My ex and I were together for 3 years and my kids got really close to him in addition to me getting really close to his 6 year old son. We broke up 4 months ago so he could go back to his ex wife. It was a bad break up because we weren't having problems, this hit me right out of left field. At any rate, there have been verbal altercations between my ex, his ex and myself. I love that child so much but his parents show absolutely no respect toward me. My ex walked out on my kids and I when his ex wife decided she wanted him back. MY kids miss him and his son and I don't want to make them sad. They talk about him all the time and would love to see him, but I can't put myself in such a hostile situation. To make matters worse, the card is addressed to each of us where he is telling us he loves us and misses us very much and has a bunch of x's and o's around the card. I want to send him something becaues I love him and miss him so much but I dont want him to be sad either. Sigh.
2006-12-19 13:11:47 · 22 answers · asked by thewhalehunter12 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, show it to your kids. My kids grew up with step siblings and though my husband has been dead for six years, they still consider themselves brothers and sisters. Kids have an amazing capacity to forgive and their love is boundless. Just because your ex acted like a horse's ****, doesn't mean the children will stop loving one another. Another side - My children's father married a woman with children, one was close to my kids age...the kids got got very close...then they split - over twenty years ago, and my kids STILL talk about David sometimes. Your kids may work their way through this and remain close in spite of your ex, and all the other factors involved. They need to see the card and to know that they're not forgotten and are still loved by their "brother". You should send the gift, too. He may be a little sad, yes, but he will also cherish the thought that you didn't "forget" him or stop loving him when he did nothing wrong.
2006-12-19 13:21:57 · answer #1 · answered by nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is such a sad sad story hun. I do believe however that your children would want you to show them the card. I understand that they would feel a little sad but think of it this way if the child hadnt sent you the card your children may feel more sad. possibly feeling that he forgot about you all. I would send him a card and maybe a gift card as well. Whocares if his mother gets upset. its your responsability to let this child know that you love him care for him still and that you are there for him through thick or thin. I hope that all of this sadnedd goes away for you and your family. I really hope that this all works out for the better. I wish you the best of luck. merry christmas.
Kristen
2006-12-19 13:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by leaves_of_autumn171311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, show it to your children. Let them know he still cares about them and misses them too. Leave it at that, don't bring up old wounds.
The next step is going to take much courage on your part. Send a Christmas card from you and your kids to your ex, his wife and son. It is a Christmas card, let it send the message of joy and love. Then your job is done. It will be up to your ex and his wife as to whether or not they show it to their son.
Peace :)
2006-12-19 13:21:30 · answer #3 · answered by rezany 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ack!! what is with people and accumulated baggage??.. ex's are the worse and who gets caught in the middle? the poor kids!
They don't bounce back like everyone thinks they do.
Yeah go ahead and show the card to them and if they want to send one let them. But only a card. If you start sending presents the ex might not even let him see them, so it would be a waste of money.
2006-12-19 13:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means yes share the card with your children as this little boy still see's you as important people in his life too, it may cause some sadness but no were near as much if your children were left to think he had forgotten them, and send him something in return as you want to. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and all the good things in life for the New Year.
2006-12-19 13:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by polynesiachick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Although you may not be getting along with the ex you still do love his kid and it's not the childrens fault that thier parents ex loves arn't getting along. i know i would be very upset if my dad broke up with his girlfriend and i wasn't allowed to see or read letters her daughter would send us. And you also have to think that your ex helped him mail it to you guys because the child is only 6 yrs old. where would he get the stamp? and also if the kid has sent you guys something it would be good to atleast send him a card too because otherwise he will be sad and think you forgot about him or even dislike him because of his dad. you need to allow the communication between the kids because it's not fair otherwise... show them it's not thier fault and they're allowed to choose and love who they want in thier lives.
2006-12-19 13:32:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the kids were really the injured parties in this situation.Show the kids the card.It will reinforce what a great friendship/relationship they had.Don't act like it didn't exist.If you and your ex-husband can't be friendly,at least allow the kids to have each other and be grown up about it.Let the ex's son know that you love and miss him too.It will make his day.
2006-12-19 13:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes because if the kids miss your ex's son, show them the card. It might cheer them up to hear from him.
2006-12-19 13:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I think you should try to talk to your ex-wife or send her a letter explaining that you do not want the kids to suffer b/c of ya'lls relationship or lack thereof or let your children call her and ask to speak to their friend. i doubt if she will have the heart to hang up on them or return their correspondance. the children should not have to suffer due to the decisions that you guys have made.
2006-12-19 18:38:44 · answer #9 · answered by lovelife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't put children in the middle of adult problems. the problem with parents is that everytime they have some type of bs altercation with one another, they always (for some stupid reason) put the child in the middle of it all. show the card to the kids and let them live a happy and healthy relationship w/o any of you messing it up or adding any negativity. its not the kids fault that their parents are screwed up in the head. thanks!
2006-12-19 13:17:04 · answer #10 · answered by amy_s03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋