you have tried everything from using toys in sexplay, dressing up, roleplaying, giving lapdances, watching porn together, 3somes, etc etc. Our sexlife is nothing like it used to be - he seems happy enough but for me it is becoming like a chore when he mentions it, so we haven't been doing it much recently, which makes him resentful & unhappy & causes problems.
Any other suggestions on what we can do to get a good sex-life back?
2006-12-19 23:30:16 · 18 answers · asked by Cori 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Floss - yes, I have tried everything.
2006-12-19 23:44:28 · update #1
If the relationship is just about sex, then there is no reason for it to flame-out so to speak. The answer is that relationships generally are NOT just about sex. In fact, that excitement you felt trying all of those new things was great for the short term, but extremely damaging in the long term. Relationships are about caring for one another, and a great long-term sex life relies on that intimate bond that is NOT physical. The problem is that intimate bond is severly damaged when introducing other people into the bedroom or when doing something selfish for the sake of pure physical pleasure. The fact of the matter is, that even though typically it is the guy that starts introducing these things, he's usually the one that is most severly psychologically damaged by it.
Try improving your relationship first and let it lead into loving, caring sex and see what happens.
2006-12-20 00:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you seem to have tried everything to spice up the sex, but maybe that is not the problem, it could be a problem with the general relationship. you need to go back to basics, start leaving notes around the house for him, let each other know how you feel and love each other. Dont have sex! you need to make love...
send each other text messages during the day, go back to dating him... try meating up for a meal but get there seperatly, dont go together, try this for 2 weeks and dont have sex during this time. kiss, cuddle etc but no foreplay or sex.
you can then begin foreplay but not full on during the second week, but dont enjoy it to the full just a quick touch of his **** and him your breast, tease one another to the point that you both want to explode - then stop dont do anything.
move on then, just have oral sex, over the phone, through emails, etc. take long baths together but dont have sex.
now were into the third week, it should be time now for you to have intercouse but dont forget the foreplay and tell each other what you want from sex during the weeks upto this point.
give it a go!! hope it works for you...
2006-12-19 23:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by jojo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever masturbate in front of each other ? Do you do other things like give each other massages ? You need to be more intimate with each other in the bedroom. You're in a long term relationship that needs working on. Have baths together.... I don't know but Toys and whips and chains aren't working.... Try this...
2006-12-22 11:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the trouble with monogamous marriages, things become perfunctory and ordinary.. You have already mentioned some of the obvious things used to spice up sex lives,.
It sounds like you too are game for a laugh then why not try swinging!. adds spice without wrecking marriages, or telling each other that its OK to have an affair. why not carry on a e-mail cyber type thing in secret, sometimes the imagination fires up the ole sex drive no end.
2006-12-19 23:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by robert x 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
try some normal everyday sex. Maybe you two are trying TOO hard. Have a romantic candle lit shower together, and tke it from there to the bed. You should see that sex is about love, not pleasure, and everything will be fine
x
xxxx x x x
2006-12-19 23:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by October Sky 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying you guys are nuts, but try therapy. Seriously, try sex therapy. If you have issues, or he has issues, work them out. Me and my husband went through the same thing, and all I had to do was bring out my evil side in the bedroom. Now, he won't leave "her" alone!! Our sex life is great again.
2006-12-19 23:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd just split up if I were you. Doesn't sound like you're compatible and if none of that lot works, then nothing will. Though I suppose you could try and make things a bit more romantic?
2006-12-19 23:33:49 · answer #7 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The lust in the relationship seems to have gone! especially on your part, maybe you have come to the end of the line and the relationship is over!! Do what you now think is best. For you both!!!
2006-12-19 23:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just leave him and start a new relationship. Better that, then the 2 of you being unhappy.
2006-12-19 23:34:45 · answer #9 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget other peoples suggestions and turn ons. What are yours? No, don't tell me! Tell your husband. Clearly, there is something going on that is making you feel less sexual. Why? No, don't tell me! Tell your husband or your doctor as it could be a mood/hormonal problem.
2006-12-19 23:34:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋