He's the father of my son, we'd been together for more than 5 years. He CHEATS on me whenever he gets the chance but aside from that, he seems fine (i.e he cooks for me, cleans the house, very responsible, sweet)... and now he wants me back... what should i do? honestly, I have now learned to live without him. Would you think I will be selfish if I won't give him a chance and not glue "our" family together for the sake of our son?
2006-12-19 22:08:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have answered your own question, you have indeed learned to live without him. Why put yourself through the heartache and the mental anguish of his games? Sounds to me like your the true grownup here. You dont need another child when you already have one that doesnt deserve whats going on.
2006-12-19 23:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by citygirl22_1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No l don't think you are being selfish at all. He may be sweet and cook and clean but he's not really responsible or he would not keep cheating on you every chance he gets.If you have learned to live without him, l'd say good for you and keep it that way. Why does he want you back ? Just so he has someone to cheat on again. Do not go back to him just for your son. He will only cheat again and neither you or your son need that. Make a new life for yourself and your son and forget about going back to him, you do not need him. Good luck and Merry Xmas.
2006-12-20 06:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, some people can't be tied down. Maybe lower your expectations about him. He probably won't change. You don't have to let him full-time into your familly's life. He will just bring more chaos. Wait for the right man. Enjoy your ex's cooking and sex or whatever, let him spend time with your child. But let him know the score so he doesn't get his hopes up. Someday your prince may come. In the mean time you are self-sufficient, so you don't need him. He can keep seeing your son.
Being in a bad marriage does not help the kids.
2006-12-20 07:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by Jack P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To get back to together for the sake of your child is wrong. A child watches the interaction between his parents, and learns. Hence your child will be conditioned that it is okay to cheat, and disrespect the union of commitment. You state that you have learned to live w/o him, and I'm sure you are feeling more in control of your own life. Your partner needs to mature and get a sense of self , and not feed his ego with outside partners. The fact that he is cheating is his problem that he must deal with. Once that is realized and changed, then, you can consider a reunion with him. But never think of going back only for the sake of your child. There are many children with estranged parents that have a healthy life.
2006-12-20 06:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Maryjane 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are selfish if you try to get back with him for the sake of having a whole family unit. Don't allow your son to be influenced by this man more than he absolutely has to. Do you want your son to grow up and be a womanizer too?
2006-12-20 07:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men never change with this cheating thing, i think its in them blood , even if they can be a perfect husband at home, if u go back to him u should know that he will sure do it again. Its all up to u if u can live with it , or else put him a condition to go first together to a specialist in marriage problems , maybe that will help him change. And then u will see if its worth it or not. I know if it wasn't for your child u will probably leave him .. Good luck anyhow !
2006-12-20 06:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by AlinaU 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont ever put your happiness and also in thos case life on the line for this guy....him being the father of your kid does not mean he can hurt you repeatedly and you accept him back just because you two have a baby.Wake up and smell the coffee.
he is not different now from what he was before.
Be careful as you dont know what he is carrying now.
2006-12-20 06:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by babes28 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your shoes, I tried it and got my heartbroken every time I would answer the phone and hear a woman asking for my husband, got tired of it and left him and now I have the best man in the world, he cooks, works, cleans, doesn't cheat! My best advice is to keep moving along without him! Hope everything works out great for you!!! :0)
2006-12-20 06:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Not selfish. Doesn't mean you have to suffer a spouse who cheats on you constantly just for your children. The children can have contact with both parents as it is. Live your life, don't let anyone guilt you out of it.
2006-12-20 06:13:49 · answer #9 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
being d father of ur son if he can cheat u once he can cheat u any number of times...parenting is more of a feeling than just a mere responsibility....i dont think dis guy is matured enuf to take care of a child....hez just takin advantage of d soft corner dat u hav 4 him...if he wud've luved u soo much he wudnt hav cheated on u in d 1st place...be a bit more strong n u'll c d difference..i know u can do it!! cheer up!!
2006-12-20 06:17:35 · answer #10 · answered by <<<???>>> 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋