But the apple does not fall far from the tree with her and the mom. We've been married 16 years. But my husband always feels sorry for his daughter because she is also over weight by a lot. I don't know what is the right thing to do. She feels I judge her to harshly. And starts the "NO TALKING" anymore attitude. She is constantly borrowing money from mine and my husbands joint accoint. He thinks I should not have a problem with this! HE SAYS THAT SHE WILL FIND HERSELF SOON. Yea, like when I run out of money then she will find herself. I love my husband. How can save my marriage and get her to grow up????? All the while I stay sane!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-19 18:47:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
that's really hard. I think you should sit your husband down and really try to talk to him about this. Can she take the money right out of that account? If she can see if he'll take her off so that she at least has to go to him to get money. Can you take the money and put it in a personal account so she can't get much, and he can't give her any? See if he'll agree to only give her a small amount so if she wants more she'll have to earn it. Can he talk to her about finding a job and doing something for herself.
Sorry you're in a tough spot, I hope you can get your husband to see your side of it.
2006-12-19 18:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mandi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to set rules for your stepdaughter. There are ALOT of over weight girls who have jobs. Stop letting her take money and make her pay back some of it.
Her father isnt helping and you should tell him that in the long run he is just hurting her by babying her. Maybe she might evens lose some weight if she had a job. Change the pin on the account and make your hubby see that in fact he could be the reason as to why she is over weight!
As for the stepmom thing, it goes with the territory. So unless your going to give her lots of money and clothes, deal with it. She is an adult and should act like one and if she wants to act like a baby treat her like one.
2006-12-19 19:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
bless your heart , your husband is just enabling her to do nothing! He should step up to the plate, but it could be too late. She is set in her habits now. Can you and your husband afford counseling to know how to handle this? or could you go alone if he won't go? Do you have a pastor to talk to? There is no way I would allow her to get my money. I would open my own personal account, pay my part of the bills, and not let husband or daughter touch it. She needs to get out into the real world.
2006-12-19 19:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by winkcat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First she needs a job so she can get out. Help her get a job or send her to jobcorps. You need to get you another account by yourself. He is not being considerate of your feelings if he is giving her your money also. It's time for her to go! I would make her leave my house everyday from 7a.m. to 4p.m. and when she comes back she better have a job or lost some weight.
2006-12-19 19:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by missshun 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mcdonalds, or the different quickly nutrition resteraunt. Walmart or Dept shops. or maybe production facility artwork yet except that there is not too a lot extra. Alot of jobs require GED or above
2016-11-30 23:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tape one of those Dr. Phil type shows that deals with twenty-something year old kids that won't grow up and let him do the talking to your husband for you.
2006-12-19 18:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by HelloKitty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its part of growing up for some people. im 20 and im goin through that also. try tough love. dont let her access money from the account. the money also belongs to you so you should have a say where it goes.
2006-12-19 18:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jeremy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she really needs as dr phil calls it a wake up call!!! your hubby needs no learnhow to use the would no otherwise it will continue and she will never become independent. it might be helpful to get a third objective party involved this may help in the long run.
2006-12-19 18:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sit down with your husband concenring this. i would suggest therapy for your stepdaughter. she needs to learn not to depend on your guys, to move out, get a job, have her own money, and deal with her overweigth situation.
what i would do is get my half of my money and put it in a seperate account.
2006-12-19 18:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm....she's sixteen. If you couldn't handle children you shouldn't have married a man with one. I think you're the one who needs to grow up.
2006-12-20 08:15:06 · answer #10 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋