tonight i left my b/f after 2 yrs I was very close with his daughter.I loved her like she was mine.Her mom is a crackhead left her as a baby, came in & out of thier livesgrowing up,now she is 14&the son is 17 was raised by her father who really has no clue on raising kids he calls her names when he is mad Kinda a hothead &doesn't have the pacients it takes to raise kids.I have been telling him for a year he needs to get help for his daughter before she gets worse she was sneeking out caught drinking found wiskey in her room always make excuses for it & he would believe her.She can minulipate him like no other now a year later she is having sex with a 22 yr old, found out she has did coke, hot tub parties with boys & girls, failed a drug test, but convinced her dad she was just in the room while they were smoking it & her believed her. I am worried to death about her I love her, I believe if you show love 2 a child you will get results, he believes in police & yelling,Help!
2006-12-19 14:41:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Yes, you did do the right thing. No woman or girl, in their right mind, would stay with a guy who has a huge baggage of drama...some girls still do. It is a waste of your time, patience, and energy. You need to go onto bigger and better things. Like finding a guy who has a great life, has goals/dreams, and is willing to have great time or experiences with you. It would be a sad life to have if you are just hanging around this negativity, instead of being with a man that you find to be a pleasure with.
2006-12-21 01:28:31 · answer #1 · answered by spyder90tishuez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation.
My first instinct is that he was exteremly hurt by his daughter's mother. I think the drug abuse affected him more than he lets you know. This is why he's looking the other way at his daughter's problems. He just doesn't want to admit it's happening all over again. It hurt to much the first time around.
Love is part of the equation. But, the other part is discipline. It's not about policing or yelling, but rather showing her there are consequences for her actions. Some would be, you can't see the boyfriend. If you do it's statuatory rape and he presses charges. It's all contributing to the delquency of a minor. He could get real jail time and your boyfriend could get in trouble with children's services...even loose his children.
Sounds like she's found the wrong crowd. I'm betting she has a lot of hurt, anger and fustration about her mom. Have you tried talking to her about her behavior? Maybe she'll open up to you. I think she needs a good female ear someone who she knows loves and cares about her...and won't leave her.
I hope you'll talk to your boyfriend and let him know how concerned you are about him and the kids. It's obvious you love them like your own...I hope he sees this and will take your advice. YOu know the situation better than me...or any of us.
Keeping you in my prayers!
2006-12-19 22:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is too bad about this situation, you are powerless to do anything for the child/ because you are not her fathers wife. There is nothing that you can do, other than call and provide a loving ear for this child. It sounds like she is already in trouble, not just heading towards it. I think the best thing that anyone could do for the child is to call protective services,to have the child removed from this environment. She is already out of control, before you know it she will be just like her mother, a crack head, and knocked up by this 22 year old. Why hasn't anyone called the police about her relationship with a 22 yr old? That is statutory rape. Contact someone that can help her, protective services, her school, her other family members... Good Luck.
2006-12-19 22:48:51 · answer #3 · answered by mischa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda of agree with you. You have to show ur childern love, but sometimes love isn't enought either. Sound like she has had a rough childhood and that can cause this type of behavior. I also agree that someone for her to talk to wouldn't hurt either. Yelling sometimes jsut makes things worse. Kids sometimes with act out even if they know they will get in trouble and the reason for that is sometimes they feel that is the only time and know that they will get attention that way. I know sound Ironic right who would want yelled at or punished. But i am speaking from experience here and have been told that many times from different medical professionals. But I also agree that if things are way too far out of control that sometimes the best thing to do is to call the cops cause then she or her dad may not have a choice but to get her help. I hope this helps some .
The best of Luck
2006-12-19 22:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by mocnvw22106@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like neither tough love or the kind approach will help that little girl-she will just have to learn the hard way! You left sweetie-if those kids are not in any way biologically yours then there is not a thing you can do.
2006-12-19 22:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by dodlydink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you broke up w/ him doesn't mean you broke up w/ the kids. It sounds to me that she needs some stability right now and you seem to care about her, so don't let her go. Keep in contact however possible. You may just keep her out of future trouble. And I would inform authorities about this 22 yr old, it's just plain wrong.
2006-12-19 22:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should stay with him because of the kids, but you should definitely stay in touch with them/the daughter and guide her as best you can. As someone else pointed out, YOU could be the difference between a productive life for her... or one that isn't.
2006-12-19 22:50:28 · answer #7 · answered by Shars 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no hunnie...you may not want to be wit him as a couple but if really love that girl you should stay with him as friend and try to help that family beofre it breaks competely down...
2006-12-19 22:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... that is hard. but if you care for the girl stay with him as a good firend, and help him deal with the situation that is happening right now.
2006-12-19 22:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by DarkAngel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would adopt the daughter or take her to rehab
2006-12-19 22:50:34 · answer #10 · answered by sillyoldbear93 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋