My girlfriend of 6 years finished with me totally out of the blue 3 months ago. We share the same group of friends and I have become isolated from them because I cannot cope being out with her. I have hardly seen any of them as they appear to have chosen to stick by her. Although I have accepted it is over and am beginning to move on I feel numb whenever I see her. How do I overcome this to save my relationships with my friends? Do I accept that we may never be able to be friends and cut myself off from the group for good? I simply don't trust many of them anymore but it is hard to accept that they were not true friends. When I text them I get no reply. I think they are trying to tell me something but other friends think it is me being paranoid. What do you think?
2006-12-21 00:53:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, CONGRATS on the break up. Sounds like you are better off !! If she can bounce back from a 6 year relationship in 3 months, then you are MUCH better off without her.
Your friends suck. Just let them be and soon they will start to migrate back your way after they realize what she is all about. If they don't - THEIR LOSS. Don't worry man, just hang out with some new friends .. it will be healthy for you ... and if they were your true friends, they will be back soon .. then you can chose if you want them as friends at that point.
Best of Luck.
2006-12-21 00:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by ValleyR 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You hit the nail on the head with a few of them by saying you, "simply don't trust many of them anymore."
You realized they, "were not true friends."
Be happy!
Yeah, that's easy to say but as you know, you have to live and learn, and move on.
How do you do this? Actually you just have.
You hit a point in your life where you've come to realize everything you just stated, and doing that is the first step to wanting to move on.
How do you do it? Continue to be a fly on he wall and learn why you've just realized why these people were never your true friends.
Rejoice that you found out why they weren't your true friends and be glad you found out now and not 10-20 years from now.
As for your girlfriend? If you learned you can't trust your friends then you have to also learn that she wasn't true to you anymore than they were. While it may appear that she finished with you out of the blue after 6 years, she probably wasn't all that interested long before that and in the mean time she's been living a separate life long before she broke it off.
Knowing that should cause you a great relief in understanding that she herself couldn't be true to you. Which also means she can't be true to herself either.
As a result you're far better off without her instead of being brought down into the mud of the mess she's creating by seeming so happy and joyful without you.
She might seem happy around your friends, but they all probably know her better, you knowing them for less time, and they chose to stick with her.
People like that can never leave the grasp of their friends and likewise can never live happy without them (with someone else.)
Since you're not really 'in the crowd' you have to realize the crowd, isn't you. You have better paths to walk which doesn't include having to be coddled by them, and in the end you can stand on your own two feet... While they can't.
So be happy!
Grow! You can grow... They can't or don't want to.
Sincerely... Best of luck!
2006-12-21 09:16:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be very hard on you l know but l think you should make a complete break from your circle of friends. If they have chosen to side with her it is very unfortunate for you but their is really not a lot you can do about it. In order for you to get over her completely l think you need to make some independent friends and move in a complete different direction to your ex. Like you said yourself they were not true friends anyway or they would have tried to support both of you, especially after being together for 6 yrs. I don't know the reasons for your break up so it is really hard to decide who is at fault here but regardless of the reasons l believe it takes two to make or break a relationship. Yes l think your other friends or ex friends are trying to tell you that they support your ex and not yourself otherwise they would return your calls and be there for you also. I don't believe you are being paranoid at all. I believe that what you think about them is true. You really need to try to move on and stop beating yourself up over this.It is finished and you must move on. Best of luck to you and try to have a Merry Xmas. I wish you a very bright and happy new year.
2006-12-21 09:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would absolutely find new friends. I know it's hard, but if they are not going to support you during this hard time, they are not your friends. As far as she's concerned, you're better off. I hate to tell you this, and you probably already suspect if not know, but I'm willing to bet she was cheating on you or at least interested in someone else. You don't just end 6 years out of the blue (unless there were problems in the relationship that could not be solved). Get angry, say screw them. Honestly, sometimes it's easier to be mad at and hate the person than to keep thinking about how much you love them. Avoid her as much as possible and get on with your life. It's going to take time, but you'll be able to do it.
2006-12-21 09:54:17 · answer #4 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I like the question, so I gave it a thumbs up.
As for how to deal with it, it sounds like you need someone who is close to you AND her to talk to. Ask that person if they saw this coming. There must be a reason why she would just walk away from a 6 year relationship and you may not be able to see it, because you are too close. (Was she looking for a commitment?...it has been 6 years). This third person might give you some insight, which might also give you an explanation as to why other people are acting that way too.
2006-12-21 09:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by sep_n 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok first of all i know exactly how you feel, everytime you see them you just wish you could be the one beside them and be the one the one they love........ but you're not anymore so you have to accept it and move on no matter how hard it is. NOw about you're friends they may be trying to do exactly what you think but talking and communication is the best way to form relationships or make them better and see whats what
2006-12-21 09:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cultivate a better calabre of friends. These suck. Also, there are a million or more girls in the world. Many of these delicate damsels actually live in your own city. Look outside the bun and choose another lover. Best wishes!
2006-12-21 09:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you see them,head in another direction or move out of the town you're in,if you can.
2006-12-21 09:01:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your still trying to get over the pain of the breakup, and sounds like your still in love with her.
It's going to take time.
2006-12-21 09:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you just need to move on with your life and in time you will make new friends......good luck
2006-12-21 08:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋