anyone stop him he should never have to choose

Answer 7

Ok, I am going to try to talk with you about this situation one adult to another. First off do you honestly think it is in your husband's daughter's best interest to call her mother a "Phycho"? How does that create any positive solution to this dismal situation? You sound like a loving wife and maybe you are a mother. I hope you are a mother, otherwise you may not understand what I am saying. Do you and your husband have children together, or do you have children from a previous marriage?

Listen, I believe firmly that your husband loves his daughter. I want to ask you if you remember how time went by so slow when you were a child. Time goes by so much more slowly when we are younger, than when we are adults and the older we get the faster time seems to fly on by.

A week for a child seems more like a month does to an adult. If your husband is not contacting his daughter at the very least on a weekly basis, she is feeling very abondoned by him right now. Her mother is wrong to stop the phone calls he does wish to make and wrong to change the tags on any gifts he sends to his duaghter.

With that said, I want you to know that I raised a family of four children who I have legal guardianship of. The mother has an addiction problem and had lost her children once to foster care and the state was getting ready to take them again. She asked me to take and raise her children for her and after a lot of soul searching I didi exactly that. However, she would come in and out of these children's lives very inconsistantly and the children suffered deep emotional wounds over it. Did she mean to cause them such suffering? No, of course not, she loves these children as much as I do, but she is very immature and very selfish. She is more like a fourteen year old than the mature fifty year old she would have been if she had not beocme addicted to drugs. She is stuck in the age where the world evolves around her and she is unable to see how her behavior affects others.

Have you ever held a child who you love with all your heart while that child cried his/her heart out and asked you why his/her parent does not love her enough to come see her or even call her on any sort of regular basis? Have you ever watched the experssion of a child anticipating a phone call only to be dashed to the ground in dissapointment and grief when that call never comes? Have you ever had to hold a child who believes she is unlovable due to a parents unintentional lack of consistantacy?

I have, on numerous occassions and it is devestating to watch the destruction of a child you love self esttem, self worth and self confidence due to that inconsistant parent. It is such a powerless feeling to know there is nothing you can do but hold the child and love them with all your heart but still know that nothing you do will stop the pain that child feels.

While I disagree with what your husband's ex-wife is doing, I can understand what she is trying to do. She does not want her child to experiance this pain any longer and is taking drastic steps to try to stop it. Wrong steps, steps which will only hurt the child even deeper in the short and long run, but I still can see why she would want to try to stop her child's pain and suffering.

If I were in your shoes I would do everything in my power to encourage my husband to try to reconcile with his child's mother, and then to help him set up a regular correspondance/phone/visit schedule which the child can count on occurring on a very consistant basis. The fact you have a computer means you can set up regular alerts to events in your e-mail client. All the e-mail programs have systems where you can receive alerts to events on a regular basis.

I understand how life catches us up and before we know it time has past by without a call to somebody we love. However, we just can't afford to have this happen with a child who loves us deeply and needs our love and attention in order to develope a strong degree of self esteem, of being loved and valued and develope the proper degree of self confidence and self worth.

Your husband has unintintually harmed his daugher by his lack of consistancy in her life. It is time he understands just how deeply his childs self esteem is tied in how often he contacts her. Right now she feels abondoned and unloved or unwanted.

My children have suffered in this way tremendously, and I know for a fact how little it takes to hurt a child's belief in how lovalbe they are. Just this type of inconsistancy will blow a hole into her heart which she will carry for the rest of her life. Does he mean for this to happen to his child? I don't believe so, not at all. But he needs to understand how he affects her and how much he does hurt her by not being a consistant presence in her life.

I agree with the fella who wrote that your husband should write a letter of apology and tell his ex that he understands now how much their daughter needs him in her life consistantly and that he is not going to repeat the past if she will allow him to talk with their child. It may take a few letters, but it is important to start. I don't think a court is needed yet, and in fact it could make this situatuon worse. For his child I mean. If he goes to court and the court orders her to allow his calls and gifts, how will that help him see how he needs to start being consistant? It won't.

Please try to encourage your husband to see how his lack of consistancy is harming his child and help him establish a relaitonship with his ex which is in the best interests of the child. She is who matters the most here not the adults.

I wish you all a very happy holliday and a great new year!