Is it right for a man to want space when his wife is near the end of her pregnancy?

Question

My husband wants "time to himself". He says I have become to needed and always want him around. I am 30 weeks pregnant and have two other kids. I can't do much so yes I like him around. I have been having pains and my doctor told me to stay off my feet so much. I still work full time and take care of the kids and the house. All I ask is he be there for me especially at this time. Is that to much to ask or is he being unreasonable?

Answer 1

Your husband is being totally insensitive, but let's take into account that he may be feeling the pressure with the coming of the new baby and all the added responsibilities.
Men don't cope with stress and change half as well as women do. His behavor sounds like a kind of acting out.
Try being as non-confrontational as you can be when when you ask him to do something. Pile on the sugar and don't ask him to do the same thing over and over until he does it. Ask - Don't order- then wait. Give him space to do what you requested and afterward thank him.
Take time to praise him for all the additional pitching he's been doing. Even if he's not doing so much. The more appreciated he feels, the more he will do. Men love to have their ego's stroked weather they admit it or not.
You're definitely not asking too much but it certainly may feel a like a lot to your husband depending on how you ask and if he's rewarded for the task.
He is being unreasonable but he doesn't know it so cut him some slack. Men get overwhelmed too. So try not to come on too strong to quickly. Good Luck . I hope this helps.

Answer 2

slap that man upside the head! he has no right to demand his space when almost nine months ago space was the last thing he wanted. this is his child too and he should be there in its life... even before it is born. he is being VERY unreasonable by wanting his space at all during your pregnancy... and ESPECIALLY at this time. and because you are having pains he should be there even more. having pains probably means you re working too hard or you are too stressed, and neither one is good for the baby. yeah maybe he feels trapped and that you are being too clingy, but you need him, it is his responciblity as a husband and a father to be there for you and his children. and if you doctor is concerned that is all the more reason he needs to get over whatever kick he is on, or at least put it aside for the time being and just be as much help as he can. also at this time in the pregnancy you should not be on your feet as much as you would if you werent pregnant. both yours and your husband's first concern should be the well-being of the child, and him not being present is not in the child's best interest by any means, because him not being around is only causing more stress for you and making things more dificult for the baby.

Answer 3

My husband is also very much into time for himself. Perhaps with a third child on the way, your husband feels he needs to take time for himself before there is another baby in the house and he has no time for himself.

Here at our house, we fought a lot about "his time" and "my time". He always wanted more time apart, and I always wanted more time together. And before our baby came, he wanted to take advantage of what little time he had left before becoming a father. "My time" consisted of cleaning, laundry, bills, grocery shopping, and resting - "his time" consisted of spending time in the basement working on his model trains.

Each of you need your own "me" time to be yourself and enjoy things that you each like to do, separately. Your husband cannot be your ever-present lap dog all the time. You need to divide up your time so that you can spend time together, but also each of you should have your own time alone. Of course, your husband should make himself available to you when you need help and he should understand that you are working at maxium capacity between your job, 2 other kids, and your pregnancy. There must be compromise here.

You're not asking too much, and he's not being unreasonable. You just need to come up with some type of compromise so that he can have his time to himself, without neglecting you and the rest of the family responsibilities. It can be done...

Good luck!!

Answer 4

I'm an oversensitive stay at home dad who has one step child and two of our own with my wife with whom I love cherish and devote, yet with our second (and first for that matter) I had an urge to take off for a week to camp for a week to put things in perspective, I think it was primal, my wife continually reminds me of it in heated arguments as she was around 30 weeks pregnant, although it has tamed over time. The space gave me a release of frustration that wa required at the time, I recall being anxious , helpless and frustrated within the time of my wife being pregnant and needed to get away. I don't think your unreasonable, at the same time it might be too much to ask of him, if you know what i mean.

Answer 5

if he is any kind of man,he will stay by your side.he will realize that he is needed there to help in any way he can.No it is not unreasonable or asking to much.You tell him how you feel.You tell him that you need help with the other children while you are going through this.You tell him that you need for him to step up and be the father that you know he can be.Say to him what ever you need to say,but (try) to say it nicely.At the same time say it so that he knows your serious.A man will not only listen,but he will hear you.A boy will run like a fugitive from the law,and only come around when he thinks that you have forgotten about it.

Answer 6

I haven't got any experience in matters like this, but you said that you have two other children, are all of the children his because if this is his first experience with a pregnancy he might be getting stressed over the idea that because your still working full time and the two children are left in his care he might need a hour or so by himself just like you need time for your self, from what my niece went through she had lots of mood swings and her boyfriend needed time to get his mind ready for the job of fatherhood, women have to go through the physical and mental strain of childbirth and men deal with the stress of mood swings and the worries that if something happened to you and he was watching the children he might not know what to do, my niece went to pregnancy counselling with her boyfriend and that really help them both out. so all i can say is just talk to each other and try and work something out.

Answer 7

He should be there for you. That's sort of the man's job in a pregnancy in my opinion. That being said, if you think you can get by for an hour without him, let him know. We all need a break now and then.

Answer 8

Actually, you're both right. Pregnancy affects men too, which is hard for us to understand because we are the ones with all the physical issues.

Compromise would be the best option for both of you.

Answer 9

He should be there with you, Thats the husbands job to be there for his wife and help you with what you need. If he has time to hisself who will help you, are your kids old enough to help you? and if not tell him you need him with you

Answer 10

if he is in the household..i don't understand the problem..if he is gone for days at a time, then that would be a problem..i think you are worrying a little too much...