We have been trying to have a baby. I went to the Dr. and got all my blood work done, a physical, pap smear, etc... I found out I may not be ovulating. Now I feel alone. He doesn't ask me what's going on when I get back from the Doctor's, he doesn't even want me to go and get a blood test done because he's afraid of how much lab work might cost! I work too, I make just as much as him. He won't be supportive and he won't talk to me about any of it. He knows I feel this way and I try so hard to talk to him. Any advice?
2006-12-19 15:33:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was the one who wanted to start a family. I thought a long time about it and I thought we were both on board...
2006-12-19 15:43:13 · update #1
Sounds like you need to rethink this baby idea. Counseling might teach you both to communicate better, and perhaps you'll be in a better position to be parents when you do.
2006-12-19 15:37:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he is probably having a tough time dealing with this situation as you are. He might not want you to get hurt everytime you come back and hear the bad news from the doctor. Men will not say what is on thier mind and come out and tell you what they really feel. He also has to except the fact that there might not be babies in your future. Keep going to the doctor and keep having fun with your husband you never know when that bundle of joy might come into both of your lives. Do not dwell to much on this and make your love life be all about making a baby. I know it has to be hard and I am really sorry this is happening to you. If it was meant to be it will happen if not the doctor will probably put you on some kind of medication so you can ovulate. Good luck and keep making your husband feel special and he should do the same in return. By the way you are not less of a women because maybe you cannot have children do not think that at all.
2006-12-20 00:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"we" or you have been trying? How does he really feel about a baby? Maybe he is not ready. Does he have kids from prior marriage or relationships?
I know that my wife at one point was really buggin for us to have a child and I was not ready because of bad experience with my sons mom. I was not ready to start again. Little that I knew I should have done so since I lost my wife to a car accident i wish now i would have conceived with her.
Talk to him and ask him how does he really feels about it? What is his fear? If any. Tell him this is important to you and give him time to think the situation. Hopefully this will open the communication lines and together can work on a baby which is abig responsibilty on itself. make sure you both are ready.
If he was the one that wanted a baby then perhaps he is frustrated that he can not seem to be able to get you pregnant and its killing his male ego. Even though you said you went to the doctor and find out it may be that you are not ovulating.
Fertility treatments are not cheap and he is probably concerned now with the monetary cost of such treatments.
Other option is adoption? ever consider that? or being a foster parent?
2006-12-19 23:40:48 · answer #3 · answered by Cyrinos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you might have PCOS (Polycysic Ovarian Syndrome) but thats the easy part to figure out...the husband is the hard part. There are a few things:
1. Discouraged at the delay in successful pregnancy and doesnt know how to tell you
2. Frustrated that there isnt a definant answer and hates to see you go through this and again, doesnt know how to tell you
I would keep talking until something is resolved. I'm sure that this is a stressful time and be aware of your own feelings.
2006-12-19 23:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Just asking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. He may be having doubts about having a child and if so, ask him why. Consider his feelings in this. He may also not want to take fertility tests because, in his mind, it's calling into question his "masculinity" and "manliness." I'm not an expert in this but that's my best guess as to why he's acting this way.
BTW, you're not alone. A lot of women (more than you'd think) don't ovulate or don't have healthy ovum.
2006-12-19 23:41:29 · answer #5 · answered by marauders4@pacbell.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband want to have a baby. Maybe he is unsure about having a baby or maybe he is scared that he can't have kids. I would try to sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't participate and ask questions. See if he thinks he is ready for a baby or ask if he has changed his mind and was maybe afraid to tell you since you are so excited about it.
2006-12-19 23:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's just scared to discuss these female health related issues with you. Or, maybe he thinks that you will have to go through infertility treatment which is ver expensive. You could try discussing the topic in a neutral manner with him.
2006-12-19 23:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAY BE HE IS AFFAIRD THE REASON YOUR NOT PG IS HIM THAT DOES SEEM TO SCARE SOME MEN MY HUSBAND WAS SO SCARED OF BEING DAD FOR THE 1ST TIME BUT ONCE I TOLD HIM I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE A GREAT DAD THEN HE WAS OK MY COUSINS HUSBAND LET HER GO THREW TEST AFTER TEST AND NEVER TOLD HER HE HAD BEEN FIXED AND DIDNT WANT KIDS THIS WENT ON FOR YRS YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK AND BE HONEST GOD BLESS
2006-12-19 23:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might not want to be a father. Did you discuss the children aspect BEFORE you got married?
2006-12-19 23:44:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him; and ask him what is the problem,ask him in good manners.Ask him if he want to have children with you or not.
2006-12-19 23:55:00 · answer #10 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋