#1 - boyfriend and girlfriend living together for three years,
#2 - boyfriend and girlfriend both gain weight over time, but boyfriend gains a lot more than girlfriend,
#3 - boyfriend says he's not really attracted to girlfriend anymore because she has gained a little weight,
#4 - boyfriend and girlfriend both smoke cigarettes, but boyfriend says girlfriend is ugly when she smokes, that smoking makes her unattractive,
#5 - boyfriend hardly ever has sex with girlfriend, and prefers to watch porn after she goes to sleep,
#6 - boyfriend keeps chatting with strange women on cell phone, claims they're "just friends" and it's "innocent", although there has been phone sex (also, boyfriend would never allow girlfriend to do this...he would freak if she chatted with other men),
#7 - girlfriend is tired of the way things are and has mentioned moving out, but boyfriend gets all emotional and cries and begs her not to leave him, says he loves her...
What do you think of this??
2006-12-19 23:41:28 · 31 answers · asked by Heather C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Boyfriend is an @rsehole and needs a good slap hunni
2006-12-19 23:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say it is time to leave. People generally gain weight when they are content and settle within the relationship so that is normal. What is not normal is the lack of sex between the two of you and the fact that he prefers to look at porn after you have gone to bed. The biggest no no of all is the fact that he is chatting with other women and having phone sex and his negative comments towards you. He is trying his hardest to make you feel worthless and little so that he can feel better about himself. That is not fair nor is it necessary. You have to keep in mind that you are a wonderful person and that this is not what you intended for the rest of your life. If you can have a serious conversation with him about the things he is doing and how it is affecting you and he can actually comprehend it the lines of communication may open. But you mentioned that you have tried to move out and then he gets emotional. Were is all that emotion when he is chatting and having phone sex or belittling you. Stay strong and get out, your life will improve in so many different ways. Stop feeling guilty and start feeling strong. You deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you and encourages you. Start getting active again and lose that weight you have gained. Keeping busy will be the best thing for you. I wish you all the best.
2006-12-19 23:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is knocking you to feel better about his self , dont let him , maybe suggest doing a energetic hobby for the new year to help both of you loose a little weight and kick start your relationship , he sounds depressed to me , also you need to sort out the sex thing , would he like to experiment more in bed and watch and renact the porn hes watching on his own , could be the start to some great sex .
i cant comment on smoking as i do smoke and dont want to give up , i enjoy it and smoking is ugly but remind him that he looks the same as you with a fag hanging out of his mouth .
its this or nothing as you cant let him knock you like that .
the women on the phone is unacceptable , full stop .
if he wants you hes truthfull and stops now !!
make a little contract between the pair of you give it to the end of jan if your still not happy then go , leave and dont look back .
a horrible situation for you , hope it works out 1 way or another , all the best for 2007 . x
2006-12-19 23:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by j.j. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
#1 Girlfriend leaves boyfriend.
#2 Girlfriend joins a gym.
#3 Girlfriend enjoys hot bath in her new apartment while listening to her favorite CD's and having a nice glass of wine for a while she stays by herself enjoying "herself" and what "she wants" for a change not caring what anyone else thinks/says.
#4 Girlfriend meets wonderful man and falls in love.
#5 Ex-boyfriend realizes he's a jerk.
#6 Girlfriend tells him "dont worry you'll find somebody".
#7 Girlfriend is secure in her wonderful new life.
2006-12-19 23:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by sassinya 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he is playing you. If he has gained weight and a lot more then you, he certainly has no right to suggest not having sex because of it, plus the smoking thing, neither of you should smoke, but at the very least he cant complain if you are both doing it.
2006-12-20 00:26:13 · answer #5 · answered by finished 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boyfriend hates himself.That is what i clearly see in this scenario.( i think b/f loves her by the emotion he shows when she threatens to leave but he has self hatred for himself and acts out on her)
What the couple should do is set some goals as a couple and actually try to achieve them like working out together....quitting the cigs together....
Boyfriend needs to stop talking to strange women....
The sex will come again in the process of completing goals once both parties confidence levels are back where they should be.
If these two people cant work to change then it's time to call it quits because the relationship is no longer productive.
girlfriend should try to encourage change in herself and him (he needs it the most)
2006-12-19 23:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by @ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE from reading all your previous questions, you need to go your separate ways if he isnt making you happy. And if your boyfriend doesnt want sex with you there ids definetly something wrong he is getting it somewhere. all men want sex it is a biological need and they will **** anything with a hole. I have gained alot of weight in my 7 years of a relationship and my boyfriend who is in excellent shape wants it from me all the time, even when I feel so UGLY, but I have learned it doesnt matter what you look like he eventually will need sex, so he is getting satisfied another way!
2006-12-22 12:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like boyfriend is a fat, smoking, lazy cheating jerk. If girlfriend has any sense she will run away and not come back. That would be very smart girlfriend. I wish girlfriend happiness with nice new boyfriend. Merry Xmas girlfriend !!!!
2006-12-19 23:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your boyfriend have slipped into a dysfunctional relationship. You need to stop the threats of moving out and really do it. If I were you I would be getting some counseling to help me pick out men. Women have a tendency to let men pick them and then they just go along. Instead, think of the qualities that you would like in a man and how you would like to be treated. Then date only men who seem to have these qualities. Don't settle for less.
2006-12-19 23:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Boyfriend is lost cause.
2. Girlfriend moves out and begins living her life.
3. Boyfriend gets to keep porn collection and phone calls to make him happy.
4. Girlfriend finds true happiness.
The End!
2006-12-19 23:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by kja63 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you add all of them together it equals= leave.
He just doesn't seem to be into anymore, and nit-picks. Maybe he still loves you but there is no passion left. You really do want to this out, you need to talk to him about all of these points. Also think about how your sex life is. If he is choosing porn over the real thing with you, maybe he is into to something else that the two of you are not doing.
Hey feel free to contact me, been through some of the same with my wife.
Good luck-
2006-12-19 23:49:21 · answer #11 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋