I believe my husband's ex is still calling him. (they were together on and off for over 10 years). I don't think he wants to say anything to me about it because he knows it would just cause too much drama. The reason I think she is calling is because sometime when his cell phone rings, he won't answer it he just has this funny look on his face. Me and him had some real difficult times because he didn't want to hurt her feelings and tell her he had moved on and was engaged to get married. I think he was leading her on and having her think that they were going to be a couple once again. Here's the thing, if she is still calling do you think he would tell her he is now married or just continue have her thinking that there is still potential for the both of them? How should I handle this without overreacting?
2006-12-21 02:03:34 · 7 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop pressing the panic buttons ...... she's his ex. They will always have a history together. While they may be able to mature enough to be friends usually there is little chance they will be a couple again.
Husband sounds like he hates confrontation .... but I would just let it go .. no reason to react or over-react.
2006-12-21 02:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you have a right to know who is calling. It appears that he's hiding something and that is no way to start a marriage. If the ex is calling etc. - then you should know those things. He needs to to tell her to back off, and you need to be assured that that is being done. The drama can be postponed but not avoided.
He is creating more problems with both of you by not being up front and by noy answering the call and not telling you who it is. He is also creating more anxiety and dishonesty by trying to hide whatever is going on. For all you know someone else could be calling. It's rude and you are showing him how to treat you - with little respect and like a child who is on the outside of his problems.
Either way, he needs to let his ex know in no uncertain terms that he has moved on and is married. This is extremely unfair to you and to her if he is leading her on.
Sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. You need to step up and put your foot down.
2006-12-21 11:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him why he is not answering the phone when its ringing and also I would suggest that I answer it and tell the person that he is not there, see how he reacts. I wouldn't bring up his ex, I would just say that I am sure that person will call again, why not just give them the answer they are looking for right away and let them go on with their life. And leave it at that!
2006-12-21 10:16:23 · answer #3 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, someone is calling him and I would say its a female, second for him not to tell her that he is with someone means he wants her to think there is still a chance for them. He wants to keep that option of her open. So, it looks like he is not going to be faithful to you. Never get with a man who has been on and off with someone for that long as they will continue to be on and off for many more years. You should try to talk to her although, do it nicely and you may get the answer on if he is still seeing her. Let her know you are his wife and just want to know if they have been seeing each other. My advice to you is, you need to leave him because he is hiding someone from you and that is the first sign of him cheating....Sorry to beak it to you but, hes a cheat and you deserve better.
2006-12-21 10:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forgive me if I sound crass, but .... I'd just invite her to lunch with you and your husband. If you're confident in your marriage it may be the perfect soultion for the ex to see there's no chance and move on. For sure they will be the ones squirming in their seats if there's something to hide. These things fester in your mind till they devour. Best to meet it head on and be finished with it. Good luck, Debbie
2006-12-21 11:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by Deborah B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most ( I did say most ,not all) men feel that by being with one woman that they are doing an in-service to womankind .And by not being with more than one women just wouldn't be fair to all you women...He has to share his greatness with as many woman as he can....I think he doesn't want to burn any bridges .....have his little wifey-poo and girlfriend too!
2006-12-21 10:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you need to sit down and tell him he needs to get off the fence. Have him call her and tell her not to call him anymore and if he doesn't want to you do it. If he doesn't let you call and he won't, then I would end it.
2006-12-21 10:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by orca 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋