Dissapointed at no home birth....?

Question

THis is my second pregnancy and I was really hoping for a home birth this time but my midwife and obstetrician says I shouldn't have one as I had a post partum hemmeorage last birth. I am prepared to go with what they suggest, after all I don't want to bleed to death in my livingroom, but what can I do to get the midwives at the hospital to listen to me and do what I want? I want a natural birth with lots of moving around and no drugs but last time I went into hospital I wanted that too and I found myself being injected with pethidine and lying flat on a bed for 7 hours!

They didn't actually force me to take drugs, that would be illegal! They were just like come on, it will make you feel better, no point in having pain, you will relax, just a little bit, just going on and on and I gave in which I really regret

Answer 1

Have you done your birth plan yet?

If not, make sure you make clear in your birth plan what kind of birth you want.

Keep a copy of it, and take it to the hospital when you go into labour.

Make sure your partner knows what you want to do, and get him to nag the midwives if they try to go against your wishes.

Some midwives are great, and others are terrible. Most are somewhere in between (just like every other trade or profession).

I've always found in dealing with health care professionals that you need to be really assertive with them. When you are in labour you are really vulnerable, and some health care staff take advantage of that in order to have an easy life.

It's a lot less work looking after a woman who's practically unconscious with pethidine than to stay with her throughout her labour and support her while she goes through the natural process.

So stick up for yourself! If you and your partner don't feel confident that you can demand what you want, maybe you could get your Mum or someone else along?

Good luck. I hope you get what you want.

There really is nothing better in the whole world than the feeling you get when you have given birth naturally (in my opinion!).

Answer 2

If you were injected with pethidine and lying flat for 7 hrs no wonder you had a hemorrhage.

I had a hemorrhage with my first, was fine with my second and third, and am fighting for a home birth with my fourth.

You have a statistical 4% chance of hemorrhage in hospital and 2% chance at home. This is mainly because medical interventions can cause hemorrhages.

It also depends on how much blood you lost and how well you are now, if you are anaemic or not etc, also how far you are from the hospital if you did need to transfer.

The chances of you bleesing to death are slim. Midwives do have basic equipment with them. Ensure your iron levels are kept up by taking natural 'spa tone' iron supplement daily, and if you put baby to the breast straight away, it helps avoid excess bleeding.

I am holding out for a home birth. We have decided to refuse to go to hospital as to be honest I've taken enough abuse from hospital staff to last me a lifetime and do not want any more.

The midwives probably will say you can;t have a home birth, in fact they say that to almost everyone as they are so understaffed. Unfortunately you have to fight for it.

The website www.homebirth.org.uk is an excellent resource with more info.

Answer 3

To be honest it is hard to find a midwife these days that has the time to listen to you. When I had my first child nobody listened to what I wanted at all and after they couldnt wait to get me out and didnt even ask me if I was ok. From speaking to other mothers I have found that different hospitals seem to be better. I need them to listen to me this time as I have SPD which is a condition where I need to be very careful and can only give birth in certain positions so fingers crossed this time.
The only way if you cant change hospitals is to be very firm with them and insist on the birth that you want.

I hope everything goes well for you as I am sure it will.

Answer 4

I had a domino delivery. It meant that my midwife delivered the baby in hospital and as soon as a doctor had checked the baby I went home. I was only in hospital for two hours. It's the next best thing to a home birth. Good luck
Bear in mind the nurses in the hospital wouldn't even fetch a drink of water for me or the baby so I had to get up straight after delivering. It worked out well though. I was in the right place if there had been any complications

Answer 5

It's a shame you can't have a home birth, but fair enough if you had probs last time.
I think you need to have a very definite birth plan, talk to your midwives before hand, and have someone who will be your advocate at the birth, who can talk for you.
Have you asked about birthing centres as an alternative to a home birth?

Answer 6

Make sure your hubby will advocate for what you want. Write up a birth plan ahead of time and post it on your door. Have your caregiver sign it and put it in your file. Consider hiring a doula to be with you and advocate for you. Labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital.

Answer 7

I firmly believe in all the medication they want to give but I respect the fact that you want to do this naturally. You should explain to your nurse your wishes. Tell them you feel strongly about this. Ask your nurse to informthe others who may be working with you of your desires. Tell your nurse about your last experience and explain your disappointment. Stand up for yourself and ask your birthing partner to help.
I had the same thing with breast feeding. I had no desire to breastfeed with my second child and the hospital wants you to. I explained my desire and told them to not ask again.
I would like to say one last thing and that is. Do not feel like you are less of a person if you can not make it through without pain medication. I can not imagine doing it without! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 8

I understand them wanted to "push" you into taking the drugs. However, it IS your choice. If you REALLY don't want them. Say, NO. Ask them to please stop offering, and if YOU change you're mind, you'll let them know, but not to ask again. You may want to let everyone in your family that will be present at the birth (be it one person or more) how you feel about it, too so they can support your decision and not add to the suggestion of drugs.

Answer 9

Are you using the same OB/midwife? If so maybe you should switch. Unless there was a legitimate medical reason they shouldn't have drugged you against your wishes. The fact that they did so indicates a complete lack of respect for you.

Answer 10

ask them as soon as you get there that you want to a natural birth and they should respect your decision I had a natural birth w/ my second child is beautiful plus believe it or not...lot less pain full (the recovery) I noticed the difference on my first and second child...i would tell you yes go to the hospital but go w/ natural no drugs....good luck and enjoy your little one.....