Is it me or them?

Question

I have these 3 friends - whom never used to be as close as they are today, anyway, they brought to my attention the other week they are worried about me (I am 23 with a boyfriend of 3 years). They think I am tryingto have a baby (which I am not), and also think I am negative and pesamystic (cant spell). Anyway I found out in the weekend that they have been talking to all sorts of people about me having a baby and how it would be a stupid idea etc. Its only cause they dont agree with mt boyfriend. They have never liked him, and also now think that we are unahppy. Which I might add we have not been this happy before. They came around last night trying to give me advice etc, which turned into one huge argument. THey also think me house has nagative vibs etc. Are these people real friend trying to help me with something I am not aware of, or are they trying to stop me living a life that they cant have right at this moment? I am confused.

Answer 1

if they were real friends they would try to help you and not talk about you behind your back about your personal things.if they don't like your bf it is not your problem.i think they should at least have the decency to respect your decisions and believe you when you tell them that you are not having a baby. just ignore them. they are not worth your attention.

Answer 2

One of the most common things people do is to assume that when someone says something against their living situation that person is probably jealous. Sometimes the person is honestly well-intended.

Having said that (and sort of given these friends the benefit of the doubt), I don't have a lot of use for people who make up something like thinking you're trying to have a baby and then going around talking about what they made up. There's the chance, though, that their thinking you shouldn't have a baby could have something to do with their thinking you should be a little older, married, and maybe with someone who would make a better father.

I generally don't know what to think as far as those friends of yours go, but one thing bothers me: The thing about their saying your house has "negative vibes". Jealous friends may say someone lives in a small house or a house that's too big or too something else, but "negative vibes" isn't usually what a jealous friend would say. That one I kind of think you should listen to. That's the one that kind of makes me think these friends of yours may actually have concerns for you.

I think you should seriously talk to whichever ONE of these friends you most relate to but agree you will both remain calm and objective.

"Negative vibes" usually means there's a person or people who seem miserable, sullen, angry, or depressed; or else it may mean the place is dirty or dark and dank. It could mean there aren't signs of "life" or happiness around - like when some keeps a place attractive and has some pictures and plants around etc. Sometimes it means the place is in a bad area or that it comes across like there may be drug use or too much drinking or both going on. Shades down or ripped, unmade beds, trash, or other mess left around gives off bad vibes. If you have any of this stuff going on that made them say "negative vibes" it isn't that they're jealous.

If they think your negative and pessimistic maybe you are. That could be a sign that you have at least a mild case of depression.

Step back, look at what's going on in your home and relationship and in terms of any future stability/happiness you could have. Ask if this was your friend's life, your sister's life, your mother's life, or - if you can imagine having a daughter - your daughter's life if you'd think its something wonderful and something they should be proud of.

Finally, though, calmly tell all three of them that you are requesting they knock it off about talking about you having a baby. First, you aren't having one right now. Second, you are 23 years old; and it is ultimately your business. Tell them you don't want anything to come in the way of the friendship, but if they keep talking about something they've imagined that's going to create trust issues in the relationships with them; and because yo value their friendship you are asking them to stop.

Politely tell them, "If and when I am ever expecting any babies I'll let you know."

Answer 3

I'm not sure where the truth lies, but from what I've read, I get an impression that your friends really doesn't think your boyfriend is the "one" for you or they are simply jealous of you.

Anyhow, there's no one who can decide if he's the "one" for you other than yourself and if they are just jealous of you, they are so childish to do this kind of stuff.

I personally think that they are not your true friends. I have a very good friend who has a horrible girlfriend(she hits him, she tries to control him, she yells at him, she hates us etc) and my husband & I don't think she's the right one for him. But we wouldn't say that...it's not our place to say such things. All we can do is to be there for him no matter what. Either if he keeps going like this or he breaks up with her. It's been like this almost 4 years and sure it's been very painful, but I believe that we are adult enough to accept this and keep going.

I hope things will get better for you. Good luck and take care!

Answer 4

According to what you wrote, I personally feel that they are just gossipers who has caught hold of you as their topic. They don't sound like a real friend to me. Do not bother to what they are saying since you are not planning to have a baby, this is a useless talk for you. And you are the best judge for yourself so you should decide as to what they really are and not the people visiting yahoo or else you are also doing the same as them. Don't mind my sincere and honest advice. Don't worry be happy.

Answer 5

I think it might be a combination of the two. You're friends might not think that your boyfriend is the right guy for you and are hoping yo see that,they might be insecure at the fact that you are in a happy relationship.Take a few days to let them cool off and try talking to them again in a neutral area,have them explain their reasons for the way they're thinking and then explain how you feel. If they can't be happy for you ,cut em loose.

Answer 6

To be honest-all in all- -it's just jealousy-if you are TRULY happy then tell them to **** off.Simple as that.You don't need anyone in your life that will either bring you down or try and keep you at the same level as them. If I was you I wouldn't tell them all this- I would just try and stay away-

FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION! ALWAYS>>> The mere fact that you have to question their actions tells all.

Answer 7

every one that comes to you in the name of friendship maynot be your friend, but if they have a point with sound reason and you believe their your friends you must lisdten 2 their reasons,don't have abbay because it's the thing 2 do or for someone else.