Hello.I have a very close friend who I work with. I am also gay and with someone. For years my feelings for her have gone up and down - I have struggled because I do not want to risk loosing what we have. At times I feel it is mutual - other times I am not so sure. She also has a partner (husband) This is not purely sexual, it goes deeper then that .Whos to say I am not confused! If you know how I am feeling - and you have a way of helping me out I would be thank full.
2006-12-19 19:50:04 · 11 answers · asked by tracie100star 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The perfect solution, since you consider yourself to having a sexual attraction to persons of the same sex, is the “ménage à trois”. Taking the best of both worlds you can have the opportunity to clarify your feelings without hurting the feelings of her husband.
2006-12-19 19:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Could be that she feels safe in your friendship because she may never expect you to fancy her because you say you're gay - or she may secretly have liked you for however long but thought it never possible because she thought you'd never feel that way. You could confide in her about some confusion you're having about a made up someone else, another girl - who you where friends with a while back, explain she has husband etc but possibly you like her more - you could judge how shocked she is, or jealous, or distant - also gives her an idea that you are having some confusion about your sexuality .
I wish you all the luck though, can't be easy - you need some resolution whatever it maybe. I'm sure if she's a good friend, you wont lose her whatever the emotional outcome.
2006-12-19 20:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both in relationships, she is married and straight, you are gay, there is a whole load of obstacles in the way here, and you do not want to be breaking up her relationship, or having an affair. I would say back off, leave her relationship out of it, and if she makes the decision to leave her husband for you then take it from there. However, if you try and get in the way of her relationship or break up her marriage then you could look like the "baddy" and lose her friendship all together.
2006-12-19 20:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you are confused and you're not even sure if she is feeling the same way. What is there to be confused about? She hasn't made any move on you right? If you really care for her, don't destroy her relationship with her husband or your friendship. Don't do it.
2006-12-19 20:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by Cream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your position yes but I am crazy in love with my bf, and he likes his gf.
I have had a thing for him since i was 4/5 and he was 7/8 we were like brother and sister but its grown into a love so i put it down to being close id be afriad to do anything for fear of losing him
2006-12-19 20:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by rosa_govan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say you can have both relationships
but if your relationship to this girl is platonic and not sexual . the problem may be her hubby may think it safe you chatting because you are gay if he thought otherwise you may in for a hospital visit of a serious nature
2006-12-19 20:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by The tagg master 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry, have her as a close intimate friend.
Someone you can talk to, share secret, drink coffee with.
There is so much things you can do and with a close friend.
All for it.
2006-12-19 19:59:42 · answer #7 · answered by ricodzeus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's fun to have a crush, but you both should focus on your own partners. try to channel that "ooh yay" feeling she gives you into areas of your life where it will do you some good and not get you into trouble.
2006-12-19 19:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try it for a bit, dont get caught, enjoy yourself and if it feels right then go for it as a couple!
2006-12-19 19:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by mrwurzal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two should have a intimate moment. women gain experience through other women, that's how they learn to love.
2006-12-19 21:48:50 · answer #10 · answered by rjhamuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋