Can men and women just be friends?

Question

my best mate and I, male and female - both married. Have both comment that each other are attractive, lovely etc - but both love our partners - we text everyday, speak most days - once drunk, walked home hand in hand, had long hug - nothing else, was that wrong? what is crossing the line?

Answer 1

I was in a similar situation when I was married. He was a friend of my husband and I. We were very close, and although we did admit our feelings to each other we did nothing about it until about a year after I left my husband (this wasn't the reason I left my husband). We had some great times together but, eventually the sexual chemistry we had fizzled out and our relationship changed, in short I lost a good friend. So what I'm saying is hugs are ok, but don't take it further as that would be crossing the line and it could ruin a great friendship.

Answer 2

It's great to have such a relationship. I have a few like that and I am very happy about it. Appreciate and don't think there is something wrong. On the contrary - it's wonderful :)

As for crossing the line... I'm not sure. Hugs, holding hands and kisses on the cheeks are ok to me. Kisses on the mouth (neck, ears) are not. Or anything that would upset your partner.

People are just too different, so it depends... Some men and women can and some can't just be friends.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong SO FAR, but sounds like you have an attraction to each other, I've got 'friends' like that, meaning if we weren't involved with other people we'd probably have some kind of romantic relationship, only you know in your heart if you'll act on it or not, obviously you can be attracted to people but never be together because you are in love with someone else. On the other hand, my best friend is male and we truly are just friends, always have been, always will be, he's a great guy but we have no chemistry and never have done, we just happen to get along.

Answer 4

My best mate is a male. I'm married and he's in a long term relationship. We've known each other 17 years. We have never crossed the line drunk or sober. They say that we are friends with people that we are attracted to and it is possible to remain friends without falling in to bed with each other. Holding hands and hugging is fine but it's when you start getting aroused by it. That's when you've crossed the line.

Answer 5

I think the best test is to imagine your partner doing what you are doing e.g. would you be happy with your wife walking hand in hand and a long hug and telling her 'best guy friend' he's attractive. If you're cool, then great...if you think there's something wrong with it, then you've answered your own question. Also, the 2nd test is whether you would tell your wife you walked hand in hand etc. If not, why not? If you would behave that way in front of your wife, then nothing the matter with it. If yoou do it behind her back and don't tell her for fear she'd get upset, then you have respect issue for your wife. Ask your wife for her opinion on this - after all, you did walk down the aisle with her....

Answer 6

I had a male best friend, we were friends for a good couple of years and people used to say why didnt we date and stuff and I was horrified, I didnt find anything about him attractive and couldnt imagine kissing him let alone having sex with him. He felt the same about me, we were just really good friends that was 5 yrs ago and now we have a house together and a 2 yr old. So i think very rarely you can be best friends with someone of the oppisite sex because love can grow and as for crossing the line maybe u already have emotionally and thats why u are asking your question.

Answer 7

I have many male friends who I adore. I also know the difference between those and the guys who's clothes I want to rip off. Some of my friendships are very long term and nothing has ever happened or been said to think otherwise. I know and they know that it would ruin a very good friendship and we just love each other for who we are, what we can bring into each others lives and the most beautiful friendships that I have. So yes.........they can x

Answer 8

I believe they can ! Hugs are acceptable , holding hands aren`t . I have a great friend (male) from England , we were very close and were always having a laugh online and texts etc but i never hear from him now as his girlfriend is insecure about it . I have been married for 14 yrs , been with my hubby for 17 yrs in total , and would never cross that fine line with my friend as my heart belongs to my husband .

Answer 9

This question always gets me. I would have always said yes, I had lots of male friends at the time I met my boyfriend, and he hated it and would always say that men and women can NEVER be just friends, because the man ultimately always wants a piece of the woman. I told him this was ridiculous and carried on with my friendships. Since that time, all three of my male friends had made some kind of sexual reference or "pass" at me, in a way that was definitely more than just friends. I no longer have these male friends.

However, I found some emails in my boyfriend's account from a girl he worked with...low and behold, they were just friends...because men and women *can* be just friends....when it suits him!!!!

The answer is no, unless you're both totally not what the other would go for in the opposite sex. My boyfriend's "friend" is physically his type...and although my male friends were not my type...I soon found out that I was theirs.

Answer 10

No it wasnt crossing the line if you're truly just friends, you would behave like this with your girl friends and its acceptable.
i think for a male - female purely platonic relationship to work both parties need to make sure there is 100% no sexual feelings etc towards the other. i think these friendships can happen and be fantastic but in my experience one or the other always ends up fancying the other and leading to problems. depends on every situation i suppose.