Why do people tell others to live by morals that don't work in reality? For example.....?

Question

Example: the moral of "telling the truth", & "being honest". From what I've learned, people don't want to hear the truth, they only want to hear what they want you to say.

Example of that is: A person tells you to stop being negative about a topic. They say they want you to be more positive. But they're idea of "being positive", is for you to never mention what you really feel to them about the matter. In fact, you aren't being negative, your being realistic in the way were your seeing both the positive & negative of the matter in order to figure out the problem. But your friend feels that just by acknowledging the possible negative, that your being negative.

You learn that all this person wants you to do is say only the positive about the issue, & not mention what you really feel. So you do that from now on, & the person then feels your an easy going, positive person.

I see this especially in the business world. So why be honest when everyone wants dishonesty?

Answer 1

because rich people want you to kiss there ***

Answer 2

I have an idea of what you feel, I have been in situations where poeple call you a pessimist for being realistic.

I think man uses this as some sort of defense against his\her fear of the worst. I believe striking a balance between negative and positive is the only way one can clearly and accuretly judge a situation.

My advice would be that you do not lose yourself in this "Stay positive" talk. If you feel that the negative is rather overwhelming make your decision based on that.

I have learnt to prepare myself for the worst. This way you sort of shock-absorb the disappointment that the negative brings. It is only this line of thinking that trully make you consider your other options and a possible plan B or even C afterall, there are 26 letter in the English Alphabet

So stay postive but be realistic enough to acknowlge the negative - it is an intergral part of any situation.

Answer 3

Well you have a good grip. Try this? Next time you are with your friend, be really graphic and excited about the dead bodies you saw on TV, including some small bodies. Describe the screen in detail.
When he asks why he is being so negative, tell him that you don't understand, like what positive thing could be said about dead children killed my an American rockets or an Iraqi car bomber.
Is he implying that this death of a child is positive?
Also, inform him that you just can't understand these crazy broad definitions of black and white, right and wrong and positive and negative. They are useless descriptions. Is a dead Iraqi child better than a dead American soldier or the other way around?
Bush thinks like that, but look what happened. By the way, if it is a friend or family matter, it is not worth losing a friend or wrecking a family dinner for a war that is and will define its reality in front of our eyes.

Answer 4

You have a very dizzying intellect but you are right. Most people don't want to hear the truth about something because it results in exposure. However, the morals of which you speak mainly refer to everyday living such as not stealing from someone and not lying about certain issues. The business world is not a place where people develop life long personal friends but a place where people step on others to make it to the top. Deceit and treachery are the mainstay of the Corporate Ladder Tutorial. You can see it in politics as well when corporate interests take precedence over the well being of the commonwealth. The current administration is notorious for blatant fabrication.

Answer 5

Morality is a concept, and it involves a higher level of thinking. "Morals" or "moral principles" are guidelines and an attempt to encapsulate and/or put into easy-to-understand words the principles that make up morality.

If a person has a very strong sense of morality he almost doesn't need that list of principles because his morality guides him into making moral decisions.

When it comes to those moral principles (which are a small and sometimes too-simplified part of morality), those principles work very well in situations of being faced with a moral question or dilemma (should I try to find the owner of this radio I just found, or should I just keep it, should I offer to help that elderly man who appears to be dizzy in the grocery store, should I cover for my child who skipped school, etc.) These are moral questions/dilemmas, and using the moral "rules" usually offers the best approach and results.

Sometimes there is a price to pay in the short run, but in the long run applying moral principles to moral questions/dilemmas pays off in a number of ways.

The situation you've tried to apply a moral principle to wasn't really a moral dilemma, but if you want to turn it into one you could think of it this way: You wanted to be honest and voice your opinions. The other person didn't want to hear the negative stuff. (Maybe he just can't deal with negative stuff right now. Maybe he prefers not to be negative. We don't know his reasons, but he probably has them.) So you were faced with going with your own wish/need to express yourself (you have your reasons to believe this would be the way to go in a relationship or a situation) or foregoing your own preferences in favor the other person's.

One moral question is: Should you have done the selfish thing and insisted on expressing as much negativity as you wanted/needed to, or should you have done the unselfish thing and respected the other person's preference?

Bear in mind that this person isn't all people, so your wish to openly express your honest opinion would have been fine if you were with most people (in other words, the honesty thing would work with most people; if someone has an issue it means they're an exception, and rules don't always work with the exception).

You went with what was essentially the moral thing of not making this person uncomfortable or unhappy, so you did use morality in this case. Given what happened, you may now want to mention to this person, "You know, I know you don't like hearing negative things; and I respect that. I would like you to realize, though, that if you censor out my negative remarks you shouldn't then assume I'm positive about something. I hope you understand that I don't say what I'd like to say because you don't like that, but I need you to realize that it doesn't give you a good reading of how I really think."

Telling this person this would give you the chance to express your honesty without disregarding this person's intolerance for negative remarks. You may have to find someone else to talk to about the negative stuff you've had censored, but you could do that. In the meantime, you're done the moral thing of respecting the other person's wishes while also doing the moral thing of being honest.

When you're dealing with a non-black-and-white situation involving humans, as the example you gave is; you need to know how to separate out all the possible factors, decide which ones are potential moral questions, and kind of set up some kind of equation. You then factor in the appropriate moral principles and usually will come up with an answer that does work.

In human interactions where there is no particular right or wrong it isn't like "court rules" or "hotel rules" or "school rules" or "traffic rules". Those are rules and nothing but rules. Following them is pretty black and white. Moral principles are not simple rules. They serve a different purpose and are made up of something more complicated and less concrete.

In the business world, there is the general expectation of morality; and usually if business people aren't honest they are called on the carpet (and into court) over it. Honesty is expected in business and sometimes enforced by laws or company policies. The business world is not the real world, and it is its own little version of a world. It is a small and often artificial world, so the fact that beyond a basic expectation of an underlying morality the "rules of morality" aren't always applied doesn't mean much. After all, when we have small children and wish to provide them some "magic" before they get too old for it we suspend the rules of morality and tell that whopper about the guy in the red suit.
The small world we share with a small child is also its own separate little world with its own occasional exemptions from rigid laws of morality (when the underlying motive is a very moral one).

Morality can be a simple as having a very moral core and just kind of automatically knowing and doing what is moral, or it can be as complex as a x000-piece puzzle for which you must hunt for the pieces before you can see the picture and realize how perfect it is - but either way, morality does work.

Answer 6

Tough question!
We all know that the Truth hurts...
cause every time we ear the truth, we ear about our self....i think it's a deep feeling inadequacy and self image...To ear something that you know especially that you have no or little power over...often seem negative.
Often people are not stupid ..they choose to act stupid...they know if something is bad or wrong they made the decision to ignre it....to ear the bad news from someone else makes them feel bad. It's lke seing yourself naked in a mirror for the first time after 10 years.

Answer 7

Cognitive dissonance is inherent in communication between non-equals. Undistorted, "truthful" information can truly only be shared between mutual equals. You're not going to tell a man with a gun pointed at your head(or a boss threatening to fire you, etc.) anything but what they want to hear. Deception and power games are more important to most people than you may realize. Until and unless the majority of humanity moves toward undistorted, equal communication, we're doomed.

Answer 8

You are talking the business world - which is about wheeling and dealing- if you have something to sell you want to give the positive apects - not the negative- or hope there is no negative-D

Answer 9

I don't care what people will say,this world is full of unfairness anyway. But to keep yourself safe,it's the best to be true to your heart. Morals are there to make things go smoothly,that's all. But if your heart tells you that something is not right,even if moral value says it's wrong,like i said,follow your heart.

Answer 10

the business world is different. seems like people will do anything to get ahead and especially lie. outside of business, personal relationships; it's better to be honest no matter what.

Answer 11

The business world is not the real world.
You lie instead of telling the truth, you smile when you want to yell, you say you love your job while you are vomiting in your mouth.