I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and whenever he brings up marriage, I would normally be a little shy on the subject and not really say much. I know he wants to marry me with all his heart, and I DO want to marry him...but just not right now. I wouldn't mind being engaged for a year or so though....how do I let him know this w/out actually saying it....I don't want to flat out be like "lets get engaged" hehehe..
2006-12-21 03:10:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When the time is right he will propose if he is in fact into the ideal of getting married. I have been the same guy for over 5 yrs, and we were engaged x-mas eve 2003 and we are only planning our big day for June 2008. Don't rush into everything, enjoy everything and get all the crap out of the way, that way u know its for real.
Good Luck
2006-12-21 03:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by I Love Pink! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a year's engagment isn't bad. People have long engagments. If you know he's the one then I say go for it! Tell him you're not ready to settle down, but you are fully committed to him and your relationship. Tell him you want to enjoy the engagment and not feel rushed into planning a wedding, which isn't the easiest thing in the world.
He loves you and he'll understand. I'm married and the greatest thing about having a signifigant other is being able to tell them anything. Enjoy this time in your life. And regardless of how great your relationship is: get premarital counseling! The first 6 months are the hardest. My husband and I rarely, if ever, had a spat before we tied the knot, but those first months were difficult. We moved halfway across country - away from my family and friends. It was hard, marriage is hard but really fulfilling!
May I give you one bit of advice I was given before tying the knot? A very close friend of mine (my mom's age) said, "Make a committment before you get married to never say 'divorce.' Many times in our anger we say things we don't mean, so be careful with that word."
Anyways, good luck! ~Ashley
2006-12-21 11:21:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason not to discuss this sort of thing outright. It's actually better if you do. That doesn't mean he can't surprise you with the actual presentation of a ring and how he does it and rephrase the asking of the question and so on. But you need to go ahead and tell that that although you aren't ready to set the date for the ceremony, you ARE sure you want it to be him and you really wouldn't mind making it permanent and official by getting engaged to tell the world that you intend to be with each other forever. I really don't think he'll be unhappy to hear that, if he is as sure about marriage as you say.
2006-12-21 11:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't communicate to your boyfriend how you feel, you're getting off to a bad start. Let him know that you don't want to marry him right now, but you'd like to be engaged. Letting him know without actually saying it is a bad idea. How do you expect to communicate with one another for a lifetime if this is how you communicate now? The last issue you want is a marriage (or any relationship) is one that revolves around the inability to communicate with your partner.
IMHO, it sounds like you're not ready.
2006-12-21 11:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are still really young (like college age), It really doesn't sound like you want to marry him at all. If you like the way things are now, just say so. He'll have to decide whether or not he can live like that. But don't get engaged to that man only to break his heart in a year when you are playing Runaway Bride!
2006-12-21 13:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by lucypearl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have written is perfect. Just say exactly that when he asks you to marry.
I have just cut and paste from you question: ".... he wants to marry me with all his heart, and I DO want to marry him...but just not right now. I wouldn't mind being engaged for a year or so though....."
2006-12-21 11:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you can not tell him the you want to be engaged and talk to him than maybe you should not be getting married at all. Something or someone in your heart is holding you back and you need to resolve that first b4 you think of being engaged.
2006-12-21 11:14:06 · answer #7 · answered by lizzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting engage or married is an important and serious matter. Be mature enough and discuss with him to work out the best solution. Do not play hard to get if you really love him.
2006-12-21 11:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by burr burr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its very simple. Just communicate with him and tell him the truth. After all, he will be your future husband. Tell him that yes, you will marry him and that you would like to wait at least a year. Tell him what kind of a wedding you want and that takes a lot of planning. If he's willing to wait, he truly loves you. Good luck!
2006-12-21 11:17:42 · answer #9 · answered by na5nica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe you are ready to take such a huge step as deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone, a real conversation is in order. This is not the time for coyness or hints!
My guy and I talk about it and our potential kids and home all the time. You should be talking about more than just the wedding day--this is your whole life.
2006-12-21 11:23:11 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋