This is totally hypothetical. I think I would try to go to counseling etc, but I guess who knows for sure what they'll do unless it happens to them...
2006-12-19 15:22:26 · 16 answers · asked by cotopaximary 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
What do you do when your spouse cheats on you? Separation or divorce is common. But staying married may be a better solution.
It is difficult to forgive a spouse who cheats. Affairs break the trust that exists in a marriage. Affairs also point to problems in a marriage. They often lead to separation or divorce.
Before giving up on a marriage, think about whether or not it can be saved. Find the reason for the affair. If your spouse is in love with someone else, it may be the end of your marriage. However, falling in love isn't always the reason for an affair. Sometimes people have affairs because there are problems in their marriages.
Problems can often be resolved, or fixed. Maybe the problem is that something is missing in the marriage. Maybe the couple no longer has sex. The husband may have an affair to meet his sexual needs. It is not the wife's fault. However, sex is a normal part of marriage. If it is missing, there is a problem. The couple needs to figure out why they do not have sex anymore.
Sometimes it is easier to discuss problems with someone else. Marriage counselors and therapists can help. They know how to help couples understand each other and communicate. Couples who feel compassion for each other have a better chance of fixing their marriages.
There are steps a couple goes through after an affair is discovered. The first step is to let the person who has been hurt get upset. When people are hurt, they need to yell and scream and cry. This may last for a few days. If the couple gets through this step, they are ready to begin talking and listening to each other.
In the second step, the couple talks. Some people want to know all the details about a spouse's affair. Others don't want to know. The person who was hurt should not have to hear details of the affair unless he or she wants to know. But honesty is very important. The spouse who cheated needs to answer all questions honestly. There can be no more lies. Lies will only make the situation worse. For example, if you cheated on your spouse twice, do not say you only cheated once. If you want to fix the marriage, honesty is best. If you lie, it may cause more problems in the future.
After the couple talks, they begin to heal. This can take a long time. The affair may come up again. Talk about it again if necessary. Affairs cause pain that will not go away quickly. The healing process is not easy.
2006-12-19 15:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by shepardj2005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may never get over this "cheating" if you remain with your husband, and you may never regain the trust you once had. You must decide if his emotional cheating is something you are willing to accept or if it has broken the Sanctity of the Vows you both took. Take a look inside your heart and answer it honestly. Do not base your decision on the fact your child has Special Needs.....it must be on what is BEST for YOU, for to remain in a marriage that is a lie, has no love and is not built on Trust and Respect, will surely damage a child whether they are "normal" or Special Needs, and you will not be happy. I can tell you that I raised 4 Special Needs children alone, my wife deserted, and those children have grown up quite well, and I know a whole lot happier than if she had remained. Was it hard, of course it was, but if I can raise 4, open a Business of my own and run it with NO help at home or work, then so can you. Your decision must be based solely on your feelings. Either way it will take work, only you can decide if your husband is truly remorseful and worth your time. Remember, most times, once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat. Use your Brain and don't let the hurt cloud your vision, make a choice and stick to it.
2016-03-13 08:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would divorce them but also I would try to figure things out ..
2006-12-19 15:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there, done that. Tried to figure it out. We divorced for many reasons.
2006-12-19 15:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by Cara Beth 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd like to think I 'd try to work it out, but I haven't lived through it and so I am unsure of what I'd really do.
2006-12-19 15:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by 1K 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i agree, you never know what you are going to do until it happens... i think cheating is unforgivable, but i know i love my boyfriend and that we are meant to be together, so i think i would try to work it out. plus there is the rule of forgive and forget.... it all depends on circumstance and who i am at that certain time in my life... am i young and stupid? or old and wise... have i had my heart broken before? i mean it all depends on circumstance...
2006-12-19 15:31:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be gone. once I found out She had cheated, I could never trust Her again.
2006-12-19 15:26:46 · answer #7 · answered by ny21tb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not married but if ever that happened to me, I'd be better off without him. (Keeping my fingers crossed)
2006-12-19 15:34:03 · answer #8 · answered by Meeya 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
run him over with my car, then i'd back up and do it again.
naw im just kidding, i'd divorce him. and tell every woman i knew what he did to me so no one would date him.
2006-12-19 15:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would try to work things out ppl deserve 2nd chances
2006-12-19 15:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by erin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋