2006-12-19 15:52:27 · 17 answers · asked by skytzo ! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
so there is this girl and we dated almost three years ago but then i was retarded and cheated on her so i couldn't live with what i did and couldn't tell her so i broke up with her. now we are talking again and will probably end up getting back together, should i tell her or should i leave it alone. My only concern is whats right, if it ruins my chances so be it, but i dont want to hurt her just to clear my concience. also i dont want to not tell her so as to influence her decision on us? plz help any advise would be appreciated
2006-12-19 15:53:00 · update #1
No don't tell her. I don't normally advocate lying but in this case you really have to look at your motives. Are you doing this for her or for you. I honestly think that you want to do this for yourself. Not that this is a bad thing but think of her feeling unlike the first time when you cheated. Let your guilty conscious be your penance for the mistake. You will have to live with feeling guilty and that should be punishment enough if you are genuine. All telling her will do is hurt her more and possible deprive her of someone that might be good for her. You learned your lesson so now she will be getting a man that is dedicated to her. Unlike the next guy that might cheat on her an not care about her or her feelings when she finds out.
2006-12-19 17:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by Danny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep it to yourself. Since you cheating was the cause of the end of your relationship I'm sure she experienced enough pain because of it when you broke up with her, even though she didn't know the exact reason. Now for whatever reason you've been given another chance to make it work with this girl. I think it would be best to keep that old info to yourself. If you tell her it will only bring up old heartache for her and cause her not to trust you. On that note, if you do something like that to her again you deserve to be alone, remember what goes around comes around. Realize how blessed you are to have a second chance and do the right thing this time!
2006-12-20 00:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by confusedinTX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really is a tough one. I would say leave it alone. I mean, it was so long ago and you both have grown in different ways and in some ways are probably different people then you were back then. I would say start off on the right foot and stay there. No need to bring up past mistakes at all. Start fresh, keep it that way and it should work out. Good luck!!
2006-12-19 23:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by kmp1182 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her. Believe me it would def. ruin your chances of you getting back together. Chalk it up as a big mistake and thank god that you have the chance to start over. If you truly care about her then don't stray again. Please do try and figure out what caused you to be with someone else in the first place. You def. do not want to be with your x if you may think of straying again. Good luck!
2006-12-20 00:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by deezy89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most other situations, it is always better to get things off yer chest.
In this case, whether you tell her about it or not, it's not gonna change the fact that it happened............who knows? maybe she had a moment of indiscretion herself...........did you find out about it ?
I say let it be, it's in the past, FORGET ABOUT IT ALL.............Start over, a new beginning, but this time DON'T BE STUPID !!!
Obviously there's something wonderfully strong happening here, and that's the reason you two are still together.....................I'm sure you have matured over the last couple years............this time, you have no choice but to make it work if you think she's gonna be "THE ONE"
:) Good Luck
PS Like you said.........don't hurt her just to clear your conscience. Let it be.
2006-12-20 00:07:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past, let it be. There is no reason to tell her now and if you do tell her it will just ruin your chance of being with her again. Just don't do it this time around!
2006-12-20 00:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her. Why not start out on an honest note. The guilt will eat you up inside if things work out. You will only wind up telling her down the road and then think of the mess.
2006-12-19 23:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by jenny0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her, it is not fair to start a relationship with someone over false pretences. you have to be completely honest with her from the start and not because you want to or its the right thing to do but because if she finds out later on your screwed
2006-12-19 23:58:57 · answer #8 · answered by *juicyjellybean* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't tell her. What's done is done. Why bring up the past. I think it's selfish when people admit this sort of thing. You want to do it to 'clear your conscience'. Think about her feelings. You'll both benefit if you keep quiet.
2006-12-19 23:54:29 · answer #9 · answered by zimmiesgrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO LET HER KNOW WHAT WAS
GOING ON WITH YOU AT THE TIME OTHER WISE THE
SITUATION MAY COME BACK TO HUNT YOU, HONESTLY
IS THE BEST THING ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU ARE TRYING
FOR A FRESH START. BECAUSE SHE MAY FIND OUT
BY SOMEONE ELSE.
2006-12-20 00:20:49 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋