I've been told i"m selfish because I filed for divorce. I don't want to cause my children pain, but should I be entitled to happiness too?
Should I sacrifice my happiness for the sake of my children?
2006-12-19 14:55:28 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, I love your name for yourself, Sweet. Tells us a lot about how you feel about yourself. Good!
You already have your answers. Don't question yourself. There will always be someone saying something about something. Always. Hey, you decide and stick to what is best for you, and you only. The kids will do great, great, great. If you take good care of you, the kids will be happy too.
Trust me on this one.
Keep on your train track and you will find your way. Don't wander off your track and end up in an accident of cross fires please. In life, it is short. Follow your path, and there will always be someone bitching about this and that...and you know it is usually someone close to us---always is--but you be you, and stick to your decisions clearly after you have thought things through.
Enjoy your life for heavens sake. It is short, and well, you are doing fine and know what route you need to take. We can hear it in your question! Your answer!
Love you,
Ava
p.s. and please don't involve your children. Toooo many people do this. They are Children. Period. They look to you, YOU for guidance; not you looking to them for guidance. They will hate you for it if you involve them. You decide (and you have) and go forth and proud and move along. You will do great in this life. Your children will follow suit.
2006-12-19 15:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children's happiness should come first but if you're not happy, that will reflect on them. Have you tried counseling? You don't give any reason for not being happy and maybe should talk to someone about it before you give up. Too many marriages today end because of lack of communication and not working on making a marriage work. Most people take the easy way out. It takes two to make or break a marriage. Ask yourself if you would be better off with or without him.
2006-12-19 15:02:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh crap, not another one of you. JUST WHO THE HELL SAYS YOU OR ANYONE ELSE HAS A RIGHT TO BE HAPPY? Where did that nonsense come from anyway? Sacrafice? Really now. I would imagine that you got married because you wanted to do so, right? Did you and they not think it would make you happy to do so? If you answered that you got married and didnt think it would, you only got what you expected, right? If you thought it would and it hasnt, maybe it is because one or both of you need to stop the nonsense, be the person and mate you are suppose to be and the happiness will come.
You kids have a right to have a Mom and Dad that are adults, honor their commitments and vows, do what they are suppose to do. Right to happiness is just another load of the same pc crap that everyone seems to buy into.
How about if it gives happiness to your neighbor to pee on your porch daily? Would you think he is wrong or would you be upset? How about if kicking your dogs makes him happy? Hey, if it is all about happiness, how can anyone be wrong in what they do, if being happy is what counts?
GROW UP AND THINK. All this politically correct nonsense sounds good, yet just another lame excuse for the non thinking or those who want to do wrong without feeling badly for it.
Lastly, I doubt you worry if you cause others pain. You only worry about how to ease your pain while doing what you want. You worry if people will make you feel badly for what you do or look at you like your are a twerp. Other then that, you could care less, right?
2006-12-19 15:21:42 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a page from Anne Landers :
"Are you better off with him or without him"?
If the marriage is that bad and unfixable get out.
Children bounce back easier then you may think.
Do not stay in a miserable marriage for the sake of the children..it will only get worse.
One thing to remember NEVER bad mouth your ex to your children or in front of the kids even if the ex is a real jerk.
Kids learn this in in their own good time ( and you will never look bad in their eyes) They become good judges of character.
2006-12-19 15:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation a couple of years ago and I got the same sort of comments. Isn't it interesting how people think they know your problems better than you do? Anyway, no, I don't think you should sacrifice your happiness for the sake of your children. In fact, I frankly think my children are better off not being raised in that terrible environment. Good luck and try to hang around people who support you.
2006-12-20 09:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you saw a bunch of people jumping off a bridge, would you do it too if they said, "come on!!" ??? What you are asking is something that only you can decide. You divorcing and moving out doesn't mean you can't be there for your kids. You can still be there for your kids and do for your kids whether your in the same household or not. It's not so much about happiness either....it's about having piece of mind. If you stay in a situation whereas your constantly unhappy (and mom too) kids sense that. And being in that kind of situation can make one lose their mind, and then what good would you be???
2006-12-19 15:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by apache_lizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in an unhappy situation for 15 years because of the kids. The kids told me last week they'd like to see me with the right partner. They wouldnt' be mad if we divorced. And I thought we were so subtle!
Your children will not be happy if you aren't. Truly. They pick up on things.
2006-12-19 15:01:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children will get over the divorce. think about it, if you're not happy, how in the world can you make a happy home? Trust me, if you're truly miserable, a divorce is better for your children than the fighting. Good luck!
2006-12-19 14:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by kameka 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have an Aunt and Uncle that "stayed together for the kids." To sum it up without boring you, the kids sufferred majorly. I think that if it is so bad you need to divorce, there is no reason to stay together for the kids, they are better off seeing the two of you individually happy rather than miserably together.
2006-12-19 15:06:58 · answer #9 · answered by LOTR4EVER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you are not expected to sacrifice your happiness for your children,but allow me to share with you something that was told to me,you are only ready for a divorce when you can walk out of a room feeling no pain or hurt and you are absolutely sure you have turned over every stone you could possibly turn over to make things work.I wish you the best of luck and God Bless
2006-12-19 15:06:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋