it is a serious questiona and sorry if it appears blunt. I know most parent would not send their children back, but would like to know if they feel life may have been better without them.
2006-12-19 19:25:21 · 36 answers · asked by oceanwaves 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not think it ruins your life.If you have children you do not know what your life would have been like without them so you can not make a comparison.What it does is complicate things somewhat .You lack the support of another adult and may even still run up against prejudice.You may lack the company of a grown up and get well and truly sick of scrimping and saving.I think all parents single or not at sometime have doubts and sneaky little thoughts of complete freedom,lack of always being on call ,sneak into their minds.You may be more tied as a single parent but at least you have the freedom to do your own thing without somebody breathing down your neck telling you what you should be doing .I brought a son up alone and believe you me it was tough.I worked and was worn out.Sometimes I wondered what the hell I'd let myself in for!He was a happy kid and I laughed and played with him ,the joy he has given me far out weighs all the problems we had.Childhood does not last forever --although I bet you think it feels like it.!!He is now a grandad and I know that life with out him would have been a poor substitute for the one I have had but didn't always want.
2006-12-19 19:59:33 · answer #1 · answered by Xtine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF you are a person- who is very self-indulgent, self centered, selfish.... (there are people like this,) then YES being a single PARENT could Ruin YOUR LIFE.
At the same time, it proabably would be no different if this type of person, were to be in a two parent situation.. Same thing. RUIN "YOUR" LIFE!
If your not just into YOU, then, NO absolutely Not... Never would I use that word to describe the way a child can change your whole world, when you now have to go beyond yourself.
Im a single parent, and I wont Lie, it is hard as hel* sometimes. Lots of the time! But So worth it. You dont have the freedom you once did, or the $$$ to spend on the frivilous stuff you once did... but it all works it self out....
wish you all the luck in the world... be strong...
2006-12-19 20:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by Mikez Bad Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there !! Parenting is such a serious issue, because we are responsible for the upbringing of another human being, we are their world, and we help mold them into becoming adults that will be the future of the world.
Enough said about that, a child is a blessing. No child in my opinion ruins anyones life. An unwanted child may cause pain, financial woes and many other complicated situations, for this reason WE SHOULD THINK BEFORE WE ENGAGE IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE if we do no want to have children. I would not be a single parent by choice, but if it happened, I would deal with the situation, and remember that everything happens for a reason. A child teaches us so many things about us, about the world. We learn from our children just as they learn from us. It is a win win situation.
Whatever situation you are in at this time, I wish you peace and serenity.
Happy holidays
love light and peace
2006-12-19 19:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of good answers. I have 2 little girls (now 3 and 4 1/2) that for the longest time after their mother and i divorced, would not stop acting up in public. I (or she) would go to pick them up from daycare, and not only would they scream and kick, but take off running! I had to chase my oldest daughter down the block, and i finally caught up to her literally 3 blocks away. And the 2 of them would fight so bad they would draw blood. I don't know if it was just a phase they were going through, but the lack of stability in their lives I imagine had a lot to do with it. Now I have since remarried, have another baby on the way, and a great job. Their mother is doing okay too. about the only thing you can do is to be consistent. Every single time, no matter how frustrating to you, act the same with them. And insist on their daycare provider doing the same. Consistency and stability are crucial to young children growing up with as little problems as possible. Hope that helps
2016-05-22 23:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It certainly doesn't ruin your life but it does make it harder.
I found that because he was only 6 months old, I was constantly tired. I worked full time, bought own house and dealt with all the sleepless nights. Put together with very little funds, it was quite stressful.
I felt it made things like spending quality time together difficult as I was so tired all the time.
That said, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. It was the best decision to leave his father (his father did see him ever Friday night) as things just weren't right between us and i never saw that changing.
We were really cosy just the two of us and we used to have a good chuckle when he was older. The thought of never having him in the first place or wishing he wasn't here any more never crossed y mind - even when things got on top of me at times. He is my little treasure and always will be.
There comes a time when socialising and being carefree is not as exciting as it used to be.
2006-12-19 23:37:51 · answer #5 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the party pooper, but yes, having children, (especially unintentionally) while single, does indeed ruin your life. I'm sure most single parents would never give up their child for anything and love them to, yet am also sure most would say if they could do it over they would not have had a child while single. Raising a child alone is very hard, not only for you, but for the child as well. Studies after studies have shone that both male and female children develop best in two parent families, and both need good male/female role models. Having a child while single also limits so many of life's options because now you will have to stay at home to take care of your child. I , for example had to put off being an exchange student in another country, and may have to reconsider my major in college due to an unplanned pregnancy. I also had to sign up for wel-fare because I had to quit one of my jobs after having my baby. I am still struggling to finish college while working and taking care of a 3 week old baby ( can't get day care until she is at least 6 weeks)... let me tell you, life is tough! As for my social life...gone! So if you're not pregnant yet, please take a good look at your life and consider how a child will fit in, and wheather or not it's a good choice for your baby, because ultimatly the child is the one who will suffer the most if born into a less than ideal family situation. If you are pregnant, then I give you my best wishes for a bright future with your little baby!! :-)
2006-12-19 19:43:30 · answer #6 · answered by kefirasmom 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Having children is a blessing, and no one would ever in their right mind not want them.
However they put an awful stain on relationships whether your married or not.
Once you have a child everything changes, you are now not the center of your world .......the kids usually come first.....( its important to take some me time )........but they have to be considered in every single thing...........you cant just " go out" even to the shops, every decision that's is made now comes with the consequence of having other little people to consider.
Once you become a parent your whole out look on life changes............you never know the true meaning of the word WORRY...............until you have kids!
2006-12-19 21:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a single parent and I love EVERY SINGLE moment of it. My daughter has inspired me to do so much. So what if I can't go to the club every night, being a mother is more fullfilling than a club could ever be. And all those people who said all that negative stuff, that's why birth control was created USE IT. If being a parent is so HORRIBLE, give the child to someone who won't feel like the child is a burden, but a BLESSING
2006-12-19 20:35:39 · answer #8 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It does to an extent, Im 26 and have a child who is 2.
I cannot do what I want anymore , when I want.
I live with a guy Im not in love with anymore (babys dad) so getting out is hard, since there would be a custody case.
I do think that having my boy is the best thing in the world, I wouldnt change that part for a million dollars, he has changed me and I feel much more adult now that I have him.
H eis my reason for waking up everyday and wanting to better myself.
The only real down side, is what i mentioned...you cant do what you when you want...always gotta plan things out first.
2006-12-19 19:31:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If there is any way possible to avoid becoming a single parent, up to and including puttting the child up for adoption, it is worth considering. I kick myself every day for not giving my son the happy, loving family that is his birthright. And I know that he is just as disappointed as I am in every rediculous excuse for a man that comes into our lives. On the other hand, my son is very loving and sweet, perhaps he would not have been if he'd had the influence of a "man" in his life (or miserable excuse therof) but I'd be dead to think of my son not alive, especially because of anything I did.
2006-12-19 19:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋