2006-12-21 02:40:00 · 31 answers · asked by scout1567 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If the marriage is having trouble a child isn't the answer. Best recomendation I can offer is find out what is causing the marriage to end and see if there is anything that can be done to help the situation but otherwise don't have a baby just to save a marriage.
2006-12-21 02:44:41 · answer #1 · answered by Firestorm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the WORST way to think ! Too many women think a material item or a child will make them happy. If a marriage isn't meant to be, nothing will prevent it from collapsing. A baby will only make matters worse, and no woman on here will tell me otherwise. Every single one of my pals that have kids are even more miserable than ever. Do you even know how much work a child is?
I won't have kids, I don't have the time, energy, patience for them, at least I can admit this.
Don't try to fix things by having a child, it only makes it worse. Why would anyone bring a child into this world knowing that she and the father aren't on good terms?
I am not saying you, but a lot of women have children due to boredom and unhappiness, and this is wrong.
This isn't something I made up, it's something I've seen with my own eyes.
merry x mas
2006-12-21 10:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by godzillasagoodman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you have a baby to save a marriage, you will be making three lives miserable instead of two!
It never works, and actually, the baby will increase your stress because babies are demanding and a lot of work. They require undivided attention at times, and deserve more than coming into this world to fix a relationship.
A person who grows up this way is destined for a therapists's couch! (and you don't want that for you child do you?)
If you want to have a baby, do it for the right reasons. You should be in a loving and healthy relationship first, where both partners want a baby and are prepared to have one.
You can certainly work on your marriage though. If you haven't tried counseling, do that.
Good luck!
2006-12-21 10:52:38 · answer #3 · answered by kristin c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, babies are divisive, not binding. They put a wedge between you and your spouse..... instead of tending to each other, there is now a third person in the equation. Never, never, believe a child will bind you. If your marriage is doomed, a child with doom it even faster, and deeper. Your marriage, if it is ill, will just become sicker. Children deserve to be born into a solid relationship of love, nurturing, and responsibility. Those who have ever thought a child would be 'glue' found that not to be the case, big time. Either get help for your marriage, or if you deem it trashed, get out. No child will help, hon, don't ever expect that. And ask any couple who has tried it---- the marriage just becomes shakier.... read some of the questions in this site --- they are eye openers... stuff like " We had an okay marriage before our child arrived. Now, he never touches me, and I don't feel much for him either. What happened????"
2006-12-21 12:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby will not save your marriage. In fact it will add stress to your marriage. Having a baby is like having two jobs in one and if you are already having problems you probably wont be able to compromise over rearing issuse. You would end up divorces in less than a year I would bet. Bringing a life into the world should be done out of love not out of saving a marriage. Good luck!
2006-12-21 10:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by angie a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, a baby will not save a marriage and it is not fair to bring a baby into the picture when you are uncertain about your relationship with your spouse. More times than not, even in "stable" marriages, having a baby puts such a huge strain on the relationship;it is no longer about you as a couple, you have to put the child first...many times one of the parties (usually, but not always, the male) feels neglected and jealous because the world no longer revolves around them and uses it as excuse to have their needs for attention met elsewhere.
2006-12-21 10:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Robert S., adding a baby would be a bad idea. If you don't have the time to take care of a marriage now, adding the demands of a baby will probably kill a hurting marriage.
What saves a marriage is the comittment of BOTH partners to actually performing the loving actions required to make a marriage work.
It's not a thing, it's an attitude.
2006-12-21 10:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The couple may stay together because they now have a child, but that doesn't mean they will be any happier. The same problems will still be there, but add to that the stress of a baby. While you may still be together, the marriage will not be "saved", it will just still exist. Be careful with this. If the marriage ends anyway, you now have an innocent child involved.
2006-12-21 10:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a child to save a marriage. Just like single woman should not have a child expecting to keep a boyfriend. A relationship based off anything but love for one another will fail. What happens when the child turns 18 and moves out?
2006-12-21 10:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that a child can save a marriage. If the home situation isn't happy please don't bring a child into it. Having children is the most blessed thing that can ever happen to anyone but it is also the hardest job any person can have, and it adds strain to an already strained relationship. Being in a unhappy home is hard for a child, I know this from experience. My parents were unhappy for a very long time and they stayed together out of stubborness and for me and my brother. Its diffucult on children when their parents fight all the time.
2006-12-21 10:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋