when i waz in luv with this man i didnt knew that he was married....but when later i came to know from someone else i could not leave him neither he wants to leave.he wants to keep the relation as it is.....coz he is not happy with her wife and he carnt get divorse as he have two children,still when he is with me he is very happy.....We are in physical relation also......am very much confuse sumtimes i think i dont want to keep this relation den i realise he loves me so much so i carnt leave him,but now i have to leave b'coz im getting married to sumone else.....what im going to do keep the realation after my marriage or not?
2006-12-19 23:45:01 · 28 answers · asked by alisha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you are playing with fire. First of all you are the one going to lose everything and that man is going to make everything of you. You need to understand life and society has too many parameters that are needed to be fulfilled for living. You are not living in a jungle. You are not only spoiling your life but also of some one whom you are going to marry. Are you going to tell him that you had a previous relationship with some one before marrying? Your life will become hell. Please awake now and become aware of your life and circumstances and do not allow others to just use you for their desires and mean happiness. I do not know how old you are but if you have even 20 years of life left you will be moving each day towards the hell. First of all the man who is showing you love is not loving you but has only his vested interest in you, you tell him to love you and keep the relationship but will not indulge in any physical relationship. I am sure he will take a sharp u turn from your life. Insist on settling your life as his life is already settled. I think I would say only this much at this time. In case you need any counselling please contact nischai_org@yahoo.co.in.
Wish you Best of Luck
Forget the whole episode as a nightmare and when you wake up tomorrow morning get a New Life
2006-12-20 00:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear alisha,
I empathise with your situation. I want you to know that it is first of all not right to get into a realtionship with some one who is not married to you. You were very haste in having a relationship without commitment. As you have realised now that the other person is married, you better move out of his life. Reason being there is a another women(his wife) and kids at stake. If you force him to be married to you neither he nor you will live happily because he will suffer from guilt and the realtionship with you is not correct.
Without any delay move out of your relationship with that man. Better ask forgiveness from God and repent for what you have done. And start a new life altogether. If you need counsel let me know, I will help you.
Take care
I pray that you God wil help you in this.Take care.
2006-12-20 15:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by kumar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I found many new youth who having relationship with others and at the same time they boths know that this relation is not for long. Well some time u do that for u human requirment I meant to say like sex. So If that thing in your mind too, there is not problem but it necessary that this relationship should last only upto your marrige not after marrige. At least u should not cheat that person whom u will love as life partner.
2006-12-20 07:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So this man didn't tell you at the beginning that he was married? And later on you didn't learn it from him, but from another person? And you still think he is trustworthy? Hey girl, you live in a fool's paradise. He is using you for his own selfish pleasures. His so called love is nothing but mental blackmail.
After what I've already said, I believe you can't be so stupid as to be unable to decide whether to continue the relationship even after you get married. You have already committed a very big mistake. If possible try to rectify it. Don't repeat it for God's sake.
2006-12-20 05:02:06 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The moment you found out he was married should of said enough. He is a liar, cheat and yet you love him that said alot about how insecure you are. Think about your self worth. Consider that someday you just might be that wife who's husband is having an affair on. You are only an excitement for him. Leave your lover and don't get married until your happy with your self.
2006-12-20 10:03:22 · answer #5 · answered by angel eyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think this man loves you. Because, when he is saying that cannot give divorce as he has two children, he could have talked to you that if you are ready to accept his children he could divorce his wife. Or if polygamy is permitted in your religion he could have both of you'll as his wives. If you do not accept these conditions then you do not really love him. In my opinion he is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Because he wants to enjoy you but does not take your responsibility. And if you keep relations with him after marriage you will be cheating your husband and if he finds out which he is bound to your whole life will be spoiled.
2006-12-20 00:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by sherebabbar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alisha..Please..You've lost your mind.How can you possibly have any respect for a man who bedded you,then later you found out he was married..He's a wimp that he can't leave his wife,but a wimp that he has to keep you a shameful little secret,and you are an idiot for allowing yourself to be no less than a dog to accept this kind of treatment from a man.He loes his wife,not you..the reality is if a man loves you,he will do ANYTHING to be with you,kids,wife,etc.,would,'nt stop a man from being w/woman he loves.Leave him alone and get over it.Also,don't marry this other guy-do him a favor and let him find a mutually loving,ope,honest relationship with some fabulous woman who loves herself and him.
2006-12-19 23:52:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't see this man any more. He is married. If he really loved you, he would divorce his wife. Don't marry unless you are really in love. Actually it takes a lot more than just love to hold a marriage together. But, get away from this married man. Try to think a little more of yourself than to get involved with a married man. Good luck.
2006-12-20 00:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who see it as a moral dilemma would certainly go to any length to denounce your relationship . There is a danger though that if you continue with him your husband would not like to share you with another man.This limits your option to do one of the following:
1:dont get married and continue as you are now
2. get married and mauled by your husband
3. get married and tell your husband its an open relationship so he can have his egg and omellete too
4 ask him to leave his wife and get married to you....
In exercising any of these options be ready for collateral damages
I understand that as part- time lover you know it is wrong and still your heart makes it feel right. Its all complex but not unusual, and only our yearning to approval makes it undesirable. Human heart in love is bound to cross limits.
2006-12-20 00:38:57 · answer #9 · answered by knightgown_2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i happen to agree with bri u r in for alot of pain as this progresses u will hurt for the one u have been with and when the one ur going to marry finds out u will hurt for him if u decide to continue the relationship PLEASE dont go through with the marriage i have no bussiness telling u what to do but u dont want the weight of all that pain on urself u would not have stayed with the first man this long if u didn't have deep feeling that r going to really hurt when u try to stop them u can't dam a raging river
2006-12-20 00:30:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋