I am a very untrusting person by nature because of the life I have lived so I make people earn my trust instead of give it and then get crushed when you find out you cant trust them. Well I did this with my girlfriend who I love very much, I behaved as though I couldnt trust her and she has done some things to test my trust which I cant stand to be tested. I guess I dont like my own medicine. Well recently I did something to break her trust in me by logging into her ex b/f account, I tell myself its not because I wanted to see what she is still talking to him about but how there relationship was in the past and I told her I did it. I did it because Im insecure. She never talks to me when we have problems which always made me think she was hiding something but thats just the way she deals with things. My question is, is it possible for me to start behaving like I trust her to show her I do or is it to late? How can I show her I trust her so she will know it.
2006-12-21 01:52:55 · 10 answers · asked by 1authority 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i am too in the same problem and don't know what to do. Plz give me some suggestions , i really need it.
2006-12-21 02:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Drish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.... I'm very insecure too but I would never do that.... You need to see a therapist to talk about your insecurities (I'm serious i"m not saying that to be mean)..... I hope your girlfriend can forgive you, but please, for the sake of your relationship, don't do that again. My girlfriend and I talk about past loves maybe once every couple months, just to share our past experiences and relate them to how much better our relationship is to our past ones, but we don't get into details too much because that's not healthy, as open and honest as we are with each other. My girlfriend is very understanding about my insecurity, so sometimes we talk about it and she usually reassures me how much she loves me. However, most girls are extremely turned off by it, so I don't know what to tell you since I don't know your girlfriend. Last but definitely not least, trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship, so if you can't find a way to have that, you're in trouble. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You have to trust someone to share your life with them. I think if you work on this with a therapist, you will find ways to both be more secure and to trust your girlfriend. Be honest and talk to your girlfriend too, but don't cross any lines that might mess things up.
2006-12-21 02:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when there is a trust issue, those in the relationship need to talk about it. her not talking makes u believe she may be hiding something. lighten up on her, she is not at all responsible for your past. get some therapy to handle what happened in your past, so u will be able to trust her or anyone else your in a relationship with. u show her not in words or promises, although they are important for her to hear, but by your actions. show her there is a change of behavior in u.
2006-12-21 02:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to make ppl or yr family or yr daughter trust you, is you have to be trusted first. To make yrself trusted u have to work for it. Dont tell anyone abt anything if yr daughter tell u, thats the started. You have to talk to her all yr feelings too, start to trust her, from trusting her you will gain her trust on you. The relationship later will become much more closer.
2006-12-21 02:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by ironlady42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have A LOT of growing up to do.
You shouldn't even have a girlfriend; you have enough self problems to deal with, you don't need female problems added to that.
Anyway it would take a lot of time for me to trust you if I were her; but it would eventually happen if you yourself were trusting, but you admitted that you aren't, so this is most probably the end of your relationship with her.
2006-12-21 02:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by Sachu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really messed up, I hope you know that!
If you two live together than tell her that you are sorry and that you messed up and that you will try not to ever do it again. Then take her out to dinner and then back to your place. Watch a movie and let her fall asleep in your arms. She will forget about you hacking in her ex-boyfriends account and she will probably forgive you.
2006-12-21 01:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ariel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To late...and she shouldnt have tested you. I did this before and its not a pretty picture. It takes alot for you to trust someone or vise versa, I would advise you not to do it again!
2006-12-21 01:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by sierra8152001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will always have issues with trust - it will take a long time and a lot of will power to change your mentality - stay single until you actually do - in this case damage is already done....
2006-12-21 02:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by gorochan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late.
2006-12-21 01:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you f**ked up, dude....start groveling.
2006-12-21 01:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋