I got married last January, so this is our first Christmas together. A few months back I mentioned something about wanting to get a "Food Saver" to store leftovers, meals, etc. I sarcastically said, "Hey that's what you should get me for Christmas!" because I know he is terrible at picking out gifts and has been stressing about it for months. It wouldn't be a bad gift from parents or friends, because it would be useful, but from my husband?! Come on! This is our first Christmas together. I feel like he could have put a little more thought into it. And now my present sits under the tree and I can clearly tell what it is. I want him to take it back and get me something thoughtful, but I don't want to hurt his feelings or act disappointed when I open it because I know gift shopping is difficult for him. Any thoughts?
2006-12-19 17:14:07 · 52 answers · asked by quiiora 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are being selfish. Whether you said it sarcastically or not, it was your suggestion. How sweet of him for trying so hard to get you something that he KNEW you wanted. Next time, watch what you say. Give him a huge thank you with lots of loving and the next time you are out, use your "woman powers" to sweet talk him into getting something a little more on the line of what you would have liked to have received. Also, spend the next year teaching him about the types of gifts that you prefer instead of slamming him for not knowing.
2006-12-19 17:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Do you realize how difficult it is to buy gifts for women? I know how stressful it must be for him trying to figure out what to buy his wife, and then you say hey you should get this for me for x-mas. He must have felt so relieved to hear you say that and thought you actually wanted that. If you dont want something you shouldn't say you want it he may have not picked up on the sarcasm and if it was next time you should make it clear or dont say it at all. I agree with others when they say a sweet husband is hard to come by and you shouldn't take that for granted, its just a gift and thats not what christmas is about. Its the thought that counts not the gift, any gift is a good gift coming from your husband whether it be a food saver or tree trunk. As long as he's putting thought behind it put a smile on your face a thank God for that man sitting across from you on christmas day. Not every woman is married and not everyone will have a spouse to share christmas with.
2006-12-19 17:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that most guys like to get gifts they can use and so they think we do, too. They don't understand the jewellery, candles and perfume thing at all. Speaking from 12+ years of marriage experience...don't let him know you're disappointed, not yet anyways. This is the kind of thing that you may be able to laugh about together in a few years but not right now. You've got to be sensitive to his feelings especially if he's been stressing about what to get you! You'll really hurt his feelings if you say you don't want the gift he got you. Afterall, you did tell him you wanted one! Next time, be more selective about what you tell him you want. Oh and here's a trick I use: start a list and put it on the fridge "Gift Ideas for Nancy". My husband knows the list goes up around Sept/ Oct and he picks a couple of things off that list and gets them for me and tells my Mum and his Mom the other items. Then we're all happy; I get things I want and no one is left wondering what to get me!! Remember, too, that it's not the gift that really counts, it's the love behind it that matters most! Good Luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-19 17:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, here is a thought: YOU ARE SELFISH.
This is just a Christmas gift & your lucky you are even getting anything from him this year. I think you should stop complaining, quit nagging, stop demanding, stop whining & just accept what you have & be happy. Christmas is NOT about getting the gifts you want! Christmas is about FAMILY, BEING TOGETHER, LOVE, SHARING, SPENDING TIME TOGETHER. Now, what is wrong with you that you have to be such a grouch this holiday season? I'm sorry but, you are just down right mean & selfish, especially to post this on the internet! just think, if your husband saw this post & read it? how would it make him feel? You better just accept what you got, don't say anything mean & just be happy. If you want that Food Saver, you should just ask him directly & nicely instead of hinting him (how can you expect him to pick the right gift, especially after you said that he's terrible at picking gifts?) or better yet....why don't you go out & buy it yourself? You make the worse out of little things, I swear. This is not a good thing to complain about. SHAME ON YOU!
2006-12-19 17:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him as nicely as possible that practical gifts such as a Food Saver is not the romantic gift that you would like to receive from him at Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries. But since you did say, even jokingly, that he should buy you a Food Saver, you will have to accept it graciously this time. Later, during a romantic moment, that would be the time to tell him that you would appreciate a more romantic gift the next time. Since he has a difficult time thinking of a gift for you, please give the man some hints -- tell him the kind of perfume you like, what kind of jewelry you like, your size in lingerie, etc. If you like to see shows, tell him to surprise you with tickets to a nice show. Help him out until he gets the idea. But always be grateful for whatever he gets you. It's not the gift that counts, but the love that is behind it. His intentions were good. And he is probably very proud of himself for remembering that you said you wanted a Food Saver, so don't deflate him or seem unappreciative.
2006-12-19 17:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anniesgran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this is your first Christmas as a married woman and there is something you should know - men really can't figure out what we would like and I'm not surprised that he bought what you had suggested (jokingly).
Try saying something like "My friend's husband always buys her three small presents - something for the house, some small piece of jewelry and something to wear" There, he now has something to work with. Leave hints like somethings circled in a catalogue.
Perhaps you could write a "List for Santa" and pin it somewhere visible - for example - "Dear Santa, I have been a really good girl this year and hope you bring me something lovely from your sack of presents. I am hoping for a _____ or a ______ and would really love to find a ______ under the tree on Christmas morning."
Even if this doesn't work and all he gets you is the food saver, you will laugh about it in years to come. My wonderful late husband got me a beautiful card for Christmas one year, when I opened it, it had "Happy Birthday Dad" printed inside, we laughed about that for years.
My second husband is from another country and his first card to me said "to my sweat heart" he put "sweat" instead of "sweet", how funny is that!
Remember it is the thought behind the gift that counts and your hubby thinks he has bought something you will really like.
Better Luck next year!
2006-12-20 01:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so selfish, your husband obvisiously heard you say that you wanted it and any man that is terrible at gift buying is thankful for any hints. Give your man a break. Don't let this be the first and only Christmas you two spend together, get a life, and get over it. Your man loves you and you should love him regardless of any material things he gives you. Material things gets you so far in this life. Get your priorities set what is more important gifts or your husband? If you picked gifts then don't expect your marriage to last long.
sugarBear is exactly right. If you get anything from these answers take what she said. Cause in my opinion it is true. Love your husband not material things. Stop being so selfish and thoughtless.
2006-12-19 20:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by JourneyToTheHeart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I don't think you are being selfish and second of all, he is not a thoughtless idiot. He is just a guy, and we guys REALLY DON"T KNOW! Normally a wife teaches her husband the basics about how to live in civillized society, but you are not in a position to do that in this case. You need a third person to help you. Do you know someone like maybe his brother or sister or friend that you could confide in? For example, let's say it's his sister. Talk to her about what happened and ask her to have a casual conversation with her brother in which she honestly asks what he is getting you for Christmas. She can then act suitably appalled when he tells her and she can set him straight. He will feel much better doing the right thing, especially if he can get it right without thinking that he has hurt your feelings. Good luck!
2006-12-19 17:24:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are just clueless and don't really mean to be. They might not have been taught at home how to buy thoughtful or meaningful presents. Also, don't count your guy out yet. He might have gotten you the food saver and have a really nice present hidden away somewhere.
You might have a guy that you have to give more than just hints to. You probably are going to have to tell him outright "Honey, I really like this watch." I had a friend that had a guy like yours, she would go to the jewelry store and pick out several items and then send her husband to the store and look at the items and pick up the one that he wanted to get her. That way he was buying something nice and she was getting what she wanted.
2006-12-19 17:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL.. that's very cute. He was actually trying to get you what you wanted AND that is thoughtful. A sweet husband is worth more than any Christmas gift you could get.
Let me put it this way: If you were to loose him tomorrow would you have regretted your issues over a "food saver"?
Put a big smile on your face.. thank him.. and next year be a little clearer as guys can be a little challenged in gift department.
2006-12-19 17:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by mosaic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get the h e l l over it. My husband has given me vacum cleaners that I've asked for. If your gonna be a cry baby about christmas gifts maybe you should sit down and read the bible to find out the true meaning of the word. At least he rememeberd what you said which means he was paying attention and that earns him 100 points.
You're going to be together for along time so grow up, kiss him christmas morning and tell him you love him
2006-12-20 16:10:36 · answer #11 · answered by BoTToms UP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋