since then I cant eat or sleep. I kicked her out of the house when i found out. I know it sound odd but i miss her but when she calls i get angry at her for what she did. Any help out there?
2006-12-19 21:47:53 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, she cheated and violated your trust, has changed the entire dynamics of your life, your relationship together. Of-course you are going to feel pain and sadness. Just give your self some time. Wait until you are not so emotionally charged and have come to grips with the reality of what has happened and then make a choice on what your going to do. Do what is best for you, not for her. You may want to seek some counseling. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-19 21:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband has cheated on my three times. The 1st the woman told me about. Then a few years later, and right after or daughter was born, I found naked pics of another woman on his phone. Then he kicked out of the house s o he he could be with some other home wrecker about 5 months ago. My point being is this. I KNEW my husband wa s a ceater but i stayed with him because I love him s o much. It got tothe point that I couldn't take it a nymore. He and this other woman are no longer togther. HI s mother just had a stroke about a month ago, and then a few days ago he had a heart attack. he is only 22. I am 21. Now that he needs soeone there to help him, he is begging me to come back. Which I can't do. I can't take the lies, and the sneaking around. I love my husband, but there comes a point in time when loving smeone and being IN love with someone are two very different things. I have never seen a relationship last where cheating was involved. I hve seen the same people get back togther years later and live very happily, but that doubt it always in the pack of their minds. You can stay with your wife and prolly end up depressed and mentaly unstable or you can reak things off. You could always try a seperation for a few months to see if that helps. The seperation however didnt helpme. My views are, He said 'I do' to me and not those other women. He should have remembered his vows. I am still married to my husband but I am in the middle of a divorce. Does that mean I am going to go out to a bar find a stranbger a nd go have sex? No. I am still married and those a re my views. Sorry about Ranting to you a bout this. I just havent really vented about all of this at all. I would advise you totalk with your friends a nd family, youhave no clue how helpful they can be.
2016-05-22 23:32:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there you have it.
Stupid infidelity strike again.
If she is truly remorseful and begs some forgivness, with a promise to NEVER do it again. Take her back for a second chance. Yea, I know she hurt hurt you, more than anyone else ever could. If you toss her to the curb you do not gain anything.
The hurt has been inflicted and cannot be changed. If she is truly sorry give her a chance to make it up. ONCE. Its the holidays, give her that ONE second chance ( and only one). Make sure she understands fully that at this point you are taking her back only because you think it could work BUT if it happens again she goes to the curb with her clothes and nothing else. If she comes back it is on your terms and there will be no spousal support leaving her with the house or any of that BS. She can come back if she wants and she better be sorry, really sorry. Then make sure she describes what she was thinking and why she did it. She'll come up with some lame " It was a mistake" crap when she means " I wanted to send a message". Give her the message that she is a cheat and lucky to be still married.
Re write the rules give her the direction she must need and move on. You can get over it in time and it is hard.
This only works if she wants it to. Make sure her penance lasts say a year.
The hurt will not be less if you toss her so figure it out and get some payback, and not by cheating.
Been There.
Yes, still together 25 years later.
Make sure to continue on YOUR terms now. She gave up the right to unconditional love.
2006-12-19 23:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger and hurt are the first emotions to surface in a situation such as this. The next step would be to get together to talk out the situation to discover why and what you two should and could do from that point. If it is possible to forgive and go on with your marriage it would be wonderful. If there should be a time apart to ease the horrible hurt, so be it. Remember, communication is the most important part of a marriage along with the friendship. A deep and lasting love is the result and a basis for solving problems that arise during any marriage. Marriage is never perfect and always requires maintenance in one form or another. Never neglect each others feelings would be a great start. AND calm conversation regarding your present problems.
2006-12-19 21:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this kind of thing is very difficult, and more so just around the holidays. what your feeling is normal. if i were you i would not answer when she calls, let the machine pick it up. if you have kids together then you have no choice other than to call her back , but if you don't then don't return the call. make sure you spend the holidays with your family.not alone. it has been just a few days give it time. i would not take her back.that's for sure. because if what you had to offer was not good enough before then she will think its not good enough now and cheat again.
2006-12-19 22:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE you blind as well as deaf? What you have in your relationship is a failure to communicate. Even now you're not letting your wife communicate to you.
Think about WHY she cheated in the 1st place. Was it because you were not available or maybe you were so self absorbed about your own needs and self that you forgot about your wife and listening to her. When women cheat it's a cry for attention and maybe you were not providing it for her.
Even the very act of her cheating you're trying to draw attentions to yourself by not eating or sleeping. Why don't you sit down and talk to your wife and this time when she's talking LISTEN to her....don't judge her and don't get angry with her!
If you miss her you still love her. But you've kicked her even out of the marital residence....you should really be ashamed of yourself---
Make an appointment to day and both of you get into couples counseling. It could save you $$$$$$$$ in divorce costs and filing fees. You've already committed a crime--(UNLAWFUL eviction)---your wife could actually sue you right now for that!
2006-12-19 22:30:23 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So sorry to hear of such trouble at such a joyous time of the year. Maybe you should give her a chance and find out exactly WHY she cheated on you. Maybe she tried to talk to you...maybe her needs were unmet. Did you give her the attention she needed? Were you romantic with her? I'm sure she loves you and I know you love her. At first you were angry (who wouldn't be?), then in denial and now you are feeling the pain. I suggest you meet somewhere out of the home and discuss this over coffee. If you love her, do this and try to find room in your heart to forgive her.
2006-12-20 01:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she want forgiveness, or is it over for her? If she wants to be forgiven, let her come to you. Only if you truly feel you can forgive her and get on with your lives together should you take her back. Otherwise, it's a lost cause. Her infidelity will always come up in fights and just continue to erode the relationship.
Either way, seek a good counselor, with or without her.
2006-12-19 23:25:31 · answer #8 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable that you would be devastated. When you decide to meet her, do so at a coffee house where you both can be civil. Talk about what has happened. It would be good if she can tell you why she did what she did. Don't react to her, no matter what she wants. Tell her you will think about it and get back to her. IF you decide to give her another chance, get some counseling. Good luck. Take care.
2006-12-19 23:19:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! It is not odd that you kicked her out of the house! You also should file for divorce! You cannot show any mercy to someone like that! Once a cheater: Always a cheater! File for divorce and re-claim everything that belongs to you! If it where me I would make sure she never comes back to my house! I would have her clothes waiting for her outside in the yard! Rain or shine! If you where faithful to her; you deserve better!
2006-12-19 21:52:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋