Ok, heres the situation.. I went out with this boy from 11 till i was 12 and i broke up with him. We have been friends for 2 years { im 15 now} and he got locked up 6 months ago. When he got out {1 month ago} he has been acting different and not talking to me. I took the advice { hes no good and i deserve better ect.} and i just acted like i did not even care about him. He acted hurt... but my question is.. since im such a forgiving person, how do i NOT forgive him for evreything he does. Today it worked fine but... young love { on my part} will do that to you.. any suggestions? Thanks and Happy Holidays!
2006-12-19 16:19:59 · 16 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well ok..
the thing is that most of the time at 15 your gonna go buy what your heart tells you.. no online question thing is going to convince you that what ever your feeling isnt real.. but what i can tell this young man is going down the wrong path you have an option you can stand behind him and tell him that you care and will be there for him but you dont suport the things he does and he has to choose between you and what ever hes doing thats bad. or you can ignore him and get rid of him all together if your afraid hell drag you down the same path with you.
as girls we tend to want to fix men, we see the bad boys and say "oh goody, someone i can train" some men cant be, and you need to let it go.. pick whats best for you.. and accept the things you can not change..
you can always be his friend my dear, but dont let him take advantage of you you deserv much more and i know you know it .
2006-12-19 16:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way, and the only thing that helps is practice. Pretend you're over him, but then go home and write every little thing you miss or still care for about him...then burn it, tear it up, throw it away, something! Try and keep your distance from him. Don't call him, don't write him...just act cool and unconcerned. Otherwise, you're going to keep forgiving and probably just end up being hurt again in the long run. Best wishes and Happy Holidays to you.
2006-12-20 00:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by Suse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the right thing I think. Forgiving him is a good thing to do. But being involved with him in any way, even as a friend, is bad for you.
That he's gotten himself into jail (even if only juvy) so early in his life does not bode well for where he is choosing to go in life.
You need to move on, and take care of your future... he will do what he will do... and hopefully he'll be ok. But its not your responsibility - you're to young to be worrying about anyone's future but your own.
I know that sounds harsh - but I made the mistake of getting involved with some pretty messed up people when I was young, and twenty years later, I'm still suffering the consequences.
Take care of yourself - and Happy Holidays to you as well.
-dh
2006-12-20 00:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize, I really do. I fell in love with a bad kid when I was 12, and that kind of feeling will be powerful for years... decades. But his hurt act is just an attempt to manipulate your feelings. Grown-up love is more powerful than young love, even if it doesn't feel that way at first. So keep ignoring the old boy and find someone who will treat you right.
2006-12-20 00:24:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the person you truly care for turns their back on you, it's okay forgive them anyway but let them go. In time they will realize the purity of your love, but unfortunately it'll be too late. Cause by the time they do realize what you're worth, your heart had already turn its back on them. You just can't deny real love when it was there beside you. So keep in mind, stay real and live to love and let those who takes that for granted, live with regrets...
2006-12-20 00:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by xoxmissjxox 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not to be rude, but i think im going to have to know a bit more info about the guy and why you do or dont have to forgive him.
But if he does horrible stuff that gets him sent to juvee etc. you probably want him away from you.
and if he's not talking to you, what's the problem, if he's hurt that he sent himself you juvee then no offence but boo hoo for him.
really, find a new dude, there's ALOT MORE OUT THERE.
sorry if that was mean but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.
~Peace and love,
~Evan
2006-12-20 00:28:27 · answer #6 · answered by rockaholic397 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AS WELL. BUT YOU SHOULD
NOT LET THIS WORRY YOU. HE THE ONE THAT ACT LIKE
HE DID NOT CARE. SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MOVE ON
HE FEEL BAD. BUT IT NOT YOUR FAULT, IF HE WANT TO
HAVE A FRIENDSHIP THEN HE NEED TO MAKE THE MOVES
BUT DONT LET HIM MAKE YOU FEEL FUNNY ABOUT THIS.
IF YOU WERE NOT A FORGIVEING PERSON YOU WOULD
HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM AT ALL. ALSO YOU ARE
YOUNG AND YOU WILL FIND THAT YOUNG MEN WILL COME
AND GO AS YOU START TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.
2006-12-20 00:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a boy friend at the age of 11? You were locked up?
Straighten your life out! Don't worry about boys.
Where are your parents?
2006-12-20 00:58:19 · answer #8 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are 15!! Don't overstress yourself with boys. Honestly. It's not worth the time or effort. So I say lose him. I was you age once so I relate. I'm 22.
2006-12-20 00:25:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweety it's called acting. Unfortunately with men us women may have to do alot of it. You can forgive, but you still have to stand your ground and set boundries even in love.
2006-12-20 00:23:47 · answer #10 · answered by summera76 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋