MY EX HUSBAND LIVES IN FL. I AM CURRENTLY IN LA. HE RECENTLY STARTED SEEING THE KIDS AFTER 2 YEARS MY COURT PAPERS SAY THEY HAVE TO GO FOR CHRISTMAS THEY ARE 5 AND 6 YEARS OLD. WHEN I SENT THEM FOR THANKSGIVING THEY CAME HOME AND TOLD ME THERE WASN'T ENOUGH ROOM IN THE CAR SO THEY SAT ON SOMEONE'S LAP. AND THAT WHEN THERE DAD WAS AT WORK THEY WERE BABYSAT ALL DAY BY A 12 YEAR OLD. THAT IS NOT COOL WITH ME AT ALL. I SPOKE WITH HIM TONIGHT AND HE SAYS THAT HE CAN'T GET OFF WORK AND CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY DAYCARE SO HE IS LEAVING THEM WITH A 12 YEAR OLD. THAT KID WILL BE WATCHING MY 6 AND 5 YEAR OLD PLUS ANOTHER 6 YEAR OLD. SO I SAID I WILL NOT SEND THEM IF THAT IS THE CASE. WHAT CAN I DO IF ANYTHING. AND WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T SEND THEM.
2006-12-19 13:26:55 · 10 answers · asked by Mommyof3 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
File what would be considered an "Order to Show Cause" in New York seeking immediate relief. Hopefully, you'll get before a Judge - but time is running out.
You have two choices if that doesn't work: Don't send them and risk Contempt of Court (not too bad); Send them and risk your children's safety. (No brainer.)
Get to a lawyer TOMORROW!! Beg, borrow or steal to get a lawyer. Has he moved to FL since you divorced? No Judge in his right mind would require these children to go to him under these circumstances. My guess is your ex won't do anything about it. Suggest he come to LA and visit them for a week at New Year's. But they sleep at your house. He doesn't sound like "Father of the Year" material to begin with.
THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE - GET A LAWYER.
No matter what, you need to have the original Order changed. You might get away with this once - but not repeatedly. Most Family Court matters can be handled by the parent without need for a lawyer. Don't your kids have a Guardian ad Litem - a lawyer of their own. That's the guy you need to fight for your children's best interests. REMEMBER - Best Interests of the Children trumps all else.
Good Luck!
2006-12-19 13:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by 34th B.G. - USAAF 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do not have the right not to send them. Also you didn't say where the divorce was granted, but if it was Florida and you feel they should not go, you will have to file a request there.
I also hope you had permission to leave Florida (again if that was where you were divorced), if not, then te court might see it as you creating the hardship by moving and ask or require to pay for daycare while the visit him. Actually they could even if you had permission. In most states you can't move unless the court approves it when kids are involved in a custody situation State laws vary on this and I don't know at all about Florida or Louisiana, but you need to contact your attorney of record or the court of record and see. They may totally rule in your favor, but no one will rule in your favor if you do not go through proper channels. These are visitation RIGHTS as of now and you cannot make the decision to rescind them. I am just trying to save you time and trouble.
Now, a lot of 12 year olds baby sit kids and several at a time, so you might try to find out more about her, she may be just fine.
Whatever you do, do it legally.
Best of luck to you both and to your kids!
2006-12-19 13:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is really tough as a parent to let children go, especially when they are so young.
This is a time when you have to put the children first and try to support their father. He is trying to be in their life, to be a good role model. That is something, it really is.
I bet he has a great time planned for the kids, and they will only prosper if they have a relationship with both of you.
It sounds like it is hard enough on the kids and if you start fighting you will really and truly make it that much more difficult and painful for them.
I really understand because l have been in the same situation and once the fighting started it carried on for years. The kids still are scarred.
lt was the shock of my life when l lost.
Don't let this happen to you. Show your kids how to make peace, how to be a good parent and how to make things work for them.
They will only love you all the more for this. And he will appreciate the effort. It is actually the more difficutl route to be peaceful and supportive, and takes lots of unselfishness and personal strenght. But you have to focus on the kids and find a way, even if you go as well, to make it work.
The reward will be the smiles on your kids face and the lesson they will gain from watching how you create a working relationship.
2006-12-19 14:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by northstar 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am no lawyer - this is not legal advice, and shouldn't be construed as such. Having said that.
1.) Go to the court immediately. Get before a judge and explain the situation.
2.) Do the children have a law gaurdian? If not, ask the court for one. If they do, call the law gaurdian.
3.) If they leave your house in a car on someones lap, call your local police.
4. Do not risk your kids - but be sure you have your facts correct.
2006-12-19 13:36:36 · answer #4 · answered by cdavidbutler2 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Before you don't send them, file a complaint with your Friend of the Court, or whatever it may be called in your state, so that you have a leg to stand on when the kids don't arrive at his home.
You can't keep them, AND not file some written complaint because then it looks like you're either being petty or bitter, and will have no credibility.
2006-12-19 13:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think you should file a report with the court system - IMMEDIATELY! I'd do it tomorrow if you can! Because if you don't file a report, and don't send them, there could be legal consequences for you. Why haven't you already filed a report? It might seem weird to the court that you are waiting until now to try to stop it. You need to file a report, so they can do an investigation to validate these claims and if they are found to be valid, he will probably lose visitation rights.
2006-12-19 13:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you need to make sure you are squeaky clean and 100% doing the right thing.are you?i doubt it.send them and if you think they are in danger it's up to the authorities to determine that and make a descision via the court.DO NOT use your children as pawns,it's not a game.and maybe you dont have all the information and are jumping to conclusions.i'm not saying that's so but children ar'nt always the most reliable source of info.and do you yhink your being fair all around?i dont know it's a question for you i'm not suggesting anything,same with the rest of the answer.
PS.re:ratingsOH you little children when are you going to grow up if you dont like my answer dont read (not directed at youduein july-15th if your luckyhaha.)
2006-12-19 13:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by BUSHIDO 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you do not want to send them, you will need to go back to the courts and explain the situation. They wont make you send your kids into dangerous, illegal, situations like that.
2006-12-19 13:31:20 · answer #8 · answered by J. R 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You could be charged with obstruction. Talk to the court where you are and let them know your concerns. Especially the part about the no seat belt.
2006-12-19 13:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
be careful....
2006-12-19 13:37:49 · answer #10 · answered by bugi 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋