My daughter is 14, and she has been asked out on her "first date". Now the rule I have set is no dating until 16, but am I being unreasonable? I have tried to compormise saying that he could come over to our house, where I could supervise and get to know him, etc. I know I'm the mom and I make the rules, etc. I just want to know if you think I'm being a little unreasonable about the whole "dating" situation. Thank you for your help.
2006-12-19 16:40:55 · 45 answers · asked by Airicka 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
well, i'm 13 (almost 14) and i have a boyfriend. so, my answer is yes and no. there are alot of things about dating that i KNOW i'm way, way to young for, but i'm lucky enough to have a really awesome bf. so i would get to know the guy first and then go from there. i know your daughter thinks it's "uncool" to let mom get to know her "date", but my parents did that with my bf and it wasn't as bad i thought it would be. in fact, i'm actually glad they did, because it allowed me time to get to know him as well. so, i wouldn't let her go out "alone" with the guy yet, but just allow time for both of y'all to get to know him.
hope i helped. God bless and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-19 17:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by sing2thekingforever 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do think u r being unreasonable, she is old enough 2 make her own decisions. As long as this boy is around her age i don't c the problem. She has 2 start dating sometime y not now. Supervising is fine but u will make her feel as if she is just a little child not 2 mention the boy might think it is a little weird. Trust that she will do the right thing.
2006-12-20 05:59:12 · answer #2 · answered by kt baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is a good thing that u said that she should be 16 year before she dates cause she will be older and a little bit more responsible, when she is old enough she will know the diffrence between right and wrong. But what you have to think about is that, do you trust your daughter enough to now that if she is on her date she will know what her boundaries are and what her values are. If you cant get to that stage (witch is trusting her to do the right thing) then she can start dating at any time. So talk to her and find out what she wants and then you will work it out from there. Wish you all the best
2006-12-19 22:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by babz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 Is a bit young, but if you trust her let her go. If she doesnt want to do the house thing, maybe you could drop them off and pick them up, that way you get to meet the guy.
Let her know how you feel about dating so young and keep the dating as little as possible, maybe 1-2 a month going out alone, but supervised house visits can be a bit more. Buy the news paper or let her watch the news, she'll soon figure out that your not being mean but care for her well being and you just want to keep her safe.
2006-12-19 19:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, unless it is with a group where the adult who drives is someone you know and trust. You are not being unreasonable. Today is not like when you were a kid or me. The streets are meaner and so are the people. Tell her to invite him over for a movie night at home or some such thing. Get to know him before you trust anyone to take your daughter anywhere you aren't. My granddaughter is 15 and I have custody. I would not let hr date until at least 16 and then only if I know the young man or one of her two aunts do.
2006-12-19 16:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mudder/ Gi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being unreasonable. Advice from a mom who raised 3 daughters. She really could be put into a position that she is not ready for. Going with friends and her first date is okay. Letting them date alone at sixteen or almost sixteen is really doing what is best for her.
2006-12-19 16:43:58 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being unreasonable, not at all! At age 14, she is just starting to feel certain things, and the boy (who, by the way, may be older than he says, or is at least older than 14) may have other ideas when they are alone, so in that case, you are protecting her. What's more, in today's society, it seems that most young teens do the whole "group date" thing, in which they all get together, and decide on a singular place to go to, and have fun there. Best if these things are chaperoned, though. In short: If she wants to go with him in a chaperoned group environment (which, by the by, you could be that chaperone), then it's OK--otherwise, and especially solo, no way!
2006-12-19 18:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by Mudcat007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she were my daughter, I would stick to my guns and tell her that going on a boy/girl date is out of the question at this time. Tell her to have her young man come over to the house and spend time with her watching TV or playing video games, but no single dating yet. I would see how that goes and if you daughter shows that she is mature enough, then maybe, after awhile, she could start going on dates by herself. You know your daughter best.
2006-12-19 16:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I did not get to date until i was 15 but my mom did the same as you letting them come and see me at our house where she could watch us. I wasn't mad about this or anything. I would only get embarrassed if like my sister done or said something in front of my "boyfriend". I am glad my mom was like that cause knowing any other way i might could have gotten pregnant if i had gotten to do whatever i wanted.
I am now 27, married with one (5 yr old) son. My mom would let him come over to the house and i didn't get to go out on car dates until i was 18 so i think you should let her go out unsupervised.
2006-12-19 17:27:07 · answer #9 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes dating at 14 is too young. 16 is the right age for her to start dating. What matters the most is what you think because you are the parent and this is your child, so you should do what feels right and what age should she date. That is all up to you , you are the parent and your child. I think 16 is a good starting date age though.
Good luck and happy holidays!!
2006-12-19 16:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by Bridget 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing wrong with "dates".
You should let her go on her "first date"
She's gotta grow up.
My mother set the same 16 rule.
but somehow she let me go on a date when i was thirteen.
and she sorta forgot about that rule when she saw how happy i was with that boy.
you just have to watch out for your daughter.
by the time shes fourteen she should be able to tell if a guy is good or not.
you should meet him before th "first date".
you just have to be there for her.
by letting her do this.
your making her think you trust her.
this is what teenagers really want.
i know it would be him you wouldnt trust.
but she wont make bad decisions.
you have to trust her.
just be there for her.
from the first date to whenever they brake up.
thats the reall important thing.
first love can hurt.
im sorry im not answering the question.
but really, just let her go.
2006-12-20 12:09:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋