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my wife are going to divorce, but want to do this without sueing each other
and want this to be as amicable as possible...we both have various reasons to leave but we heard of this 'general' answer to our divorce.

2006-12-19 14:44:44 · 15 answers · asked by ronbab 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

15 answers

Irreconcialble differences is a "grounds" for divorce and no matter what the reason you STILL have to go to court and one person STILL has to be the plantiff and the other one STILL has to be the respondent and one is STILL suing the other for divroce because that is the only way LEGALLY to end a marriage.

2006-12-19 14:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Congrats on reaching this difficult decision like two grown adults! Of course everything in family law depends on the state you are in but here are some general answers:
First, most states now have "no fault" divorce. This means you don't have to prove that the other side is having an affair or anything ugly. You can just tell the court you all are not getting along - that is what the term "irreconcilable differences" means.
Second, you don't actually have to "sue" each other. However, you do have to file papers with the court. Some states will allow the parties to be "co-petitioners" so that neither party is the one who actually filed for the divorce. If your state doesn't allow that than one person will have to file as the petitioner and one will respond as the respondent. In most situations, there is really very little difference between who files and who responds other than who gets to speak first at any trial.
If you two have worked out everything you might want to meet with a mediator. She can help you draft all the documents and reach agreement on all unresolved issues.
The other option is to pursue a "collaborative divorce." In this process each of you has an attorney but everyone agrees that this will not go to court and that you all will work hard to reach peaceful resolution. This can be expensive because it involves two attorneys.
Contact your family court - they may have prepared forms you can just fill out and file - by far the cheapest route to a divorce.
Or one of you can hire an attorney to draft everything and get advice. That attorney would represent only the party who hired her. (Contrary to what a previous poster said - I don't believe any divorce attorney worth their license would represent both parties in a divorce - in some state the attorney could be dis-barred for that.)
Good luck and again congrats on such an amicable resolution.

2006-12-19 15:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by CV 3 · 0 0

Yes there is irreconcilable differences. It is basically a no fault divorce. Make sure to sit down and divide things b4 seeing an attorney. Also U can go in front of judge without an attorney on either side,, just file paperwork yourselves,, divide property,,
is there a child involved? If so draw up physical custody of said child, and support of child, and have all paperwork notarized. Then take to judge. He will ask if both agree. If both agree then divorce will be granted. If any questions u can always ask the court clerk.

2006-12-19 14:54:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes, you can file for an uncontested divorce citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for the petition. It will be MUCH less expensive (both in money and emotion) than a contested divorce. I commend the two of you for deciding to end your divorce in a civil manner instead of trying to do as much damage to each other as you can. Good Luck.

2006-12-19 14:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by nana 3 · 0 0

Yes that is perfect. Irreconcilable difference and uncontested at that! If you are both willing to split everything amongst yourselves you will only need to be separated for a year in most states then just file the paper work yourself.

2006-12-19 14:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by One Of The Girls 3 · 0 0

Yes, irreconcilable differences means that there is no way to fix things between the two of u. It was the way I filed when I divorced. It doesn't have to be messy.

2006-12-19 14:53:05 · answer #6 · answered by lovelost 1 · 0 0

Yes. Irreconcilable differences is often cited as the reason for divorce: You are unable to reconcile your differences.

2006-12-19 14:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

it is seldom for a married couple to separate amicably,and its always that subject of irreconcilable differences becomes the contested issue in devorce proceedings,you mentioned those various reasons for your decission to separate,so those are the bases for irreconcilable differences

2006-12-19 14:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lionel M 5 · 0 0

It depends on the state you live in,, in KY yes in NY no.
My advice is that since you're amicable, use the same attorney and work it out. A good attorney will know how to file in both parties interests.

2006-12-19 14:49:22 · answer #9 · answered by yeller 6 · 0 0

Yes and it just means there is no way to reconcile the marriage. Are you both sure that you can't try to work it out? Have you tried marriage counseling? I don't know the situation but you must have loved each other at one time or you wouldn't have gotten married. Please see if there is anything that can be done before you go your separate ways, you owe it to yourself to try one more time.

2006-12-19 14:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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