HE BLACKED HER EYE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS AND ALSO RANG ME UP AND MY HUSBAND AND ABUSED US WHILE I WAS 3 MONTHS PREG,EVERYONE SAYS THEY ARE MAKING IT WORK AND I SHOULD FORGIVE AND SUPPORT HER BUT I HATE THE SIGHT OF HIM WHAT DO I DO???
2006-12-19 23:49:30 · 49 answers · asked by jodytez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you hate the sight of him then don't be in the situation where you have to look at him. Just be there for your sister to pick up the pieces when she comes to her senses and dumps the loser
Merry Christmas
2006-12-20 01:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so hard.
The man should NOT be hitting your sister, especially in front of children, they will grow up thinking this is ok, and the cycle continues. He should not be involving you, or abusing you.. But.... if they are trying to make it work, and if this means he is getting help with his abusive behaviour then, you should respect this. But, I'd keep an open mind about his getting help and keep an eye on your sister. Keep in touch even though you quite rightly hate the sight of him. Go along with whatever bs they tell you. Your sister is in a very hard situation, and is probably afraid of him, but thinks she loves him. She needs your support, even if it means pretending you believe all is well.
Best of Luck to your poor sister. These men don't usually change.
2006-12-19 23:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by Kesta♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should distance you and your family from both parties to a certain exstint.. Don't take sides it will only make things worse for your sister.
Domestic abuse of any type should not be tolerated by anyone. What I would do is recommend they seek counseling, and if neither desires to do that, then i'd get in touch with your local domestic violence department at the local police department and ask for intervention on their part.
Children can be harmed simply by witnessing domestic violence and thus grow up to become just like the parents.
Forgiveness is great but only when both parties in a domestic dispute are willing to work at fixing the problems.
2006-12-19 23:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day whilst what he did was wrong - its your sisters life that hes involved with and to stand by and support her - you probably do need to forgive - and if not forgive at least forget when you're in the same vicinity of him.
There is no excuse for a man hitting or being abusive to a woman but your sister has chose to stay with him and make it work and you have to support her decision.
You never have to like him - but for her sake Id be civil to him. xx
2006-12-20 01:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to grit your teeth and bare it for your sister. although its unbelievably hard, if she's forgiven him, you have to forgive him too. If you don't you could risk causing a rift between you and your sister. However, i think what you have mentioned is very serious. He should not be hitting your sister under any circumstances. You should keep a close eye on things and be there if your sister needs you. But don't interfere. It isn't up to you to make decisions for her. As her sister, the best thing you can do is support her and do whatever you can to help her. Good luck. It won't be easy.
2006-12-20 00:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide if you want to forgive him. Your sister may forgive him, others may but your choice on this one. It may make life easier for the family if you let it go if that is your sisters wishes but forgiveness comes from within you. Do not feel pressured by others around you but don't hang on to bad feelings that may upset you, have an effect on only you. Best of luck to you and your choices x
2006-12-20 00:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! You go over there and give him the same medicine or at least you get your husband to do this. She should really get out of there, but she probably feels trapped as she has kids! You need to make her realse that this weasel is no good for her or the kids and if the kids continue seeing this chances are that they will grow up and turn into violent thugs themselves.
2006-12-19 23:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never forgive him and tell him you're watching him like a hawk. the next time it happens you will ring the police on him. Wife beating scum. No more chances, he's a mouse. Tell him the man who uses violence against his wife is in the wrong no matter what the argument. Being a good husband is not using violence but using his Brain.
2006-12-23 22:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by Phew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I my mind I hope your question is a joke. Why would you want to forgive him. Convince your sister to leave him before she gets hurt. A man who hts a woman is the lowest form of life and WILL NOT CHANGE. It makes me sad when people do not use common sense. I wish you the best.
2006-12-20 00:29:22 · answer #9 · answered by Barry W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not forgive him. There is no excuse for hitting his wife. It will happen again. If a man hits you once shame on him, if he hits you twice shame on you for being there. Your sister needs to get away from this man before someone gets really hurt or killed. Be careful.
2006-12-20 00:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋