I have been sharing a really good relationship with my husband during the first few years of our marriage..but after all these years,he says..relationship isnt so interesting..
any ways to make it interesting again?? friends..do help me..
any tips please???
NO MEAN COMMENTS PL...
2006-12-19 19:37:48 · 8 answers · asked by For peace 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One of the myths in our society is that couples will always retain that "in love" feeling they first had at the very beginning of their relationship. That "feeling" doesn't last. It shouldn't fade away entirely, but it should blossom into something different, deeper, and more meaningful.
In the beginning everything was new and exciting because you were "discovering" each other. As a marriage matures, the relationship becomes more comfortable. If we're honest with ourselves, we like what's comfortable and familiar. It gives us a sense of security. That doesn't mean a marriage should become boring and routine though. You should still work to excite and surprise each other. Good marriages don't just happen, they require effort, compromise, and hard work from the husband and the wife.
Two good books I recommend are: 1) His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley and 2) The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman. I believe both of them have worksheets in the back with questions for you and your husband to answer.
Once you determine each others top needs and primary "love language" (and take the effort to meet these) you should both begin to feel more satisfied in the relationship.
Other ideas are:
1) Take a mini vacation. Whenever my husband and I start to feel bored, a vacation always re-energizes us. Maybe you could "relive" your honeymoon and create new memories?
2) Start a new hobby or pastime together - something that you've both always wanted to try. You never know, you might discover something new about each other.
3) Buy some new lingerie, create a runway in your home, and put on a sexy fashion show for him.
4) Leave each other love notes in unexpected places (his sock drawer, lunch bags, wallet/purse, the car glove compartment, etc.)
5) Buy or make a book of love coupons. There's also two kits you can purchase called 52 weeks of Romance and 52 weeks of Naughty Nights. They come with two sets of scratch-off cards - one set for you and one set for him. You take turns drawing cards and then enacting what they say. My husband loved this!
6) Have you ever tried role-playing? It's like playtime for adults. You could dress up like a sexy nurse and give your "patient" a stimulating sponge bath. Or he could play the doctor and take your temperature. He could dress up as a cop and pretend to arrest you, complete with handcuffs and a pat-down while you try to persuade him to let you off the hook, etc, etc.
You both should just use your imagination and have fun. The keys to a long-lasting and fullfilling relationship are good communication and a willingness to work at it. Good luck!
2006-12-19 22:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Create space within your family that you and your husband can relive your first years of good relationship. This means making time for each other, reliving may be that experience of falling in love that you had experienced.
Try to appreciate him for what he is. Tell him how much he means to you. Bring in moments of prayer, sharing and relaxing into your daily routine.
Prepare good meals for both of you and make meal time a healthy one with relaxed conversations.
2006-12-20 03:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Tere - educator & professor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's bored, he should do something about it. What a bum! He's blaming you for something that is more than likely his fault. I'm guessing you were blind-sided by this expression of boredom from your husband, so ask him why he's bored and ask him what he thinks HE (and you to help 'cause it is a two person relationship) should do about it!
2006-12-20 04:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start doing the things you used to do when you first started to go out. Ask him why its not interesting any more.
2006-12-20 04:20:21 · answer #4 · answered by Yonni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something on spur of the moment without any expectations. It does happen, but I have seen that work with some people! I wish you luck it will pass.
2006-12-20 03:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
zip-loc bags. about $2 for a box in the supermarket. just put your relationship in there and make sure to keep it in the fridge or freezer. and don't let any cockroaches, ants, or other bugs get to it
2006-12-20 05:44:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It gets that way once in a blue moon doesnt it?
Spontaneous is good. little love notes. learn about each other again..
For instance..I though I knew everything about hubby yet, his favorite color changed and I didnt know it...new things to learn ...
2006-12-20 03:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well take them out to new places or take a runaway vaxction and just be yall two and do ya thang
2006-12-20 11:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by fenkell_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋