How do u resolve arguments about money or avoid them?

Question

Money is such a stupid thing to argue over but its the one thing that can create a big argument.Well I earn just under £200-00 a week and my other half earns just over £300-00, now he gives me money contributing to the bills and stuff but he keeps back bout £100-00 a week for himself.since we have bought a house our bills come up to well over £1200-00 per month.I pay for the groceries, and everything else we need but I dont have money left over.I also pay for petrol as my other half doesnt drive.I think this is a little unfair when he can go out and spend and I have to struggle with money thinking Im going to go overdrawn and this causes alot of arguments between us and it is bad!

We have tried all of these.He earns double what I earn some weeks so either way it does not work out fairly.I expect him to help with the car expences coz I drive him everywhere.For instance we are going up to London on Monday to spend xmas with his family.I have to pay for petrol to get up there.Not fair is it?? I have to pay coz he doesnt have any!?!?!I do start to wonder!

Answer 1

Expose All the bills to him. Put both your wages in a pot, take out the money to pay the bills. Then devide equally between you's what's left. If he moans, Go towards him smiling as if you're gonna whisper in his ear but change to a kiss on his cheek and whisper to him," You're the breadwinner aren't you?". Put your winnings in "your" bank account. He can put his winnings into "his" bank account. If you both work hard and keep tight independant budgets, you may work it out better. I hope Both of you have a great christmas and new year. Don't worry lifes too short.

Answer 2

Hmm... money is one of the top contenders for stress in marriages. The simple answer is to earn more. Look for a better paying job to end this situation.

By the way i can't understand the Math. Your bills are 1200 pounds a month. You both contribute 200 pounds each per week. So the contributions together amount to 400 pounds * 4 weeks = 1600 pounds per month which is well above your expenses. Where is the problem ma'am? Why is it unfair ???

Is this a problem of poor Maths or poor financial management? He can keep his 100 while you can also keep some money. i don't see any problem.

Merry Christmas....

Answer 3

Your first problem in the "my money your money" attitude. When you go as far as buying a place together, whether you are married or just living together you have made a financial agreement that your financial responsibilities belong to both of you. When you try to separate, "this is mine and this is yours" you are not in it as one, but you are still separating yourselves through the finances as a couple. Before you can really be together emotionally, you have to have the attitude that all responsibilities, whether financial or otherwise, are both of yours equally. One bank account, and everything goes into that account. No discussion as to who's income contributes more, because you are both earning money for the common good of both of you. Until you can put this selfishness aside and become a unified team, it will be impossible for you to get the money arguments under control.

That being said, I don't think there is a single couple that doesn't have a money disagreement from time to time. My wife and i don't have the attitude that some of the money is mine and some is hers, but we still have disagreements about it. The difference is that we disagree on what we should spend it on, or how much we can afford. We never have to argue over WHO'S money it is, because it belongs to both of us to use for us. In a marriage there is no longer suppose to be a you, or a me. You are one and you both need to take on that attitude.

Answer 4

one way to do this to combind your money! so every week you have about 500 your total out cost is 1500 about!
so 3 weeks will cover that!
so you have 1 week of 500 bucks left!
split it in half!

soons as peeps turn money into a business deal the relationship sucks! if you love eachother then combine the money and deal with it!
don't be afraid to ask for money if you don't have any!
or do a percent! if each of you take 80% of your pay and give it to bills and savings then you will about 160 a month to spend
he would have 240 a month!
if you use % then you both will have a little!
and you will end up paying! 960 + 640 = 1600 so you would be saving 400 a month in to a savings account...
if you go by week
then you would have 40 bucks a week! he would have 60 bucks a week!
that's an equal split up!

Answer 5

Since he earns more than you, at least he should contribute to the upkeep of your relationship. Since you argue so often about money issues then that means he is inconsiderate and expects you to manage on your own. So in order to make your point bear results, then tell him that you are cancelling all the trips you do with the car and he should use the bus instead unless he folks out money for petrol.
Tell him although it sounds unreasonable, you have got to implement that until he begins to realise that family sacrifices come first rather than the fun he has with his friends.

Answer 6

too many people have this arguement.

you need to split all bills that you have like utilities, rent, shopping etc
50-50.

opening a joint account for these bills to come out of would also be a good idea.

that way he doesnt feel his money is disappearing or that you have to justify anything you have spare!

you could also get him to get the shopping sometimes......

he may not genuinely realise that you are stuggling (alot of men are a shade on the dim side when it comes to problems in a relationship) and us women feel like leaving as its so bad at times- they, however will be going around thinking everything is good to go!!!

i would sit him down and have a chat and explain to him that you are not coping with paying for all the bills.....

if however he chooses not to listen, this will not be good.

to me it would imply that he doesnt give a hoot about you or whether you are skint or not which means hes not the one for you.

nobody likes a free loader.

Answer 7

Get a join acct. called the house acct. split expenses for mortgage & utilities down the middle. And every week both of you contribute what is needed to pay the expenses for the mortgage & utilities only. Groceries can be included in this as well. But if they are not...then the groceries that are bought shouldn't be shared unless you are both pitching in to provide them.

As for any expenses that aren't shared by the two of you, you each have your own acct. to pay out of for those.

Answer 8

If you guys are married why not have a joint checking account and set a budget up then both take out a little money for themselves, instead of who pays what pay all the bills combined

Answer 9

That is really awful.

The only fair way for a couple to organise their finances is as follows:

1. Work out your monthly outgoings (mortgage, council tax, insurance, food and household items, gas, leccy, car payments, car bills (insurance, maintenance, road tax, petrol).

2. Work out your monthly income.

3. Subtract your outgoings from your income.

4. Divide the remainder in half.

That way you both have the same amount of "pocket money".

If your partner is unwilling to do this, then I'm sorry, but he is an arsehole.

Don't put up with it. He is well out of order.

Answer 10

Sex and Money ... both vie for trhe number one reason on arguements in a relationship.
First, figure up your budget. Dont have one, get one, make on, QUICK. Then even devide up the resources so that you both provide equally. Ah, thats not easy to do, ... Petrol that you use and he doesnt, Should he contribute to your Petrol??
Secondly, Never ever get overdrawn.. .... PAr down your expendetures before you go over drawn ...

you can email me if youd like ....