He abused me once.. I left I came back .. He abused me twice.. I left then came back. He is getting counseling but I don't know if he REALLY has changed. What to do?
2006-12-19 14:36:39 · 21 answers · asked by tina*21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I believe you had no reason to go back to him the first time.
I don't have any information about the likelihood of such men being cured by counseling, but once a man has abused a woman, I've heard that it will never stop.
I have a friend whose husband abused her for about 20 years. She finally divorced him. He kept checking up on her and driving by with his new girl-friend. Just driving by so my friend could see that he was with someone.
In a very short while, he was charged with manslaughter for killing the new girl-friend. My friend said that she knew how to roll with the punches, but her ex's gf evidently didn't know how to deal with it.
So, first time: You don't deserve to be abused, so get out!
Second time: You still don't deserve to be abused, so get out!
Third time: Ditto!!!
2006-12-19 14:44:33 · answer #1 · answered by brightpool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Had A Girlfriend After My Divorce, She Left Me To Go Back To Her Ex,,,, He Swore He Was Better, Had Counceling, But In A Very Short Period, He Beat The **** Outta Her And Left Her Visable Scars All Over Her Face And Such.... Whats That Make Me Feel Like ? I Had Treated Her As The Wonderful Person That She Was, Gave and Met Her Needs As She Wished, I Listened, I Cared, I Breathed Life Into Her Battered Heart..... But She WENT BACK ! And Paid The Price Greatly, And He Almost Took Her Life !!!!!! Once A Woman Beater,,, Will Always Be !!!!! It's A Never Ending Cycle !! Get Out And Find Your Real Prince... Because You May Not Live To See It If You Don't....
2006-12-19 16:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by Guitar Dude In Hollywood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never choose to give him a third try.
You need to try counseling too in order to break the cycle in you that let him get by with it a second time and thinks you owe it to him to give him another chance.
Chances are your self esteem has suffered badly as a result of this abuse and a good counselor can help you find your way toward resolution and help you decide what to do.
2006-12-19 14:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the mistake by going back the first time. So ok you learned a lesson. So when it happened AGAIN why did you go back? Girl get out while you can ok. He has a problem and you need to leave or your momma is going to get a call from the police with very sad news. Leave now!!!
2006-12-19 14:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like you are ready to just walk out. So.....if you are taking this chance, you need to make sure you stick by your guns. If there is any sign of his old self you need to let him know you recognize it and you won't take it. Encourage him to deal with it. He also has to know it will take time for you to forgive, the problem with that is he will expect you to forgive sooner than later. If you do too soon he will walk on you. You may find out you don't even want him if you get strong and your self esteem is up.
2006-12-19 14:50:46 · answer #5 · answered by rob602pa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a scary situation. Can you go to counseling yourself? I think a counselor would know the best thing to tell you. Your counselor may be able to talk to his counselor and if they think you are in danger should be able to tell you that. I am sorry that you are going through this and I hope you find the answer to your problem.
2006-12-19 14:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. I'm telling you now you better leave and stay gone. They don't change, he will make you think he's changed but he hasn't. And what happens if next time he starts abusing you and he doesn't stop. Think about that. Please, get out now.
2006-12-19 14:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by grandmaof6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer to your question. Move on. That is great they are getting help, but there is yourself. Take good care of you, and over time if you are to be together, and you have given yourself some months of alone time without them, well, you will know what to do then.
Move along, and love yourself first.
Please.
Ava
2006-12-19 14:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him. Life/relationships are tough enough without a history like that. You can find a man who will never abuse you.
2006-12-19 14:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by sm4125 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLO!!!!!! have you not seen the movies on lifetime?????? why do you women go back to man who hits you??? leave him for good. dont go back stay away. a man like that never changes. what if next time he gets mad at you again and beats you until your dead???? come on now think. go find yourself a real man
2006-12-19 14:51:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋